In all seriousness...
Green hair algae: Quick fixes?
Algae is always annoying, but if you have green hair algae in your tank you might be especially worried. It blocks the light from reaching your corals and sucks up all those important nutrients. It can be tempting to reach for a quick fix, but unfortunately most do more harm than good.
Q- What eats green hair algae?
There are plenty of fish and invertebrates that have a taste for algae, but don't think they can solve your problem. Don't ever just buy a fish for the purpose of troubleshooting, especially if it doesn't fit your stock. You are supposed to fix any issues, not your fish.
Q- Algae control products?
Nope, not the best idea either. Although algaecides might work, they don't actually solve your algae problem. They just mask it (and might kill all your plants in the process).
Q- Scrub, scrub, scrub?
Before you whip out the algae scrubber and get to work, keep in mind that removing the algae is just a temporary solution. Although it's a safer option than algaecides and won't kill your plants, the problem will just return in a few days or weeks.
Solutions:
A- Lessen feeding.
B- Add a fuge or Algae reactor (At least 10% of the total water volume)
C- Lessen your lighting.
D- Carbon dosing.
E- Circulation.
In my opinion, I would implement them all. It does not hurt to have a fast removal system. You may see situations where the nutrients will be too low, but you can fix that by feeding a bit more.
In summary...
You don't get rid of the algae, you give it a better home. i.e. Fuge or Reactor.