As I recall, Borneman's book is pretty good describing the various agressiveness. It certainly is something one has to learn in time. For example, I have an encrusting gorgonian that is highly aggressive and described to overgrow and kill all in it's path. However, I've learned that my Caulastrea will keep it at bay with long stinging polyps (distinct from the normal feeding polyps). Similarly, my echinopora, can send out these crazy long stinging polyps that you would never imagine could come out of such a delicate, thin coral and that have yet to be beaten.
Now that I think of it, Borneman's book has toxicity levels rated for many species for most genera.
Still, as far as I know, there is no specific text desribing the relative toxicity and aggressiveness of each coral genera (or species) as related to each other. That would be an interesting undertaking to say the least. And perhaps a valuable tool.
Best of luck.