Happy Valentines Day

[logiktest]

The Rules by which females are governed



The FEMALE always makes the rules.


The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.


No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.


If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.


The FEMALE is never wrong.


If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.


The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.


The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.


The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.


The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.


The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.


The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.


The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.


The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!


Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.


The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.


The MALE must be ready at ALL times

 

[MRGolfo]

Everyone knows Women are Time and Money

Women = Time x Money

Everyone knows Time IS Money

Time = Money

Therefore:
Women = Money x Money (or money squared)

Everyone knows Money is the root of all evil

Money = Square root of all Evil = (all Evil)^0.5

Therefore:
Women = The square of the square root of {all evil}

Women = ((all Evil)^0.5)2

The square of the square root of anything is simply equal to itself....

Therefore Women = all Evil

Mathematical proof

 

[paulamrein]

I have lived my entire life with a woman or many women. Although the rules and formulas have never been written down like that for me. The good Lord has given it to us tucked away in our minds at conseption. Kind of like a dog knows not to Pi$$ where he sleeps. This thread has just opened my eyes to the truth I have always known.

 

[logiktest]

I'm just trying to help the guys give "that special someone" the "pearl necklace" she deserves by the end of the night. Now, everyone be sure to eat plenty of fruit, vitamins, and oysters (Capncapo=2 Viagra + 1 cealis) today. Don't forget the pre-game stretching to stay limber, and good luck to all.

 

[Chelsey]

Re: Happy Valentines Day

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11844983#post11844983 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by logiktest
The Rules by which females are governed



The FEMALE always makes the rules.


The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.


No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.


If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.


The FEMALE is never wrong.


If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.


The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.


The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.


The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.


The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.


The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.


The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.


The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.


The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!


Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.


The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.


The MALE must be ready at ALL times

Damn right! You best not forget those rules either!

 

[ncox38]

If you are looking for a good e-card, or just have a few hours to burn reading some hilarious stuff, check out someecards.com. Well worth it.

 

[pewter_jean]

Re: Happy Valentines Day

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11844983#post11844983 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by logiktest
The Rules by which females are governed



The FEMALE always makes the rules.


The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.


No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.


If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.


The FEMALE is never wrong.


If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.


The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.


The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.


The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.


The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.


The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.


The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.


The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.


The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!


Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.


The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.


The MALE must be ready at ALL times

It is about time you guys understand what is expected of you:lol: