Uh-uh. I don't tip. I don't believe in it.
I don't tip because society says I
gotta. I tip when somebody
deserves a tip. When somebody
really puts forth an effort, they
deserve a little something extra.
But this tipping automatically,
that stuff is for the birds. As far
as I'm concerned, they're just
doin their job.
MR. BLUE
Our girl was nice.
MR. PINK
Our girl was okay. She didn't do
anything special.
NICE GUY EDDIE
I'd go over twelve percent for
that.
MR. PINK
Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've
been here a long time, and
she's only filled my cup three
times. When I order coffee, I
want it filled six times.
MR. WHITE
What if she's too busy?
MR. PINK
The words "too busy" shouldn't be
in a waitress's vocabulary.
NICE GUY EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last
thing you need is another cup of
coffee.
They all laugh.
MR. PINK
These ladies aren't starvin to
death. They make minimum wage.
When I worked for minimum wage, I
wasn't lucky enough to have a job
that society deemed tipworthy.
NICE GUY EDDIE
Ahh, now we're getting down to it.
It's not just that he's a cheap
bastard--
MR. ORANGE
--It is that too--
NICE GUY EDDIE
--It is that too. But it's also
he couldn't get a waiter job. You
talk like a ****ed off dishwasher:
MR. BLUE
So you don't care that they're
counting on your tip to live?
Mr. White rubs two of his fingers together.
MR. PINK
Do you know what this is? It's
the world's smallest violin,
playing just for the waitresses.
MR. WHITE
You don't have any idea what
you're talking about. These
people bust their butts. This
is a hard job.
MR. PINK
So's working at McDonald's, but
you don't feel the need to tip
them. They're servin ya food, you
should tip em. But no, society
says tip these guys over here, but
not those guys over there. That's
bull
MR. ORANGE
They work harder than the kids at
McDonald's.
MR. PINK
Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning
fryers.
MR. BROWN
These people are taxed on the tips
they make. When you stiff 'em,
you cost them money.
MR. WHITE
Waitressing is the number one
occupation for female non-college
graduates in this country. It's
the one jab basically any woman
can get, and make a living on.
The reason is because of tips.
MR. PINK
screw all that.
They all laugh.
MR. PINK
Hey, I'm very sorry that the
government taxes their tips.
That's messed up. But that ain't
my fault. it would appear that
waitresses are just one of the
many groups the government screws
in the butt on a regular basis.
You show me a paper says the
government shouldn't do that, I'll
sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll
vote for it. But what I won't do
is play ball. And this non-
college bull you're telling
me, I got two words for that:
"Learn to type." Cause if
you're expecting me to help out
with the rent, you're in for a big
surprise.
MR. ORANGE
He's convinced me. Give me my
dollar back.
Everybody laughs. Joe's comes back to the table.
JOE
Okay ramblers, let's get to
rambling. Wait a minute, who
didn't throw in?
MR. ORANGE
Mr. Pink.
JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Mr. Pink?
(to Mr. Pink)
Why?
MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.
JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't tip?
(to Mr. Pink)
You don't tip? Why?
MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.
JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't believe in it?
(to Mr. White)
You don't believe in it?
MR. ORANGE
Nope.
JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Shut up!
(to Mr. Pink)
Cough up the buck, ya cheap
bastard, I paid for your goddamn
breakfast.
MR. PINK
Because you paid for the
breakfast, I'm gonna tip.
Normally I wouldn't.
JOE
Whatever. Just throw in your
dollar, and let's move.
(to Mr. WHITE)
See what I'm dealing with here.
Infants. I'm dealin with
infants.
I have to say that that little girl that waited the meeting room was awesome!
