Honestly, I agree in the sense that different timelines work for different people. Some people wait months to add anything, and some people don't. I think it just depends on how the parameters are looking and how much time you're willing to devote to the tank. My tank for example, I used the "live sand" which, I agree, the benefits are debatable, all LR from my LFS sumps, and salt water I had made myself. Set the tank up with water, rock, and sand 10/21/15, tank cycled so fast that on 10/28/15 I had added two clowns and a CUC, which are still living. 11/17 I added my first LPS coral, 11/28 my first RBTA, and 12/4 I added my first SPS. All of which are still living, and I would say thriving.
I just say do what works for you. Don't take that to mean "shove 15 hippo tangs in a 55 gallon because it works for me." I just think that some of these "guidelines" that members here are quick to shove down new members throats aren't nearly as strict as they make it seem. Test your tank parameters daily if possible. Figure out what your nutrient levels are, and ca/alk/mg consumption levels are at, and take it from there.
Brian
It's not an exact science, but issues tend to lie in the same general areas. There's some good information here.
I am kinda curious about your alkalinity levels, though.
Well this is what I recommend as far as test kits..
Ammonia, Nitrates and Nitrtite you can get away with API test kits since too me doesn't have to be accurate
Calcium and Alk Either Salifert or Red Sea pro
Magnesium Salifert or Red Sea pro
Phosphates Hanna checker or Red Sea pro.. Salifert way too hard to see color changes in my opinion.
Well this is what I recommend as far as test kits..
Ammonia, Nitrates and Nitrtite you can get away with API test kits since too me doesn't have to be accurate
Calcium and Alk Either Salifert or Red Sea pro
Magnesium Salifert or Red Sea pro
Phosphates Hanna checker or Red Sea pro.. Salifert way too hard to see color changes in my opinion.
That would depend on your definition of "high tolerance."
But yes, their needs are not as strict as hard corals. Consistency and trends, however, are more important than the actual parameter number.
Can you post a picture of the tank and a close up picture of these bundles of tentacles??
Don't despair on keeping corals. You will get there. The only time I've had softies melt away in days was after a tank move in which there was a bad ammonia spike. The water got cloudy and stinky and the fish died as well. It sounds like your tank is otherwise well, if on the new side. But you certainly didn't buy a tank one day and throw stuff into it the very next day, so I'm surprised softies wouldn't do well in your system, or at least survive. They are pretty tough really....I wonder if you have copper somehow in your system, or, more likely the lighting was too strong. If they were under dimmer lighting they may have just not been able to handle the lighting change.
Sometimes we never figure out the weird stuff that happens in our tanks. Keep up good husbandry and try a mushroom in a sheltered spot once you are ready to try again. You can probably find a local reefer to give you one, or pick up a small cheap frag when you are ready to go.
I also think running carbon or polyfilter to pull out anything that might be the water is a good idea. I don't know if anyone explained polyfilter, it looks just like a filter pad but pulls out contaminants. Based on the color it turns, it can tell you what it's pulling out.
Good luck, don't give up!