Update.
I've kept doing daily water changes, up till yesterday. I decided to let it go for a day and see what happens to the nitrate levels.
Tonight they are registering zero on the API test. At least it looks yellow, still have yet to test with something reliable, but it's no longer orange or bright red. So whatever I'm doing is working.
Just to recap this thread and my interventions for all surfing in here looking for information.
2/25- noticed everything looking like death. Cyano growth out of control. A Otherwise healthy nem looked shrunken and bleached, euphyllia with no extension (especially torch), leather coral hadn't blown up in a while (I mistakenly attributed it to shedding), monti and birdsnest both were necrosing. I checked everything at this point except nitrates.
2/26- more decline, birds nest all but dead, only a rim left on the monti. Toadstool starting to get reproduction "holes", 'nem is a shadow of its former self.
2/27- cyano is vicious now, covering the chaeto ball, sliming the entire tank. Almost all corals are gone. Checked all parameters and discovered the nitrates are sky high. Immediately changed 50% of the water volume, siphoned the sand bed in both the refugium and the display tank. Shop vacced the sump, blew the rocks off and added some filter socks.
2/28- no change in testing results, API vial still looks like kool-aide. Posted here on RC. Did another 50% water change. Changed socks, blew rocks again, vaccummed all substrate again.
2/29- no change in API results. Started dosing vinegar at 30mls d/t misreading the guide. Kept up with water changes. Another 50% change.
2/30 - another 30mls of vinegar, another 50% water change.
3/1- another 30mls of vinegar, another 50% water change.
3/2 - nitrate results improving. Now we are down to "nuclear orange" and not "kool-aide red", kept dosing 30mls. Decreased water changes to 25%.
3/3 - nitrate levels rising back up, starting to turn red again, did another 25% water change and increased dose to 40mls.
3/4- water change 25%, dose 40mls vinegar. Nitrates back down to orange.
3/5- held water change, dose 40mls vinegar. Nitrates down further, light orange.
3/6- still no water change, dose 40mls vinegar. Nitrates are now Yellow!!
Now tomorrow night after work, I plan to recheck the nitrates. If they are still down I think I'm in the clear.