superkat
Premium Member
~dedicated to McKibben, because he noticed.
I went out to dinner the other night. I know, that doesn't sound very spectacular, but it happened to be one of my favorite restaurants, and I know the menu by heart, so it was surprising to find enlightenment there...someplace so common and familiar.
First of all, the company with me was completely different from who I usually go out to dinner with. Secondly, the menu had changed. So here I was, sitting and listening to a conversation I felt no connection with and trying to decide from an extremely large and diversified menu that I did not recognize in a place that was heretofore comfortable and inviting. The experience was...well, it was actually a bit unnerving. I tried to engage, and I ordered something that sounded like something that was previously on the menu. Even the glass that the wine came in was different.
I am a firm believer in change. I believe that if you don't create change...change will create you. That is a fact. But gradual change and rapid change are two completely different scenarios. It all depends, I guess, on how connected you are with what is going on around you. The less connected, the more that change is going to smack you in the face. Granted, I have no control over the changes that someone else or someplace else implements, but if I stay on top of it, the less annoying it will be when it's completed.
So, the menu. As I studied it, looking for some sort of recognizable entree, I had a revelation. This once favorite and comfortable place just became foreign to me. In an instant, I no longer felt that this place was my favorite. And I, as I often do, applied that across the board of my life. Sometimes, the dream you dreamed, the hand you held, the road you chose, the very essence of who you thought you were or where your were heading can change in an instant. And you find yourself looking at a menu that you no longer recognize. What I learned is that there was enough change in that environment to make me realize that it was no longer my favorite restaurant, because in reality? It wasn't the same place....at all. So, for one occasion, I chose to stay, have the conversation, eat the food and drink the wine, pay the bill and leave. And as I left the restaurant, and the door closed behind me...there was a sort of release, the "oh thank God that's over" release. The knowledge that I never had to go back in there again was liberating, and moved the number two restaurant to first place. And I thought to myself, why didn't I make that choice when I first realized that everything had changed? Why didn't I chose that liberation above the uneasiness and tension to begin with? Why? Because I believe that everyone and every place deserves to have some time to prove themselves. If they don't, I leave. If they do...then they have my attention...hopefully forever...or as long as I keep myself aware of the changes.
There is someone out there today who finds themselves in an unknown place. And they can do one of two things...change themselves to accommodate their surroundings...or change the surroundings. Each choice has some negative consequences..and must be made carefully. In my case, the surroundings had become so completely alien, that it would take so much more of my valuable time and energy to make myself feel comfortable there. The key to success is self recognition and the ability to tell yourself, "I'm not okay with this." And look to those around you for comfort and support. Change is not easy, it's even more difficult without a "unit" of friends to support you. But if the foundation is set...if your team is behind you, cheering you on, comforting you and encouraging you....it can be a profound experience....if you truly want it.
So today, if you find yourself looking at a "new menu" in your life...you should ask yourself, "do I really want to be here?". The door is open. Stay or leave. Change is important...more important is the ability to implement it.
....oh, and my number one restaurant now? Just changed their menu. So, we shall see.....
Cheers.
kat
I went out to dinner the other night. I know, that doesn't sound very spectacular, but it happened to be one of my favorite restaurants, and I know the menu by heart, so it was surprising to find enlightenment there...someplace so common and familiar.
First of all, the company with me was completely different from who I usually go out to dinner with. Secondly, the menu had changed. So here I was, sitting and listening to a conversation I felt no connection with and trying to decide from an extremely large and diversified menu that I did not recognize in a place that was heretofore comfortable and inviting. The experience was...well, it was actually a bit unnerving. I tried to engage, and I ordered something that sounded like something that was previously on the menu. Even the glass that the wine came in was different.
I am a firm believer in change. I believe that if you don't create change...change will create you. That is a fact. But gradual change and rapid change are two completely different scenarios. It all depends, I guess, on how connected you are with what is going on around you. The less connected, the more that change is going to smack you in the face. Granted, I have no control over the changes that someone else or someplace else implements, but if I stay on top of it, the less annoying it will be when it's completed.
So, the menu. As I studied it, looking for some sort of recognizable entree, I had a revelation. This once favorite and comfortable place just became foreign to me. In an instant, I no longer felt that this place was my favorite. And I, as I often do, applied that across the board of my life. Sometimes, the dream you dreamed, the hand you held, the road you chose, the very essence of who you thought you were or where your were heading can change in an instant. And you find yourself looking at a menu that you no longer recognize. What I learned is that there was enough change in that environment to make me realize that it was no longer my favorite restaurant, because in reality? It wasn't the same place....at all. So, for one occasion, I chose to stay, have the conversation, eat the food and drink the wine, pay the bill and leave. And as I left the restaurant, and the door closed behind me...there was a sort of release, the "oh thank God that's over" release. The knowledge that I never had to go back in there again was liberating, and moved the number two restaurant to first place. And I thought to myself, why didn't I make that choice when I first realized that everything had changed? Why didn't I chose that liberation above the uneasiness and tension to begin with? Why? Because I believe that everyone and every place deserves to have some time to prove themselves. If they don't, I leave. If they do...then they have my attention...hopefully forever...or as long as I keep myself aware of the changes.
There is someone out there today who finds themselves in an unknown place. And they can do one of two things...change themselves to accommodate their surroundings...or change the surroundings. Each choice has some negative consequences..and must be made carefully. In my case, the surroundings had become so completely alien, that it would take so much more of my valuable time and energy to make myself feel comfortable there. The key to success is self recognition and the ability to tell yourself, "I'm not okay with this." And look to those around you for comfort and support. Change is not easy, it's even more difficult without a "unit" of friends to support you. But if the foundation is set...if your team is behind you, cheering you on, comforting you and encouraging you....it can be a profound experience....if you truly want it.
So today, if you find yourself looking at a "new menu" in your life...you should ask yourself, "do I really want to be here?". The door is open. Stay or leave. Change is important...more important is the ability to implement it.
....oh, and my number one restaurant now? Just changed their menu. So, we shall see.....
Cheers.
kat
