I've used Elements, Photoshop and Lightroom. Lightroom is designed for photography and has the best workflow, in my opinion.
I share your goal of accurate color reproduction and agree RAW mode is the way to go. The key is to set the color temperature / white balance appropriately during post processing. Generally that is as easy as moving a slider until things look like you see in your tank. Way less fuss and hassle than custom white balances.
Ideally, your monitor should be calibrated, so it is representing colors as well as it can, which will help you to make your adjustments. Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing or ensuring that the viewer of your images is using a properly calibrated display. While that pretty much blows, you can at least be confident that your images are produced with appropriate levels of color and brightness.