Lordhelmet
Active member
I have not posted much in the last 5 years or so for one reason or another. Party because I have not had the tank that I wanted and with a 20 Gallon I just didn't feel "into it". I was not collecting and trading the cool corals anymore and I wasn't always upgrading and tinkering with my tank like I used to do.
This past week however I had the opportunity to get a free 90 gallon fully stocked LED lit reef tank. Totally and 100% free. And I lost it. So I have come here to wallow in my pity and tell my story because if I'd been told last week it would have gone down this way I would not have believed it.
First a little back story, I tore down my 75 gallon reef tank when I was laid off 3 years ago. Within a few months I had a 20 gallon nano that was doing great. It made me happy. I went back to school with the intent of finally following my dream. All was going well until 2 years ago when my father became sick and died of cancer at the young age of 61. I moved in to help my mother with take care of my invalid father in his last few months of his life, an honor and a privilege in my mind. When he passed My wife and I sold our house and moved in to help take care of my mother, she had not worked in 40 years and never lived alone, we did not want her to fall into depression alone. My little 20 gallon had no room. Luckily my mothers neighbor is a major nature/plant/fish/everything geek and he happily excepted my little nano. So it was still close to me, I saw it often. That is how things have been up until this week.
My wife works full time, I work part time and school full time. We had discussed a few times that we were not in the place to have pets, My son wants a dog, I'd love a tank, but we are not in the place for it. For starters we just found out we are expecting another little bundle of joy This winter. So I was not even looking or thinking of looking into something. Then this amazing deal happens, a fully stocked 90 gallon reef falls into my lap. The deal is very time sensitive, I call my wife and we talk, we agree that while it is a great deal, the month to month and other time costs are just not right. Not wanting such an amazing deal go to waste, I ask my neighbor if he would be interested and he jumps on it. Mind you this deal was for me only, the person came to me first before going to the public. My neighbor gladly agreed to house the tank until I could take possession of it. Win Win! Then my mother get interested and asks to see the tank, she does and quickly falls in love and want the tank.
This is where I totally and completely underestimated the hormones that can be found in a pregnant woman. My mother mentions to my wife that she love the tank to which all love and affection from my BAE ends. Quickly seeing that showing my mother was a mistake I make sure to let everyone know that the neighbor is going to get it so that it never really was coming here in the first place. OK all done and solved I thought.
Now the time to pick it up. Remember I said this was time sensitive. The person gave me until last night at 7 to pick it up. (I don't know the person that well, I'm not sure why such an arbitrary time and such but they were very firm with it) I was not able to leave having prior obligations that day. I wasn't ready to go until about 45 min before 7pm. With my neighbor and I getting bins and buckets and loading up the vehicles to move this tank, I get a call from the wife asking for help at the store as she is not feeling well. I should have just said yes. I told her I had to leave for the tank now or it would be gone. I guess some of the previous nights anger and resentment was still there and the things spoken about me and the tank shall forever remain lost to history. Knowing that the juice was not worth the squeeze at this point, My neighbor and I agreed to let the tank go. It was just not worth the pain and suffering on both our parts. (his wife wasn't 100% on board yet as well.)
I thought all was done, until after I helped my wife at the store and 10 to 7 she told me to go help move the tank, to which I said it was to late and the tank was gone, the guy lived a 30 minuets away. Now I will never know the joys of childbirth, The pain, discomfort, high emotions that flood your body, or how your body never really returns to normal. So I have no idea how to explain what happened next with my lovely wife. She was quite, quite angry at me for letting this free tank go and not helping my neighbor move it. It was the topic of a very intense discussion. i was caught completely off guard and really had no other option then to say I didn't mind and that it just wasn't worth it.
Why am I telling you all this now. I'm not sure, maybe for pity, or for a good laugh, so you guys can think what a sorry bastage. I believe that personally each of us has to look at all aspects of the hobby and realize that while this is a fun and interesting adventure, nothing about it is worth jeopardizing the relationships with the ones you love. Fads come and go, but families are forever.
