update for those who are interested:
The good news is that somewhere along the way, between increasing the amount of water being replaced during water changes, removing almost all the remaining sand from my tank, and scaling back the LED lighting even more, it looks like my tank *may* have finally stabilized and turned the corner!
The bad news is that while things have stopped dying... and in many cases are even starting to look healthy again (polyp extension!

new growth too!)... I never did pinpoint the cause of the problem. Perhaps I've pulled enough bad stuff out of my tank, and it's gone for good... but perhaps I'm merely changing water fast enough to barely stay ahead of the buildup of whatever (if anything) is leeching out from a piece of hardware, etc. We'll see.
Anyhow, thanks so much to everyone who shared thoughts and suggestions along the way. It has not been a fun last two years, especially after attempting to restock the tank twice after thinking I had it "cleaned up," but knock on wood, perhaps it really is ready to become a reef tank again rather than just being a vat of warm, salty water to store rocks in!
I'm going to gradually scale back the water changes and see what happens... and if things stay healthy through that, the next step will be to start increasing the duration and intensity of the lights again. I'll keep you posted (and perhaps you'll even start seeing me at the meetings again one of these days

)
Thanks again to everyone who tried to help along the way!