McBeck
Premium Member
I am SUCH a baby!!
The Tub is in the basement, so I started to mosey on down there last night. I got to the bend in the stairs, which is 8 steps away from the basement floor. From this distance, I see the BIGGEST black spider I have ever seen in the state of Missouri sitting in front of the wall opposite the stair landing!!!
Naturally, I froze. I couldn't go down, and I couldn't turn my back. This thing was big enough to push start a VW! I finally focused my adrenaline and bolted to the garage to arm myself.
I returned to the bend in the stairs and found my opponent, who obviously thought he was the victor of the stare down, attempting to leave the scene.
I took aim with my trusty can of Real Kill Wasp & Hornet (& spider) destroyer, and fired a direct blast right onto him. It flipped him onto his back - YES! I took advantage of his defenseless state and unloaded two more shots.
Then I paused to catch my breath and congratulate myself on my long-range shooting. No sooner had I relaxed my grip on the can then the d^mn thing flipped back over and started trying to escape.
It took 3 direct hits of Real Kill and it was up and running! Clearly this is a strain of super-spider that has beefed himself up by basking in the light of my halides.
I took aim once again and unloaded at least 1/3 of the can on him. Again he was flipped onto his back, and again he righted himself. There he was, struggling in a puddle of poison, yet he was ready to make a run for it.
Exasperated and outmatched, I finally called for backup. "Bill... Bill... bill bill bill BILL BILL!! QUICK!! BRING SOMETHING BIG AND SMASHY!!!"
The spousal unit arrived toting a scrap of 2x4. With extreme and admirable bravery, he descended the stairs to engage the beast in hand-to-hand combat.
It took 3 powerful blows with the 2x4 before it stopped moving. I swear to god this was the toughest g'dam spider I have ever seen. I am STILL freaking out, mostly because:
1. What in the heck was that thing eating?!?!
2. You know there is never just one...
I haven't even opened the basement door today. I'm writing this in an effort to gather my courage to face the basement, but I'm not sure if I can do it today. The spousal unit may be on tub feeding duty for a few days...
In case you can't tell, I am a true arachnaphobiac. If Bill ever refused to be the spider slayer, I'd probably have to move to one of the poles (no spiders there!!)
The Tub is in the basement, so I started to mosey on down there last night. I got to the bend in the stairs, which is 8 steps away from the basement floor. From this distance, I see the BIGGEST black spider I have ever seen in the state of Missouri sitting in front of the wall opposite the stair landing!!!
Naturally, I froze. I couldn't go down, and I couldn't turn my back. This thing was big enough to push start a VW! I finally focused my adrenaline and bolted to the garage to arm myself.
I returned to the bend in the stairs and found my opponent, who obviously thought he was the victor of the stare down, attempting to leave the scene.
I took aim with my trusty can of Real Kill Wasp & Hornet (& spider) destroyer, and fired a direct blast right onto him. It flipped him onto his back - YES! I took advantage of his defenseless state and unloaded two more shots.
Then I paused to catch my breath and congratulate myself on my long-range shooting. No sooner had I relaxed my grip on the can then the d^mn thing flipped back over and started trying to escape.
It took 3 direct hits of Real Kill and it was up and running! Clearly this is a strain of super-spider that has beefed himself up by basking in the light of my halides.
I took aim once again and unloaded at least 1/3 of the can on him. Again he was flipped onto his back, and again he righted himself. There he was, struggling in a puddle of poison, yet he was ready to make a run for it.
Exasperated and outmatched, I finally called for backup. "Bill... Bill... bill bill bill BILL BILL!! QUICK!! BRING SOMETHING BIG AND SMASHY!!!"
The spousal unit arrived toting a scrap of 2x4. With extreme and admirable bravery, he descended the stairs to engage the beast in hand-to-hand combat.
It took 3 powerful blows with the 2x4 before it stopped moving. I swear to god this was the toughest g'dam spider I have ever seen. I am STILL freaking out, mostly because:
1. What in the heck was that thing eating?!?!
2. You know there is never just one...
I haven't even opened the basement door today. I'm writing this in an effort to gather my courage to face the basement, but I'm not sure if I can do it today. The spousal unit may be on tub feeding duty for a few days...
In case you can't tell, I am a true arachnaphobiac. If Bill ever refused to be the spider slayer, I'd probably have to move to one of the poles (no spiders there!!)
