I'd second the "biggest you can afford/your spouse will tolerate" thought.
But that may not be specific enough to be helpful, so here are a few other thoughts that might assist you.
Within a certain range, the cost of equipment for a tank primarily depends on the length more than it does the volume. That's an effect of the lighting required for a given length of tank, as high intensity lighting for a reef tank is easily the most expensive purchase. For example, the equipment required to run a standard 120g tank is very nearly the same as the equipment required to run a 75g tank (the 120g is 24" front-to-back; the 75g is 18" front-to-back; both are 4' long).
As mentioned above, certain sizes of tanks in the "standard" list are much preferred for reef tanks because a wider, shallower tank is a lot easier to set-up, maintain and light than a tall, narrow tank. Typical, ideal tank sizes are: 40g breeder, 75g, 120g in the 3 and 4 foot-long category. In the 6-foot long category, 180g and 220g tanks are popular for the same reasons.
Most standard-dimension cube tanks work quite well for reef tanks, they tend to have an ideal footprint dimension vs. height ratio.
Going with a custom tank also allows one to select relatively shallow, wide tanks. Many 5 foot long tanks offered by custom manufacturers are specifically targeted at reefers.