UH_OH_5_OH
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Damsel Haters Thread
For all of us who have been told by our LFS guy/gal (See knuckle draggin', mouth breathin' oxygen thief !!!) to use any species/type/variant/hybrid or genetic mutant of a DAMSEL to cycle a newly established tank:
THIS THREAD IS FOR YOU ! ! !
Why I hate the Blue DAMsel....
1. The Blue DAMsel is in essence the icthyological equivalent of SATAN.
2. The Blue DAMsel will harasss/intimidate/pester/molest/ annoy/steal food from/torment and cause ich and other stress related sicknesses in other more timid, placid fish species.
3. The Blue DAMsel is nearly impossible to remove from a 135 gallon reef system without the use of homemade depth charges constructed from the internal workings of an M80 which is placed into a black, plastic 35mm film cannister and dropped from the deck of SCUBA STEVE's Ocean Explorer 3. (The construction diagrams of the afore mentioned depth charges were pulled from the pages of the Anarchist Cookbook. Available at fine military surplus stores nationwide.)
4. The Blue DAMsel will cause your otherwise sane and well balanced individual (See photo of me!) to contemplate the complete removal of themselves from the saltwater hobby altogether and the use afterwards of the afore mentioned 135 to grow new species of FUNGI !
5. The Blue DAMsel causes the afore mentioned well balanced individual to proceed through the five stages of grief. Other stages that are also possible during this process and not appearing in any particular order, are: Homicidal ideation of the Finding Nemo Plush Toys on your childs' bed, Obtaining a Fishing and Hunting License so that you can shoot bass with a deer slug and the random act of smashing aquariums at your local Pets Mart or PetCo (which isn't a bad idea anyway, but still !)
Also, it should be noted that the Green Chromis has in no way, shape or form any relationship to the EVIL HELL SPAWN known as the Blue DAMsel.
For all of us who have been told by our LFS guy/gal (See knuckle draggin', mouth breathin' oxygen thief !!!) to use any species/type/variant/hybrid or genetic mutant of a DAMSEL to cycle a newly established tank:
THIS THREAD IS FOR YOU ! ! !
Why I hate the Blue DAMsel....
1. The Blue DAMsel is in essence the icthyological equivalent of SATAN.
2. The Blue DAMsel will harasss/intimidate/pester/molest/ annoy/steal food from/torment and cause ich and other stress related sicknesses in other more timid, placid fish species.
3. The Blue DAMsel is nearly impossible to remove from a 135 gallon reef system without the use of homemade depth charges constructed from the internal workings of an M80 which is placed into a black, plastic 35mm film cannister and dropped from the deck of SCUBA STEVE's Ocean Explorer 3. (The construction diagrams of the afore mentioned depth charges were pulled from the pages of the Anarchist Cookbook. Available at fine military surplus stores nationwide.)
4. The Blue DAMsel will cause your otherwise sane and well balanced individual (See photo of me!) to contemplate the complete removal of themselves from the saltwater hobby altogether and the use afterwards of the afore mentioned 135 to grow new species of FUNGI !
5. The Blue DAMsel causes the afore mentioned well balanced individual to proceed through the five stages of grief. Other stages that are also possible during this process and not appearing in any particular order, are: Homicidal ideation of the Finding Nemo Plush Toys on your childs' bed, Obtaining a Fishing and Hunting License so that you can shoot bass with a deer slug and the random act of smashing aquariums at your local Pets Mart or PetCo (which isn't a bad idea anyway, but still !)
Also, it should be noted that the Green Chromis has in no way, shape or form any relationship to the EVIL HELL SPAWN known as the Blue DAMsel.
Remind me to never drive into your district
