Ok, I have spent a few days reading through all 18 pages of this thread, and I have to post a couple of my own.
1. Phone conversation between our manager and a customer, relayed to me after watching my boss honest to God blow the first snot bubble I have ever actually seen in person as he was laughing after hanging up:
Manager: Thank you for calling (fish store name), how may I help you today?
Customer: Uh, yeah. I think I have a problem...
M: Oh really? What seems to be the matter?
C: Well I was doing a water change and when I leaned over the tank, my Extacy fell out of my pocket and into the water.
M: Did you pull them out immediately?
C: No, I was kinda messed up at the time and so, well... I couldn't really see how to get them out all that well. (why was this guy trying to do a water change on extacy?)
M: Are they out now?
C: Oh yeah, i took them out after I was straight again.
M: How long were they in the aquarium?
C: Maybe 45 mins? I though they would be okay, but now my puffer is just inflating and deflating over and over.
M: Well that is definitely a problem then. Do you have any extra water available? How about a bag of carbon?
C: No.
M: Well why don't you come in and pick up some water and some carbon and we can talk about how to fix your problem.
The guy said ok and hung up. At this point we both figured it was just a really imaginative prank caller and figured no more wold come of it. But, sure enough, ten minutes later in walks in a guy asking for the manager.
C: Yeah, I spoke to you on the phone earlier.
M: Oh, did you call about the puffer?
C: Yeah, so what do I need to do?
M: well how many gallons is your aquarium?
C: 55
M: Well lets just go ahead and fill 11 deltangs o water and have you do a 100 percent water change.
C: Well, I brought the fish in if you want to see him.
We both looked at each other and said, "yeah let's see him." Now, I want to say that I in no way condone exposing fish to illegal scedule three narcotics, but I must admit that I was more than slightly interested in how this fish was handling his high. They guy goes out to the car and come back with a puffer in a 5 gallon bucket full of water. He is inflating and deflating with startling regularity and actually slightly resembled that puffer in the not to be mentioned kids movie when he puffs up and rolls away.
C: Think you can save him?
M: I don't know, he seems to be in pretty rough shape.
C: See what you can do. I have a party to get to, and now that the %&$*&^@ fish took all my stuff, I gotta make a stop. Just keep him.
He walks out.
After three days of daily water changes, some TLC, and some luck, we saved him. He is now in our display FOWLER and is the impromptu store mascot. His name is Jimi Hendricks.
Not really funny, but strange and sad.
2. On a funnier note:
C: I need a tank with a strong lid.
Me: well we have these Nano Cubes over here and they have a full top on them. They have this small feeding door on the front so you don't have to open the top to feed the fish.
C: Do you think a hamburger could fit in there?
Me: I don't think so, why?
C: Well Michael (points to son) likes to feed the fish happy meals when he thinks they are hungry.
Doh!
3. We had a lady shop with us for almost a year, occasionally buying a small saltwater fish here and there and some food. She also bought a few fake decorations and salt. Her water always checked out perfectly when we tested it for her. When an associate would ask her about her tank, she would always respond, I'm not too sure how big it is, I guess about 50 gallons maybe?
One day, I ask her about water changes as I like to do when bagging stuff up, just to make sure people are doing maintenance correctly. When I mention a syphon and I tell her how it works, she says "oh, I don't need one of those!" I ask her why, and she has been keeping fish in her bathtub! All she has to do is unstop the drain.
We debated around the store for a while if this was ok, but as she claims to have only ever lost 1 damsel, and her water checks out perfect, more power to her.
