If you have an established one its probably a female, If you add a juvi it will be male and you'll probably be alright. They all start off male. Let me know if Im telling you a bunch of stuff you already know.
Most likely it will depending on how long they've had it. Im not really sure how long it takes for them to change. The females get larger than the males though, if that helps.
I have mixed pairs in both the 180 and the 90. I had no special way of adding them just put them in the tanks when I adopted them. I did however have to remove one from the 90 as it was getting picked on. In the 180 I have a pair of black misbar's and a single perc, they do not like each other but they are not stressing each other out. I have had them together for well over a year. In the 90 I have 1 black misbar and 1 perc living together in happines for 2 months. Maybe I am just lucky
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