Need advice: my valentine put three new fish in tank

MO Will

Premium Member
Need some advice about this one ...

I get home last night to find that my wife and kids had bought new fish and put them in the tank as a valentine's gift

One banggai cardinal, one pajama cardinal and a royal gramma

My kids (6, 4, and 2) were very excited and have already "named" the fish

I must say that this kind of thing makes me feel like a grinch

My tank is a 58 RR with four fish already - two clowns, a yellow tang and a chromis

It is fairly well established so I think it can probably handle the bioload - but it certainly limits my ability to think about new fish!

Then there is the quarantine issue ... I am pretty sure that the fish were not acclimated just thrown in the tank. In fact the LFS told my wife not to put the LFS water in my tank because of the medications, so my wife just reached her hand in the bag and threw them in

Now the fish may grow on me but right now I think they are ugly!!!! I tried to be excited because I know they meant well and my wife really doesn't like the time I spend on the tank anyway

I am a little disappointed in the LFS - wouldn't a gift certificate be better then buying a fish out of the blue for someone who has a marine aquarium????

What do you think? One option is to keep the fish. A second option is to ask the LFS to return the fish for fish I actually want or store credit. A third option is to donate them to the Clayton Center which has a marine aquarium.

Finally, how does one tactfully rmind one's valentine that putting ugly new fish in a marine aquarium is not a good idea?????

Thanks in advance



New member
I sat the wife and kids down as soon as i setup my system and very carefully explained to them all the bad things that would happen to the tank and them if they ever put anything in or adjusted anything. As far as the pajama cardinal, one came with my used system and they are crazy ugly, so ugly that it grew on me and now i wont get rid of it. I dont think any blame should go on the lfs, if someone comes in and wants very badly to get some fish for there husband for valentines they are going to sell them. they could suggest against it but they are going to sell it. good luck.


In Memoriam
If you wnat to go there... it may be an opportunity to teach them a lesson about being responsible with our animals and life in general. You can tell them that you love their idea and gesture but that the fish will not be happy in your tank because it's not the right place for them. And it's imporant that you all make sure that the fish find a home where they will live happily. Sort of like buying a pony wihout a barn to keep it in. A pony would not be happy in a home without a barn.

I'm not sure, but it may be a problem to have the chromis and two cardinals together. Chromis can be territorial in the upper water column. So that might be another reason to take the cardinals out.

Personally I love grammas and have one myself that's about 4 years old.


New member
I would love to have a wife that brought me something for my tank, good or bad. I wouold love to have a wife that actually even looked at the thing. The unwanted fish is a bummer, but consider yourself lucky.

MO Will

Premium Member
Thanks for sharing your perspectives

Hopefully the fish will grow on me

Like I said it makes me feel like a grinch because it really was meant in the best possible way

We spend so much time planning these things - lights, filtrations, calcium supplements that it was quite a shock to have my wife just throw in three new fish!!!


New member
Any one that would tell their wife and children that what they did was wrong needs to have their head examined. I love my wife and kid and if they want to buy something and put in the tank then who am I to stop them. I am not the only one that looks at the tank and if they want to have a fish in there and I don't like what it looks like, tough luck on me, who says she likes what fish I have in there.
I do understand that certain fish fight with others and the acclamation was not quite up to snuff, but if the tank is doing well that is all that matters. But just in my opinion if my wife wants a fish in the tank in the house that we both share then by all means that fish as long as it is compatable with the others in the tank then I will just have to get used to seeing it in the tank.


New member
Re: Need advice: my valentine put three new fish in tank

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9248305#post9248305 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by MO Will

One banggai cardinal
Now the fish may grow on me but right now I think they are ugly!!!!

One banggai cardinal

UGLY:mad: :mad: :mad:

Are you crazy?????????????????:confused:

They do not get better looking than those:)


New member
I think you're going to have to find some way to talk with your wife about not doing this again, else you might find something really bad in there on your birthday or Christmas or Father's day. Like maybe something that likes to eat your other fish, or your corals, or something that is carrying really bad fish or coral parasites. Fortunately, my wife is pretty well informed on all the different things I do before letting something into my well as my preference of specifically asking for certain items I might need before she buys anything for it. She won't even buy me a scraper without checking first what kind I might want. :cool:


New member
The last 2 times my wife brought home fish were:

1- A large maroon clown to go with my small one. If you have never read how to pair up maroons, this is exactly backwards. Luck has it, that it worked anyway.

2-A pair of domino damsels. Terrorized the tank, couldn't go in the frag tank with the other fish I have in there. Finally went to the lionfish tank. He ate one and it was a little tough to get down due to the shape of the fish. He left the other one alone, I guess to wait until he grew a little larger so it would be easier to swallow. The lionfish passed on before that happened and I finally gave that one away last weekend.


New member
I guess I got wife knows we are broke right now, but suprised me with a new blue background for my tank(I've been wanting one for a while but too cheap to get one) and all I had for her was a card! Besides, she knows our next fish will be an expensive angel so its a little ways away


New member
My wife bought me my tank and all the initial set up items. I'm just glad she even takes a look at the tank. She hates the time I spend on the tank but she's coming around. She even flips the snails back over when I'm not there. I understand the inherent problems caused by unplanned additions and if you can explain them to your family hopefully they understand, but be grateful they enjoy your tank. I've had to break down my tank twice to catch fish that were bought for me but it is a small price to pay to see them enjoy the tank, and well worth it IMO.

MO Will

Premium Member
Thanks to everyone for the replies

It is kind of nice to have the kids so excited about the tank

We'll see ... the royal gramma is eating great, but have yet to see either of the cardinalfish eat ... hope they come around