sps doesnt do well in my reef

that's not good at all, and can be why you are not getting success with sps. Have you tested the water you are using for water change? also how much are you doing, and how old is your tank? sounds like it still may be cycling.
 
tank is 4-5 months? 3 gallons (honestly i did kinda slack lately) weeky (i did 3 gallons yesterday and 3 today) and ive been using stuff you buy at grocery store in 1 gallon jugs (says purified by ro on label)
 
What kind of temp swings are you getting. The key to keeping sps is stability. Stable Alk, CA and temp. If your temp is swinging from lets say 79 at night to above 83 during the day then your going to bleach sps. Not to say that you cant keep sps at higher temps because I have seen it done, just a 3 degree swing can cause them to bleach. I dont know alot of people who keep their alk at 12, most are in the 8-10 range. If you were to put sps in your tank at an alk that high you probably will kill them. Just some things to keep in mind.
 
yea alkalinity is better at 8-9 in my opinion, and try not to get the temp over 82 that's usually when corals start having problems.
 
Placement of the coral also has a lot to do with it. If you are placing them too high, then they will bleach. It has been my experience that they brown out when they are too low and they bleach when they are too high. Always start them low in the tank and slowly bring them up. I also think it is easier to get the color back from browning then it is from bleaching, but this is just my own theory. I killed a lot of sps when I started by placing them too high under my t-5s. I don't think light is the issue here. The spectrum of bulbs may be though, and definitely the nitrates at this point.
 
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