Dumb things you've overheard customers say at the LFS

FINALLY! A place to vent. I have worked in many sectors of retail and Pet store customers are BY FAR the dumbest people on earth.
Is it just me, or have other people noticed that most people who keep goldfish as pets are a few chromosomes short of a full helix?

Why do my chinchilla and rabbit fight?-- not fish related i know.

I bought 8 plecos for my 20, why do i have more algae?

I bought some of those kiklids and put them in my fishbowl... why did they die?

My zebra convict keeps killing my leopard danios. How do i make him stop?

*man holding 12 gallon under his arm*-- I'll take 3 of those (pointing at yellow tangs)

I'm looking for something to put in with my piranah that will put up a good fight before it dies. My response- javex.
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9766809#post9766809 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by nsreefer
I'm looking for something to put in with my piranah that will put up a good fight before it dies. My response- javex.
Click to expand...

ROFLMAO
 
After reading this thread, here's my story.

My kids and I are at my FAVORITE fish shop. The employees know me. My home away from home. Got the picture?

We're browsing the the tanks looking for something really different. I don't buy often because I'm picky.

My kids know that waving hand is xenia, they know motiporas, acros by name...

It's a very busy day at the shop last Saturday.

In the loudest voice my 9 year old son can muster... "Look at that Dory." Everyone looks our way.



I felt so small.
[shakes head and walks away]
 
Last edited:
:lol:
Great thread!

Especially like this one:
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9766809#post9766809 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by nsreefer
*man holding 12 gallon under his arm*-- I'll take 3 of those (pointing at yellow tangs)
Click to expand...

Nice and simple!
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9771224#post9771224 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by kigs
LOL you could've prevented that by teaching them latin names instead of Pixar names...;)
Click to expand...

Haha I don't know if the movie would have done too well...
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9766608#post9766608 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Jojoyojimbi
I don't have any amusing saltwater stories, but from freshwater LFS I've got some;

customer: "I've got a 29g tank at home, it's pretty big, can I fit 5 pacu in it?"
walmart employee: "Sure you can, fish only get as large as their tanks"
me: "that's an urban legend, and pacu can get 3ft long"
walmart employee: "it is too true, I've had an oscar in my 10g tank for years and he's only 3 inches long"
me: "the only way that those fish won't outgrow your tank is if they die, and if you count death as a growth limiter than you shouldn't keep fish, and you shouldn't work in the pet department"
walmart employee: "and you should leave"
me: "ok, i'll go, (to the customer)but if you want to know the truth about fish, i'll be over in the petfood isle getting some catfood"

I proceed to round the corner from the fish tanks and grab a bag of catfood for our cats, the customer follows and says:

customer: "pacu's really get 3ft long?"
me: "depending on the species yeah and those red bellied pacu's get pretty danged big"
customer: "how big of a tank do you need for an oscar?"
me: "minimum 55g, preferrable 75 or 90"
customer: "so where should I buy my fish from where the people are smart about fish?"
me: "anywhere there's no walmart around"
Click to expand...

Wow I LOVED when customers assured me that fish only get as big as the tank... what the heck does that mean??! Sure it might slow their growth, but certainly not stop them from reaching near full-size... Thanks for that :D
 
by davidryder
Wow I LOVED when customers assured me that fish only get as big as the tank... what the heck does that mean??! Sure it might slow their growth, but certainly not stop them from reaching near full-size... Thanks for that :D
Click to expand...

no worries, the real thanks should go to wal-mart, where there's always low prices and misinformed employees waiting to "help" you
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9779368#post9779368 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Jojoyojimbi
no worries, the real thanks should go to wal-mart, where there's always low prices and misinformed employees waiting to "help" you
Click to expand...

I used to *love* when people told me that I was wrong because the people of WalMart, PetCo, Petsmart, or one of their relatives said something different. It always ended up being something absolutely rediculous in the end. They treated it like they didn't trust me, like I was lying. Being that the shop I worked at was next door to a WalMart and within a 1/2 mile of Petco and Petsmart, we got a lot of those people.

"Well, they told me at Petsmart I could keep Electric Labs with my Oscars because they're both cichlids." *facepalm*

"Yeah, well, they told me Petco that I could keep triggers with my clownfish. Your food must have something in it that made them angry."

"They guy at WalMart told me Pacus don't get too big or mean."

"The people at Petco told me the dory fish would 'thrive' in a 55."

"No, that simply can't be real coral. My cousin told me no one's been able to keep coral alive in a tank."

"Well, the guy at WalMart told me I just had to feed my fish this." *shows generic Wardley or Tetra tropical fish flake food NO MATTER what kind of fish*

But, my absolute favorite of the short, stupid, and fairly commom moments involved out stocking populations. C'mon, everyone who has ever worked pet retail, especially fish, knows about this one. When the customer insists they can keep really high stocking populationsi in a small tank or something like an arowana in a 75, because you're doing it too.

