The Diabetic Story**
So, one day, we're getting slammed, to the point that it never dies down. About 6 hours into my shift, I'm crashing and need a break to get some food and off my feet. My coworker, Kim, opts to "man" the fish room for me, making sure to inform clients that she can "bag, tag, and sell fish" but can't answer any questions.
However, while I'm at lunch, Kim has a strange visitor, who brings her 4 bala sharks in a pitcher, demanding a trade. She asks me, and I reiterate our policy. You MUST call the day you wish to bring fish in for a trade, or else no trade, no credit, no bargaining, nothing. The gentleman did not call, so there will be no credit. He gets mad, and yells at her, again, demanding credit. Hoping to keep from losing a client, she comes back and asks me to assess a credit for him. But, as I go out, the man is gone.
Assuming that the man has just gotten annoyed and left (which does happen when we tell people that credit is at our discretion), I bag the fish to float and go back to lunch. Suddenly, I hear a commotion, and it's Kim with the man.
So, I go out to see what all the fuss is about. The bala sharks are in terrible shape (ripped fins with white, fuzzy edges, and obvious speckling of ich. Even someone who doesn't know fish could see they were ill). He still demands a trade. I give him $3 credit for his balas (which is following our math of 1/2 retail, but I based it off of a much smaller size of balas, to account for the poor quality of fish). I quietly inform Kim of this and return to lunch.
I come back, and Kim's attempting to wrangle some clown loaches from the display tank. I tell her no, since she's already ruining an aquascape that was over 9 months old, and point of the larger clown loaches with better coloring (that would have been cheaper since we got that batch at a steal), six tanks down.
But, oh, the man is back. "Those ain't the fish I wanted. I wanted four of those!"
"I'm sorry sir, but the only fish for sale in the tank with the discus are the discus. The other fish in there, we have in other tanks and are for display and dither purposes only. It she keeps at it, she's going to ruin and established planted tank. However, the clown loaches in this tank are larger and have much better coloration in the red on their tail, see?"
He nods and says angrily, "Fine!"
So, Kim bags them up and takes the man up front to ring him up. But, then, there's a big dispute at the register. She comes back with the bag, and is staring at the tank she took the clown loaches from. They are $12.99, but they're 4-4.5" or larger and with exquisite coloring. She looks confused, so I ask her what's going on.
Kim: "He says these fish are supposed to be free."
Me: "No, he only got $12 in credit. Those fish cost $13 a piece. Do the math."
Kim: "I did."
Me: "So...?"
Kim: *sheepish* "I told him I'd look into it."
I laugh, knowing she's just done this to placate him, since Kim has never made a mistake with pricing. She goes back up front and tries to finish the transaction. But, now, the man is coming back to the fish room.
Man: "I cannot believe how you are trying to rip me off!"
Me: "I'm sorry?"
Man: "And this is ruining my health! I'm a diabetic and you're making me walk back and forth all this way. I can't! You're going to kill me, and it's going to be on your head!"
Me: *mentally recognizing that he could walk just fine when he thought he was getting what he wanted, and remembering my great aunt* "I'm sorry sir, but I don't understand. What's wrong?"
Man: "I brought you four fish. I'm getting four fish!"
Me: "Yes, but these fish don't cost the same amount."
Man: "But you're making me walk back and forth. My diabetes is killing me, and it's because of you. All I want is these four fish."
Me: "Yes, but you can't just trade one fish for one fish. If it worked that way, I'd breed guppies and trade them for show quality discus. I assessed credit for your bala sharks to come off of your clown loaches."
Man: "You're and that girl ripping me off."
Me: "No. I'm not even supposed to be giving you credit right now, since you didn't follow our policy. Kim is doing you a huge favor by giving you credit even though we should not. I assessed $3 per fish since your fish are in poor health."
Man: "But bigger ones cost more!"
Me: "But sick ones don't cost anything. They just sap our resources or die. And, even still, we don't sell large bala sharks for $26."
Man: "I wish! Then I'd get a fair trade instead of you women trying to kill me."
Me: ".... no.... then you'd be ripping us off more than you are already attempting. I can't sell your fish, so they're worth more dead to me than alive. But we're giving you credit fixed at $3, you can take it or leave it. Otherwise, I have other customers to see."
Man: "Then I want my fish back. I'm not having you steal them."
Me: "By all means. They're already floated for 15 minutes, I've just been to... busy to release them. But I have to be helping other people now."
**I have nothing against diabetics. My great aunt Gladys has diabetes and is a highly able-bodied woman. She opted to get a 3rd story apartment in a building without elevators in South Florida to avoid ants and tropical storm related flooding. I just found it really amusing that a person who was able bodied just two to three minutes earlier suddenly has crippling diabetes.