I have stained many cabinets, first strip the items, then wipe down with lacquer thinner, depending on the type of finish, you will be using the stain and then wipe off after a few minutes. it it appears too dark you can wipe off with the thinner. If the color isnt correct, you can either glaze the finish, or mix the stains., on my build thread, I used a 6 step finish to match the cabinets in the kitchen. after it dries then use a poly finish (gloss) if you use multiple coats then you will need to sand between coats.
Do not sand between coats of stain! only between poly coats.
you can call me if you have any questions
925-705-3833
Nicholas