Hope your night was f***ing better than mine...

[mfp4073]

So it comes up on 2am. I am showered, fed, washed sheets just put on the bed (straight out of the dryer) I am happy, clean, and peaceful. I figure the fish in the plant tank need some food and I pick the towel off the top of the tank...and something falls out and thumps on the floor. In the 1/10th of a second that this happens my mind is trying to figure what the hell was that...at the 2/10ths of a second mark the damn thing scurries off under my bed......it was a ****ing huge spider.....no joking at least 6 inches across......and now its under my bed. I grab flashlight and bug spray and look under there. Damn thing is staring at me, upside down hanging from the underside of my bed, I swear it laughed and then ran further under there and disappeared. Yeah. Now I am ****ed. So I start dissembling the bed to find it. Sheets come off, nothing. pull the bed out, nothing. Prop the mattress up, nothing. pull one box spring out, nothing. Remove box spring from room, nothing. You have to picture this. There is not a good way to remove my mattress or just "stand" it up out of the way, so I have it pinned up using a baseball bat, one box spring is in the other room, fresh sheets are thrown on the floor in the other room. Spider is no where to be seen. I swear at this point I can hear it breathing. Still not sure where it came from, but up the wall it runs and into the blinds/curtains. After several minutes of thrashing, spraying, beating it runs out and into the corner. It gets doused with bug spray and then skewered with a sword. Dead spider is removed to outside...and then the real night mare begins. My ****ing bed will not go back together. It came apart right. But the damn box springs will NOT fit back in the frame. The god damned spider ****ed with my bed to make it not work right (that is all that I can figure at this point). I try everything. At one point I even got out a big screwdriver to try to pry it into shape. Now I have the mattress against one wall and both box springs in the other room and have the frame in pieces trying to figure out what happened. Still dont know. Start reassembling and finish putting everything back where it was, pre-spider.....and its after 3am and I am wide awake and tired.

I give up, I am doing several shots of whiskey and going to bed.....

 

[Mrs Smith]

Damn, that sucks.

I unfortunately, have had a crappy night too, and been up most of it. Dear Husband is veeery slowly recovering from major abdominal surgery, and my in-laws and I have been taking shifts. Tonight, I've slept about 2.5 hours, and I figure that's it. I've never had to do anything quite like this. I mean, I take care of sick people all the time - it's what I do. But never like this.

Sigh.

Damn that spider for screwing with your bed. I'm guessing if it had been me, husband would have been relegated to spider duty. Ick. I hate being surprised by spiders.

Danielle

 

[saltwater2642]

Got One. You know how you're just on the verge of waking and just getting back to sleep? Well the wife and I are sleeping quietly in bed all is nice just getting back to sleep then all of a sudden something drops onto the right side of my neck and starts to crawl down my neck. As soon as I move it stings the S&*t outa me and is a searing burning pain. I jump up with seconds turn on the light and find its a scorpin. A dang scorpin Man Just great Just what I moved her for.

 

[cowboyswife]

I effin hate spiders!!! Ive been finding them in the house the past few days, and it just freaks me out. Im going to the store today and buying some bug spray with some serious residual and Im spraying the perimeter of the house. And the back porch. And the garage. And around all the windows and doors. We have woods behind our house, and Im ready to rip it all down if it will keep the spiders out of our house. Luckily, we have only had three scorpions in this house since we moved in here in December. Seriously, what is the deal with sick nasty bugs in FL?? Id rather have a gator walk through my back yard than have mutant bugs near me.

 

[flfirefighter13]

Spiders monkeying with your bed, bristle worms chargeing porn to your cards, you must have been an exterminator or something ina past life and every creepy crawly critter is out to get you.
If its any help I feel your pain, I was sleeping at the station one night and our tones went off letting us know we had a call to respond to. I jumped out of bed, slide my uniform pants on and made it halfway out to the firetruck before feeling something move on my knee. I had no idea what it was till I jumped out of my pants mid stride and saw a spider about the size of my palm stareing back at me. I steped on him and smooshed him into my pants then just grabbed my nasty old bunker gear and responded to the call, My partner was laughing so hard I had to drive to the call. Funny in hind site but sometimes I do hate these florida critters

 

[Brazengrrl]

At least is wasnt a female spider with a sack of babies on her back who would scatter about your room after you skewered their mother plotting their revenge against you.
No, all kidding aside, spiders are the worst. Sorry for your bad night, hopefully today will be better!

