buzzbait00
New member
and a Happt New Year!
Merry CHRISTmas To All
- Thread starter buzzbait00
- Start date
MaryBebo
Premium Member
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR !
MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Mary and Mike
Here is a e-mail I got today
Memo from Santa:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve the States of Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South
Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, and Missouri on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of
the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies
so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few
differences between us.
Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba
doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can
handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer
one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely
to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I hear'd dat."
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the! back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
and It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the
Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state
patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Mary and Mike
Here is a e-mail I got today
Memo from Santa:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve the States of Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South
Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, and Missouri on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of
the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies
so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few
differences between us.
Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba
doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can
handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer
one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely
to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I hear'd dat."
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the! back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
and It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the
Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state
patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
Tomoko Schum
New member
Merry Christmas, y'all!!!
I was hoping some posted another good one. Thank you, Mary.
Tomoko
I was hoping some posted another good one. Thank you, Mary.
Tomoko
fishfeeder
New member
MERRY CHRISTMAS!,
From:
My family to Yours!
May your Families and your Homes be blessed this holiday and for many years to come!
From:
My family to Yours!
May your Families and your Homes be blessed this holiday and for many years to come!
Similar threads
