Fin Mike
New member
I think I just got my hand slapped! Ouch:lmao:
Need to convince the wife... help me out
- Thread starter tgillespie
- Start date
I think I just got my hand slapped! Ouch:lmao:
Chris27
New member
Let me know when you're back on the market, I'm open to bribes of beer (no bud, coors or miller though) and steak! :dance:
And on the other hand, keeping you happy with SW livestock is much easier on the wallet then jewelry and antiques.
mandarin_goby
New member
well, I did just move from Norfolk, Va and I really miss it and you're in Va Beach...lol
yeah, I'm not one of those fussy materialistic womens, ya know? There's lots of us out there. I appreciate honesty above all. If a dude were to throw jewels and shoes at me, I'd get real suspicious and think, ok, what have you done now?
My fiance knows better than to lie to me about prices of computer things he buys. I know how to google. Then again, it doesn't matter because we have separate accounts, so we do what we want!
He didn't think $60 for a clam was easy to stomach. Still, he paid half. Yay. And, he did balk a little when I wanted 2 sexy shrimp for $20 each, but guys like sexy things right
? So, voila, we buy the 2 sexy shrimp and we're both happy.
For those of ya'll who say to hide funds (not the 1st time I've seen that posted on this forum) - would you like it if she hid stuff from you?
Just be honest!
yeah, I'm not one of those fussy materialistic womens, ya know? There's lots of us out there. I appreciate honesty above all. If a dude were to throw jewels and shoes at me, I'd get real suspicious and think, ok, what have you done now?
My fiance knows better than to lie to me about prices of computer things he buys. I know how to google. Then again, it doesn't matter because we have separate accounts, so we do what we want!
He didn't think $60 for a clam was easy to stomach. Still, he paid half. Yay. And, he did balk a little when I wanted 2 sexy shrimp for $20 each, but guys like sexy things right
? So, voila, we buy the 2 sexy shrimp and we're both happy.For those of ya'll who say to hide funds (not the 1st time I've seen that posted on this forum) - would you like it if she hid stuff from you?
Just be honest!
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mc-cro
(macro)
I already had everything I needed for my tank upgrade, I just wanted to get a larger tank.
I already had lights, pumps, sumps, skimmer, reactors, and everything else. Since I had all that, I told my wife it wouldnt be that much extra to upgrade the tank.
somewhere north of $6000 she stopped asking.
I already had lights, pumps, sumps, skimmer, reactors, and everything else. Since I had all that, I told my wife it wouldnt be that much extra to upgrade the tank.
somewhere north of $6000 she stopped asking.
speedjunkie
New member
Best to be honest and come up with a plan. Let her know what it means to you and offer to scrafice something else if need be. Set a budget she can agree to for initial startup cost. If need be scale back a bit. Get her involved and perhaps later down the road she to will share an interest in the hobby which will make it more enjoyable and then you can upgrade to bigger and better. This will make your relationship stronger, not weaker.
Fish Biscuit
Active member
I agree to get her involved & take her w/ to the LFS. There are some beautiful fish & corals out there. It works both ways & I suppose she would not be too happy if you jumped all over her for spending a big chunk of $ & just put it that way. Or ask if she'd rather see at the strip club instead of the LFS lol.
If that doesn't work then go for the shoes, purse, spa day, diamond earrings from Tiffany's..... I spend most of my free time in riding breeches & smelling of horse but I still like nice things.
If that doesn't work then go for the shoes, purse, spa day, diamond earrings from Tiffany's..... I spend most of my free time in riding breeches & smelling of horse but I still like nice things.
haha one of my friends always buys new tanks and changes ideas around but before he buys anything he makes sure he has enough money to get his wife something and or take her somewhere fun and that always softens the blow
it takes time for them to accept it. mine still rolls her eye at me when I buy something new but ive seen her looking at the fish I know she enjoys it she just wont admit it!
it takes time for them to accept it. mine still rolls her eye at me when I buy something new but ive seen her looking at the fish I know she enjoys it she just wont admit it!
Spirofucci
New member
Whatever your budget is.......double it. Seriously.
alton
Well-known member
Did you just get married? All my fish stores know not to give me a reciept.:lmao: If I want something I start saving, instead of eating out spending $20 to $30 a week, bring it from home and in year $1500. Over the last 15 years I have put at least three tanks on lay away. Also looking for great used deals is another way. One of our local sponsors here in SA is selling a used DSA 220, DSA stand, plumbing, and return pump for $500 with no takers!
mandarin_goby
New member
No, I'm not in the majority, that's for sure...fiance used my account to play Diablo IIIThere is a reason for stereotypes.
