here's the update.
Joe stopped over and took a look at it with me. Here were the suggestions -
1) insert u-tube to see if overflow baffles are the issue - ok, i had to try it last night. It definately helped the water level in the tank, not much changed inside the overflow. SO, i had to turn it up a couple notches (very small ones!) not able to open pump up much more, started getting the "flushing / surging" inside the overflows.
so, this leads me to believe, the drain plumbing won't handle the amount of water. but the slots will neeb to be opened up to drop the water level in the tank slightly.
2) after looking at the plumbing, thinks the restriction is the 90^ right off the bulkhead. The drains come straight down about 10" below the tank, then a 90^ fitting, then the 2 sides double "T"ed together, then 2 lines into sump.
the suggestion here is to come right off the blkhd with a 45 and add some down slope to the drain lines.
My only concern with this is that i need room for a valve, and a "T" for the ref/skimmer on each drain. These take room, and my sump is only about 12" below the main tank.
i could try this, but i will have to cut out the blkhds, i must be the only person who glued in the drain lines. I'll have to see if i can find new ones locally.
for those who didn't read my build, here's what the plumbing looks like, only changes are the pink lines for the refu and skimmer are straight out, then turn 90^ down, and the 2 90^ were replaced with 2 "T"'s on the green drain lines tying them together.