Rena, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your tank troubles
I will likely feel/sound like a complete idiot after posting this, but it's worked for me. It doesn't sound like you have any SPS, so why are you so worried about Calcium and Alkalinity? Softies (and most LPS) do just fine with the amounts of Calcium and Alkalinity that your salt provides. When it gets used up it's replaced by what's in new water from a water change.
In my experience the more stuff you dose your tank with, the more trouble you have. I just do water changes, monitor nitrates, phosphates, pH, etc, and let the tank do its own thing. By adding stuff frequently all you're doing (IMO) is keeping the tank from reaching equilibrium, allowing the organisms in the tank to process the stuff in the water.
Something that Clark touched on...the higher your water temp, the less dissolved oxygen is in the water. I do not know of an ocean that is in the mid 80s year round. I just ran downstairs and looked at the temp on my 40 gallon breeder...it reads 78. I have a 30 gallon breeder upstairs that has a consistently high temp (around 82), can't seem to get it down, and the corals and fish are not nearly as colorful as in the tank downstairs. I'm not completely positive on this, but I have a feeling that your high temp has something to do with all of the problems you're having...maybe the lack of dissolved oxygen in the water?
I'm no genius, I'm just throwing ideas out there to see if I can help in any way or perhaps turn on some lightbulbs in people's heads. You're a great asset to the club, I would hate to see you give up on your tank, especially since you've been working so hard to get it going well
Now, a word on arguing with an "outsider." There have been a few people that have come into the STL saltwater forums to stir up trouble lately. I'm not saying that Biggie is stirring up trouble, he's trying to help, but it'd probably be best to agree to disagree instead of letting testosterone get the best of us

I like to argue as much as the next person, but with reefkeeping, like so many other things in life, there are many ways of doing things, it just depends on what's correct in the owner's eyes. What's working for Biggie may not work for DrBDC and vice versa, it just depends on the individual's tank. Giving different advice is cool, and sometimes quite helpful...attacking another person's ideas in an inappropriate manner is not. Biggie, DrBDC is known on our forums as being quite knowledgeable about chemistry...he's done his homework and is trying to help just as you are. It's obvious that you two may have different methods, and that is fine, but let's not attack each other's ideas and ways of doing things. We need to focus less on who's right or wrong and more on getting Rena's tank back in order!
