Regardless of which way you have your bulkhead, the gasket ALWAYS goes on the flange side, not the nut side. It should be installed dry - no silicone sealer should be needed or used. If you must, a very small amount of plumbers silicone grease can be used - just enough to make it shiny - no globs. Hand tighten, then ~ 1/4 turn more. No wrenches!