Let's Pick on Gramps!!
- Thread starter Nanook
- Start date
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
old (ôld)
adj., old·er, old·est.
Having lived or existed for a relatively long time; far advanced in years or life.
Relatively advanced in age: Pamela is our oldest child.
Made long ago; in existence for many years: an old book.
Of or relating to a long life or to people who have had long lives: a ripe old age.
Having or exhibiting the physical characteristics of age: a prematurely old face.
Having or exhibiting the wisdom of age; mature: a child who is old for his years.
Having lived or existed for a specified length of time: She was 12 years old.
Belonging to a remote or former period in history; ancient: old fossils.
Belonging to or being of an earlier time: her old classmates.
often Old Being the earlier or earliest of two or more related objects, stages, versions, or periods.
Geology.
Having become slower in flow and less vigorous in action. Used of a river.
Having become simpler in form and of lower relief. Used of a landform.
Exhibiting the effects of time or long use; worn: an old coat.
Known through long acquaintance; long familiar: an old friend.
Skilled or able through long experience; practiced.
often ol' (ôl)
Used as an intensive: Come back any old time. Don't give me any ol' excuse.
Used to express affection or familiarity: Good ol' Sam.
n.
An individual of a specified age: a five-year-old.
Old people considered as a group. Used with the: caring for the old.
Former times; yore: in days of old.
[Middle English, from Old English eald.]
oldness old'ness n.
SYNONYMS old, ancient, archaic, antediluvian, antique, antiquated. These adjectives describe what belongs to or dates from an earlier time or period. Old is the most general term: old lace; an old saying. Ancient pertains to the distant past: “the hills,/Rock-ribbed, and ancient as the sun†(William Cullen Bryant). Archaic implies a very remote, often primitive period: an archaic Greek bronze of the seventh century B.C. Antediluvian applies to what is extremely outdated: “a branch of one of your antediluvian families†(William Congreve). Antique is applied to what is especially appreciated or valued because of its age: antique furniture; an antique vase. Antiquated describes what is out of date, no longer fashionable, or discredited: “No idea is so antiquated that it was not once modern. No idea is so modern that it will not someday be antiquated†(Ellen Glasgow).
USAGE NOTE Old is the bluntest of the adjectives most commonly used in referring to advanced or advancing age. It generally suggests at least a degree of age-related infirmity, and for that reason it is often avoided in formal or polite speech. Many prefer elderly as a more neutral and respectful term, but it too can suggest frailty, especially in reference to individuals as opposed to a group or population. And while senior enjoys wide usage as both a noun and adjective in many civic or social contexts, it is often considered unpleasantly euphemistic in a phrase such as the senior couple living next door. • As a comparative form, older would logically seem to indicate greater age than old. Except when a direct comparison is being made, however, the opposite is generally true. The older man in the tweed jacket suggests a somewhat younger or more vigorous man than if one substitutes old or elderly. Where old expresses an absolute, an arrival at old age, older takes a more relative view of aging as a continuumâ€"older, but not yet old. As such, older is more than just a euphemism for the blunter old, offering as it does a more precise term for someone between middle and advanced age. And unlike elderly, older does not particularly suggest frailness or infirmity, making it the natural choice in many situations. See Usage Notes at elder1.
adj., old·er, old·est.
Having lived or existed for a relatively long time; far advanced in years or life.
Relatively advanced in age: Pamela is our oldest child.
Made long ago; in existence for many years: an old book.
Of or relating to a long life or to people who have had long lives: a ripe old age.
Having or exhibiting the physical characteristics of age: a prematurely old face.
Having or exhibiting the wisdom of age; mature: a child who is old for his years.
Having lived or existed for a specified length of time: She was 12 years old.
Belonging to a remote or former period in history; ancient: old fossils.
Belonging to or being of an earlier time: her old classmates.
often Old Being the earlier or earliest of two or more related objects, stages, versions, or periods.
Geology.
Having become slower in flow and less vigorous in action. Used of a river.
Having become simpler in form and of lower relief. Used of a landform.
Exhibiting the effects of time or long use; worn: an old coat.
Known through long acquaintance; long familiar: an old friend.
Skilled or able through long experience; practiced.
often ol' (ôl)
Used as an intensive: Come back any old time. Don't give me any ol' excuse.
Used to express affection or familiarity: Good ol' Sam.
n.
An individual of a specified age: a five-year-old.
Old people considered as a group. Used with the: caring for the old.
Former times; yore: in days of old.
[Middle English, from Old English eald.]
oldness old'ness n.
SYNONYMS old, ancient, archaic, antediluvian, antique, antiquated. These adjectives describe what belongs to or dates from an earlier time or period. Old is the most general term: old lace; an old saying. Ancient pertains to the distant past: “the hills,/Rock-ribbed, and ancient as the sun†(William Cullen Bryant). Archaic implies a very remote, often primitive period: an archaic Greek bronze of the seventh century B.C. Antediluvian applies to what is extremely outdated: “a branch of one of your antediluvian families†(William Congreve). Antique is applied to what is especially appreciated or valued because of its age: antique furniture; an antique vase. Antiquated describes what is out of date, no longer fashionable, or discredited: “No idea is so antiquated that it was not once modern. No idea is so modern that it will not someday be antiquated†(Ellen Glasgow).
USAGE NOTE Old is the bluntest of the adjectives most commonly used in referring to advanced or advancing age. It generally suggests at least a degree of age-related infirmity, and for that reason it is often avoided in formal or polite speech. Many prefer elderly as a more neutral and respectful term, but it too can suggest frailty, especially in reference to individuals as opposed to a group or population. And while senior enjoys wide usage as both a noun and adjective in many civic or social contexts, it is often considered unpleasantly euphemistic in a phrase such as the senior couple living next door. • As a comparative form, older would logically seem to indicate greater age than old. Except when a direct comparison is being made, however, the opposite is generally true. The older man in the tweed jacket suggests a somewhat younger or more vigorous man than if one substitutes old or elderly. Where old expresses an absolute, an arrival at old age, older takes a more relative view of aging as a continuumâ€"older, but not yet old. As such, older is more than just a euphemism for the blunter old, offering as it does a more precise term for someone between middle and advanced age. And unlike elderly, older does not particularly suggest frailness or infirmity, making it the natural choice in many situations. See Usage Notes at elder1.
StupidsReef
Premium Member
Old: Someone who would have the time to find and post this, and then read it!! Nook I seen him in a pool.....And he moves slow even when in water!! 
I've also noticed that when around him and said persons cell phone rings he has to put on his glasses just to find the phone.......wait...wait for it..... that's in his own front pants pocket!!! :lol: Oh yea HI cApnCAp0. :wavehand:
I've also noticed that when around him and said persons cell phone rings he has to put on his glasses just to find the phone.......wait...wait for it..... that's in his own front pants pocket!!! :lol: Oh yea HI cApnCAp0. :wavehand:
StupidsReef
Premium Member
:lol2: Thats good!
capncapo
New member
I would love to help Jack BUT you could not have picked a worse day for me....and this is the truth......my daughter is getting married Saturday.
As much as I would rather give you a hand ( believe me ) I think I would be childless if I did. Now if you want to change the date to Sunday I'll be there.
As much as I would rather give you a hand ( believe me
) I think I would be childless if I did. Now if you want to change the date to Sunday I'll be there.Similar threads
