David,
this stuff is way simple. If you can follow a set of instructions, there is no reason to hire a consultant. If you feel like you do need to hire someone, then just ask someone here and offer them a nice frag or two and/or offer any 17 year old with a bittorent client 30 bucks and you're all set.
Four goals 1-3 above, a $50 linksys (or other brand) router will enable all of the above with serious ease. For video I would typically suggest a wired connection (the same router will support that too) since often the video won't do well wirelessly. It *can* work, depends on what you use to play it. An xbox modded with a xbox media center is most excellent.
By the way, I have 1-3 done in my house right now with a cheap o wireless modem and a regular cox cable connection. Nothing to it. (I use my ACII to control the tank. In the past with this same set up, I have had x-10 cameras hooked up as well, allowing me to remotely view my tank, and switch to one of three camera angles (front or either side) using the ACII it's really a piece of cake to do this stuff...
I'm going to ramble about the IP address thing for a minute.
COX will selll you a static IP, but you don't need one. You could also get a dynamic address service like some others have mentioned but you *probably* don't need that either.
An IP address is the unique number assigned to your computer on the internet. In your case, it will actually be assigned to your modem, then all requests at your modem will be forwarded to your router/firewall/hub which will distribute your connections (because you will have port forwarding enabled to send those requests to the proper PC on your lan, but that's another story)...
When you go to reefcentral.com you are actually going to:198.92.103.99, it's just that there are computers all over the world that translate the name reefcentral.com to that number...
When you make your connection to cox, you get an IP address assigned to you. Your PC is a given a lease of the address. I think cox gives you a 24 hour lease. It gets renewed over and over again and you more often then not have the same address for months on end. If you have a power outage, go on vacation, or otherwise turn off your modem and/or router for a long period of time is the only reason that you would ever get an IP address change.
What the services like dyndns and tzo et all do is give you the ability to access your home PC on a dynamic IP with a domain name instead of by IP address.
Since the only person that you want to access this stuff is yourself anyway, you really don't need a "name" to access it by. If you are nervous about the IP address changing or simply want it to be cooler then a set of numbers, go ahead and splurge the 10 bucks or whatever it is for a dynamic DNS service
for number 4, you want to start chatting it up with the home automation guys. There are forums just like RC about home automation, but now you are starting to get out of anything I have done. It can be a fairly serious thing to get it working well, from what I understand.
Now, as far as websites go... You can get website hosting for next to nothing these days. Depending on your needs, A site can be fairly cheap, to thousands and thousands of dollars.
When you are getting ready to get a site online for your new biz give me a holler and I can chat with you about your various options.
Oh, and whatever you do... don't hire someone from a big computer store or something, they will way over charge you.
-dm