I just don't get it. I've never once worked a job before where so many people thought I was going absolutely out of my way to lie to them. =/
 
The growing to size of tank thing - They always have a friend who has kept goldfish for 20 years and they've never grown, in a bowl and never done a water change !

We used to get loads of people come in at iranian new year and try to buy loads of goldfish, then get really ****ed off when we asked them about their set up.
Iranian new year traditionally has live goldfish in tiny, tiny bowls on the table. After new year they just kill the fish as they are only for decoration.

I think it's been mentioned, but when you have a huge outdoor tank with about 500 2" goldish in, and the convo goes..
Customer " can i choose which one i want?
Me "not really, it's almost impossible"
Customer " I'd like that one there with the white stripe"
Me "i'll give it a couple of goes and see if i can get it"
Being the genius i am i then catch the exact fish they ask for
Customer "no, that wasn't the one i wanted" !!!
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=4504296#post4504296 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by keckles
A lady walks in around Christmas time looking for fish...

Lady: "I'm looking for a nice fish to give my husband for Christmas."
Me: "Do you have anything in mind, or would you just like to look around?"
Lady: "I'll just look around and let you know"

30 seconds later...
Lady: "Oh, this Dory is pretty." (Pointing to a blue tang)
Me: "Yes, and what size tank do you have?"
Lady: "It's a 10 gallon."
Me: "You probably need a tank larger than 10 gallons to keep that fish."
Lady: "No, my husband has been keeping his goldfish for a long time. I'm sure he can handle it."

I then gave up, and just let her talk to the owner of the store.
Click to expand...


that lady is my ex wife, i divorced her because the blue tang she gave me eat 3 of my goldfish!
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9779775#post9779775 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by kizkiz
The growing to size of tank thing - They always have a friend who has kept goldfish for 20 years and they've never grown, in a bowl and never done a water change !

We used to get loads of people come in at iranian new year and try to buy loads of goldfish, then get really ****ed off when we asked them about their set up.
Iranian new year traditionally has live goldfish in tiny, tiny bowls on the table. After new year they just kill the fish as they are only for decoration.
Click to expand...

That holiday actually made me cry every year I worked at the LFS because of how many fish I had sent to an awful death, and how many people came back to complain about it. I just couldn't explain well enough how terrible of a fate those people were condemning the goldfish to when they wanted to buy ten to thirty of them for a small one-gallon bowl. They all got mad at me when I told them it was basically abuse/neglect to do that, arguing that it was a "time honored tradition."
 
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9779775#post9779775 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by kizkiz
I think it's been mentioned, but when you have a huge outdoor tank with about 500 2" goldish in, and the convo goes..
Customer " can i choose which one i want?
Me "not really, it's almost impossible"
Customer " I'd like that one there with the white stripe"
Me "i'll give it a couple of goes and see if i can get it"
Being the genius i am i then catch the exact fish they ask for
Customer "no, that wasn't the one i wanted" !!!
Click to expand...

Man I thought I was the only one. I haven't worked in a LFS for 5 or 6 years but this always happens. They point out a goldfish and I catch it. Then they tell me it isn't the right one. Trust me. I am pretty handy with a net. I know I caught the right one. They just don't remember which one they picked out. The worst one is when they want to pick out a fish from a tank where all the fish look alike. You get it and then they tell you it's not the right one. You put it back and go again. Same thing happens. Finally at the end they say "I guess it doesn't matter. They all look the same." Come oooooonnnnnnnn! You couldn't have figured that out before I spent the last half hour trying to catch one single neon tetra in a tank of 50?
 
or when you bag up a ton of saltwater fish and take it up to the counter, then they say that they have a fresh water tank.
 
Havent had many experiences, but there is one that I thought was pretty damn bad.

Im at Petsmart, looking at the FW fish. A 16 year old associate who knows everything was telling an older lady that it was ok for her to put 4" pink kissing gouramis in one gallon bowls. She wanted them to be the "centerpiece attraction" at her birthday party, or some type of party. She bought 4 fish, and 2 bowls. I was disgusted, and could not believe what I just saw happen.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
Need advice
Replies
1
Views
1K
Uncle99
Uncle99
R
some random questions
Replies
1
Views
182
SantaMonica
S
padi200
Which salt and 4 more things!
2
Replies
30
Views
1K
Billfishbrsin
B
M
Back to this wonderfull hobbie after 10 years
Replies
4
Views
239
griss
griss
K
Radion time help. (Long post)
Replies
2
Views
62
kj swans
K
Back
Top