Enjoy your tanks and your families. Ill have a tank again, and it'll be EXPENSIVE.
This past week however I had the opportunity to get a free 90 gallon fully stocked LED lit reef tank. Totally and 100% free. And I lost it. So I have come here to wallow in my pity and tell my story because if I'd been told last week it would have gone down this way I would not have believed it.
First a little back story, I tore down my 75 gallon reef tank when I was laid off 3 years ago. Within a few months I had a 20 gallon nano that was doing great. It made me happy. I went back to school with the intent of finally following my dream. All was going well until 2 years ago when my father became sick and died of cancer at the young age of 61. I moved in to help my mother with take care of my invalid father in his last few months of his life, an honor and a privilege in my mind. When he passed My wife and I sold our house and moved in to help take care of my mother, she had not worked in 40 years and never lived alone, we did not want her to fall into depression alone. My little 20 gallon had no room. Luckily my mothers neighbor is a major nature/plant/fish/everything geek and he happily excepted my little nano. So it was still close to me, I saw it often. That is how things have been up until this week.
My wife works full time, I work part time and school full time. We had discussed a few times that we were not in the place to have pets, My son wants a dog, I'd love a tank, but we are not in the place for it. For starters we just found out we are expecting another little bundle of joy This winter. So I was not even looking or thinking of looking into something. Then this amazing deal happens, a fully stocked 90 gallon reef falls into my lap. The deal is very time sensitive, I call my wife and we talk, we agree that while it is a great deal, the month to month and other time costs are just not right. Not wanting such an amazing deal go to waste, I ask my neighbor if he would be interested and he jumps on it. Mind you this deal was for me only, the person came to me first before going to the public. My neighbor gladly agreed to house the tank until I could take possession of it. Win Win! Then my mother get interested and asks to see the tank, she does and quickly falls in love and want the tank.
This is where I totally and completely underestimated the hormones that can be found in a pregnant woman. My mother mentions to my wife that she love the tank to which all love and affection from my BAE ends. Quickly seeing that showing my mother was a mistake I make sure to let everyone know that the neighbor is going to get it so that it never really was coming here in the first place. OK all done and solved I thought.
Now the time to pick it up. Remember I said this was time sensitive. The person gave me until last night at 7 to pick it up. (I don't know the person that well, I'm not sure why such an arbitrary time and such but they were very firm with it) I was not able to leave having prior obligations that day. I wasn't ready to go until about 45 min before 7pm. With my neighbor and I getting bins and buckets and loading up the vehicles to move this tank, I get a call from the wife asking for help at the store as she is not feeling well. I should have just said yes. I told her I had to leave for the tank now or it would be gone. I guess some of the previous nights anger and resentment was still there and the things spoken about me and the tank shall forever remain lost to history. Knowing that the juice was not worth the squeeze at this point, My neighbor and I agreed to let the tank go. It was just not worth the pain and suffering on both our parts. (his wife wasn't 100% on board yet as well.)
I thought all was done, until after I helped my wife at the store and 10 to 7 she told me to go help move the tank, to which I said it was to late and the tank was gone, the guy lived a 30 minuets away. Now I will never know the joys of childbirth, The pain, discomfort, high emotions that flood your body, or how your body never really returns to normal. So I have no idea how to explain what happened next with my lovely wife. She was quite, quite angry at me for letting this free tank go and not helping my neighbor move it. It was the topic of a very intense discussion. i was caught completely off guard and really had no other option then to say I didn't mind and that it just wasn't worth it.
Why am I telling you all this now. I'm not sure, maybe for pity, or for a good laugh, so you guys can think what a sorry bastage. I believe that personally each of us has to look at all aspects of the hobby and realize that while this is a fun and interesting adventure, nothing about it is worth jeopardizing the relationships with the ones you love. Fads come and go, but families are forever.
Enjoy your tanks and your families. Ill have a tank again, and it'll be EXPENSIVE.
