A rule of thumb is to put roughly 5X your display volume thru the sump so with a 65gallon display tank, I would shoot for a pump that would deliver 325gph thru the sump after headloss is factored in. There's a headloss calculator on the home page of ReefCentral.
Then you will need additional circulation in the display tank. Your going to want between 20x and 40x Total turnover in the display including the return pump, closed loop system, powerheads, and anything else moving water in the display.
A very rough guideline is to use the following formula
20X total circulation for FOWLR.
30X total circulation for LPS Reef.
40x (+) total circulation for SPS Reef.
Remember that those are only rough guidelines and may serve as a good starting point.
If you already own a return pump that is a little oversized then that is ok. Just install a ball valve between the return pump and the display tank and you can use the ball valve to slow down the water volume thru the sump. You could also tee off of the return line and send some of that extra volume thru a carbon or Phosphate reactor so that you wouldn't need a second smaller pump to run one.