 

[chrisstie]

I don't think I've had the misfortune of seeing something so large and alive not in a cage at the pet store except once in middle school. It was a wolf spider and 30 kids in a portable were running around hysterically because we knew it could eat birds so logically in an 8th graders mind we were next, right?

Yikes.

I'm a little twisted I'd probably keep it as a trophy. Or I know kevin would probably torture his sister in law with it - She's the kind that would probably roll over her car if she culdn't get out in time to find the spider.

Suddenly im not really hungry for breakfast anymore

Hope you feel better and get some real spider-free sleep.

Wow that happened on the night spiderman 3 came out. coincidence?

 

[carman9941]

LMAO

 

[Swirlygig]

did he look something like this? Man i would hate to have one of these bite me!

<img src = "http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b35/swirlygig/jeffandspider.jpg"
<P>
<img src = "http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b35/swirlygig/1.jpg"

 

[jsl6v8]

Well on the good side I though that I would inform all of you that the average person eats 8 spiders in their lifetime in their sleep, good luck going to bed tonight

 

[Mrs Smith]

EEWWW!!!!

Scorpions???

 

[mfp4073]

um yeah. It was as big as that one, but had a little more meat on its bones.

And thanks for no one saying I should have let it live. I will live with a roach infestation before I can deal with spiders.

 

[Biggie]

Spiders in FL. huge!!! LMAO....

 

[gwrench]

Wanna see big spiders!! Take a trail ride on your mountian bike sometime inthe deeper parts of the woods!!
Bannana Spiders as big as 14" across their leg span in webs so large you would think a deer or bear would get stuck. Talk about a freakout cruising along dodging tree limbs and wham into a web six feet across!!!!
Sudden loss of bowel control usually happers!!! LOL
Actually they normally don't bother humans just the vermin bugs they desire. Best left alone unless you know what type of spider it is. Or kill it with some very powerful distance sprayer. remember the brown recluse can kill in some instances.
Sleep tight everyone....LOL

 

[cowboyswife]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9883352#post9883352 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by mfp4073
um yeah. It was as big as that one, but had a little more meat on its bones.

And thanks for no one saying I should have let it live. I will live with a roach infestation before I can deal with spiders.

Heck no man, no bashing here! Kill the beasts! lol

 

[taketz]

Don't worry about swallowing any spiders guys...

From www.snopes.com

Claim: The average person swallows eight spiders per year.

Status: False.

Origins: Oh, yuk!
I said, 'Quack' It's hard enough to avoid those horrible wriggly things while we're awake, and now we have to worry that they're crawling into our mouths while we sleep? Little Miss Muffett was a piker.

Fear not. This "statistic" was not only made up out of whole cloth, it was invented as an example of the absurd things people will believe simply because they come across them on the Internet.

In a 1993 PC Professional article, columnist Lisa Holst wrote about the ubiquitous lists of "facts" that were circulating via e-mail and how readily they were accepted as truthful by gullible recipients. To demonstrate her point, Holst offered her own made-up list of equally ridiculous "facts," among which was the statistic cited above about the average person's swallowing eight spiders per year, which she took from a collection of common misbeliefs printed in a 1954 book on insect folklore. In a delicious irony, Holst's propagation of this false "fact" has spurred it into becoming one of the most widely-circulated bits of misinformation to be found on the Internet.

 

[lusenut2]

Well I didnt have a bad night at all. It was a really good night. lol Sorry about your luck man, those things are straight from the devil

 

[jay24k]

More bad news. You can spray your whole house with roundup and it won't kill a spider. Spiders are one of the lovely creatures that have to be sprayed directly. The hairs on their legs prevent the pest control stuff from hurting them. So don't waste your money.

 

[Mrs Smith]

They cannot, however, escape my vacuum.

Or my cat Ginger, who likes to play with them.

So did you get the bed back together??

 

[mfp4073]

I still dont know. I literally took the frame apart and put it back together the exact same way and then the thing fit. It was like the frame shrunk 1.5 inches and only when taken apart returned to the original size.