Because for the majority, they are true!
So don't take offense when you don't fit the stereotype.
I like aquariums, my wife like clothes (especially shoes).
Sure, I like purses/clothes/shoes, but I buy them myself. They aren't given to me as part of a bribe.
Not all girls are obsessed with clothes, not all guys love aquariums - my fiance couldn't give 2 poops about my planted tanks and didn't want a 3rd tank (the reef), until I involved him at every step. Now, he loves it. It was an acquired taste. And, he splits half the cost on the reef - added bonus. He even claims custody of some of the critters - the pom pom crabs are his, the sexy shrimp are mine.
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smkooq
New member
I don't think the comments were sexist at all. It was just generalized sarcasm. Just as girls would joke about guys drinking beer all day with their boys.. Nothing sexist about it..
mandarin_goby
New member
are you a guy? of course you think they're not sexist! From the internets: "Sexism: behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex"
Lying to your wife about the cost of things, hiding accounts, hiding things you buy/receipts, bribing her with things is just plain not cool. You wouldn't like it either if she did that to you.
all guys can fix cars, make furniture, build a computer, love football, play video games, hate being married, prefer blondes...I know for a fact those aren't all true. Same for us. K? Thx.
Lying to your wife about the cost of things, hiding accounts, hiding things you buy/receipts, bribing her with things is just plain not cool. You wouldn't like it either if she did that to you.
all guys can fix cars, make furniture, build a computer, love football, play video games, hate being married, prefer blondes...I know for a fact those aren't all true. Same for us. K? Thx.
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speedjunkie
New member
Been married for 4 years and with her for 8. All I know for sure is I don't have to lie about how I spend my money and get most everything I want... Except a motorcycle.
smkooq
New member
Lying to your spouse is a TOTAL different issue then sexism..
An example of sexism is, "I am a guy and I am better then a female at anything".
Using sarcasm such as "You should buy your wife some diamonds" is not.
IE:
If I was shopping for a color palette for a male I would lean towards a Blue, Black, Grey. If I was buying a color palette for a girl I would lean towards Yellow, Pink, Orange.
Now employing your theory of how sexism works, I would be sexist.
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i dont even think its really a matter of lying to your wife, for me its a matter of not wanting to discuss the purchases i want to make. for instance if she wanted some kinda of fancy purse or clothes or something i do not want to hear reasons for trying to justify the purchase... well same for me i dont want to have a conversation of do i really need this or that or it cost to much blah blah... so basically when she wants something i tell her go for it, i never say no, so far its been working out. she knows i probably buy things without her knowing but she hasnt forced the issue.
and because she is not one thats into shoes or purses or whatever she doesnt buy to much for herself so i take it upon myself to spoil her as well, after finding out that i spent a small fortune on some earings for her birthday she wasnt to pleased and gave me the whole we cant afford it speech. i told her to go ahead and return them if she didnt like em and that she would get every penny back since they were certified. wouldnt you know it a few months later and she still has em and is even wearing them as i type this.
the bottom line is its not about bribing or lying or any of that, for me its about keeping the peace and avoiding unwanted arguments.
and because she is not one thats into shoes or purses or whatever she doesnt buy to much for herself so i take it upon myself to spoil her as well, after finding out that i spent a small fortune on some earings for her birthday she wasnt to pleased and gave me the whole we cant afford it speech. i told her to go ahead and return them if she didnt like em and that she would get every penny back since they were certified. wouldnt you know it a few months later and she still has em and is even wearing them as i type this.
the bottom line is its not about bribing or lying or any of that, for me its about keeping the peace and avoiding unwanted arguments.
the bottom line is its not about bribing or lying or any of that, for me its about keeping the peace and avoiding unwanted arguments.[/QUOTE]
+1
I'm the same. My wife and I make plenty of money. She is cheap for the most part and that is great.. But the fact is I'm not cheap and I can afford not to be. That said if she knew what things cost it would be constant bickering. Thankfully with the kids really into the build she is totally on board and stopped asking. :dance:
+1
I'm the same. My wife and I make plenty of money. She is cheap for the most part and that is great.. But the fact is I'm not cheap and I can afford not to be. That said if she knew what things cost it would be constant bickering. Thankfully with the kids really into the build she is totally on board and stopped asking. :dance:
exactly lol same thing here. but you bring up an interesting idea i also have a couple lil ones my girl is still to young only being 17 months she likes to see the fish swim and try to hit buttons on my controller lol. but my boy is just about 5 and all about wanting to help be build things lol shouldnt be hard to enlist him and then mayby she will be more forgiving lmao!
