Now that things have calmed down, I'm not so afraid to post

Seriously, you guys are kind of scary sometimes.
gkimble - one of the frustrating parts of this hobby is wanting things you're not ready or set up for, and then seeing someone else do it! There seem to always be exceptions to rules, but because of my cautious nature and respect for the animals and hobby, I usually go with what's most likely to happen, not the appearant exceptions.
Another thing to consider, you said the one in the 12 gal AP was was thriving and splitting. Not all splits are done because the animal is happy. Sometimes corals split out of stress, it's a survival mechanism. I've never seen the tank you're talking about and I have no way of knowing why theirs splits, but it's just something to keep in mind.
Even with success in a situation like this, the nem can quickly outgrow that size tank, and you're back at the begining.
I've heard of people having good luck with toadstool leathers. These can get large too, which gives the clowns more hosting space, leathers don't typically require as much or as intense lighting, and they seem to be able to take the abuse of clowns hosting them.
One rule of thumb (there are many in this hobby) is to always do your own research, and not rely soley on the LFS's information. Sometimes they just don't know any better, and other times they're just trying to make a sale and don't care. I'm not saying that's the case w/ your lfs, but you're likely to run into that at some point.
Good luck