ok this is how i solved my problem.
i will start with my tank and parameters
4ft AquaOne
Tank= 274lt (72gal)
Sump= 98lt (26gal)
Live rock= 82kg (180lbs)
Total volume (considering live rock)= 292lt (77gal)
Light= AquaOne Reefglow 120 (180w{LED})
Ph= 8.3
Salinity= 1.023
Temp= 24°c (75°F)
Ammonia= 0
Nitrite= 0
Nitrate= 5
Alkalinity= 12dKH
Calcium= 450
Magnesium= 1330
Phosphate= 0.08
so i spent a lot of time working on my water parameters with no success,
and i finally had enough spare money to afford a good light, after experimenting with a few different lights i got for cheap off of the internet with no success.
i bought the AquaOne Reefglow 120, and i was so excited to finally have my problem solved... but it was not over.... my anemones were still acting strange they would go under the rocks and i would lave them expecting them to reappear, after a month of not seeing them i went searching stipped all my live rock from my tank, no anemones...
i was so ****ed doing all this research and spending money to get it right with zero success.
so i went and bought another anemone i decided i would see what happened if i did not turn all of my lights on (being that my light has 3 switches one for the 10 blue LED {3w each} and 2 switches each controlling 10 white LED {3 w each}) by turning only the blue and one set of the white on it reduced my light from 180w to 120w, low and behold my anemone is doing absolutely great.
so it appears to me from my experience is that you can have too much light
i did read a recommendation for a 1w per gal (i am running 1.5 per gal including sump)
i turn my blue and white on at 8:30 am and run them until 5

m then they go completely off
also i tried my luck with a light that i could adjust all of the colours like what you have but at the end of the day it was too complicated for me to get the right output and could not find any information from everywhere and light spectrum research does my head in lol
also i feed my anemone squid about once a month, but i do not find this necessary at all, but i figure it may grow faster and i just enjoy watching it eat
finally in the end it was all my light, first it was not bright enough, then it was too bright, a lot of hassle but ended up being a simple fix