Need some advice, especially from MaxxII
- Thread starter Chelsey
- Start date
zt444a
New member
She did say the child was 3 or 4 and at that age, scared S*&Tless definately, resourceful, maybe not so much. Doubt the child was banging on the wall out of resourcefulness. More likely it was either boredom or just plain trying to get attention from two people that completely ignore him except when they need someone to blame life's troubles on...
bkh24
Member
Maybe she is not angry with someone in her duplex but instead is actually throwing things at you for letting FARMER in the neighborhood. I could see here frustration with that. JK. That is a tough situation. Some people are just yellers. If she is hitting a 3-4 year old hard enough for you to hear it though, I would probably notify the police or DFS.No easy solution though.
Reggae Fish
Premium Member
This is not a joke. Call the cops. You're talking about kids!
I don't know what else more to say. Steve's right though. Landlord means nothing. Cops, dfs, cops, dfs
If you're that concerned about your wellbeing, prepare yourself.
However, as I said, there are kids!
I don't know what else more to say. Steve's right though. Landlord means nothing. Cops, dfs, cops, dfs
If you're that concerned about your wellbeing, prepare yourself.
However, as I said, there are kids!
I really wasn't clear.
I agree with you on the resourcefulness comment. Little kids don't have the ability to process some situations they unfortunately find themselves in. I've seen kids bite, I've seen them throw tantrums, I've seen them throw things, scream, etc. Banging on a wall doesn't seem too far from that IMO.
All of the above are a call for help even though the child cannot mentally explain what they need. They need adults to figure out their needs and fix it for them.
Reggae Fish
Premium Member
I know I said I didn't know what else more to say but after rereading replies, I had to say a bit more.
I think clark has the right idea. There is kids involved. If this was just adults, I would say, figure it out.
However, you would not be posting if you weren't truly worried.
However, that's not the case
Howie- Call the cops. Chelsey doesn't need to step in there.
Rena- Agreed- Kids first
Steve- Agreed- Call the cops
From a renters standpoint. I don't care. It's ALMOST a moot point. After calling the cops, etc...speak with the landlord and I'm sure they'll accomodate.
Kathy- Yep
Chelsey- Who cares if she knows it's you. I know you're scared but...
Nanook- I don't think she'd be posting on RC if it was a normal or isolated incident
Chad- Don't know if the kid was there but either you or a cop should have been there. If it was just the adults a polite visit may have been appropriate or even letting it slide altogether. But if a kid was there like that...
Clark- I'm with you. Better safe than sorry.
Rena- If I could hear a child, I would either call the cops or approach them with serious caution. (properly prepared) Trying to talk to the guy could get you the same result. They may both be crazy. No one knows.
My overall response it take care of what you know you need to do. Also take care of yourselves and by all means nec.
I think clark has the right idea. There is kids involved. If this was just adults, I would say, figure it out.
However, you would not be posting if you weren't truly worried.
However, that's not the case
Howie- Call the cops. Chelsey doesn't need to step in there.
Rena- Agreed- Kids first
Steve- Agreed- Call the cops
From a renters standpoint. I don't care. It's ALMOST a moot point. After calling the cops, etc...speak with the landlord and I'm sure they'll accomodate.
Kathy- Yep
Chelsey- Who cares if she knows it's you. I know you're scared but...
Nanook- I don't think she'd be posting on RC if it was a normal or isolated incident
Chad- Don't know if the kid was there but either you or a cop should have been there. If it was just the adults a polite visit may have been appropriate or even letting it slide altogether. But if a kid was there like that...
Clark- I'm with you. Better safe than sorry.
Rena- If I could hear a child, I would either call the cops or approach them with serious caution. (properly prepared) Trying to talk to the guy could get you the same result. They may both be crazy. No one knows.
My overall response it take care of what you know you need to do. Also take care of yourselves and by all means nec.
StupidsReef
Premium Member
Re: Need some advice, especially from MaxxII
Read it for what it is ^^^^^
Chelsey, I bet that little girl is thinking the very same thing.
"please remember that I'm a INNOCENT LITTLE girl".
My son is 4 I'd go to prison for life if my wife ever smacked my son so hard I could hear it through a wall, any wall. Theirs a huge differences between correcting (a swat on the bottom or a smack on the hand) and abuse. Try watching "Nanny 911". I'm not saying that you can't spank your child, I do and have given my son a swat or two in the past, but never so loud to hear it in the next room with open doors let alone a wall!
If you are so scared of what this woman would do to you, what do U think she can and will do this this little girl?? And you are an Adult. A force to be reckon with?? That's scary & sad.
Read it for what it is ^^^^^
Chelsey, I bet that little girl is thinking the very same thing.
"please remember that I'm a INNOCENT LITTLE girl".
My son is 4 I'd go to prison for life if my wife ever smacked my son so hard I could hear it through a wall, any wall. Theirs a huge differences between correcting (a swat on the bottom or a smack on the hand) and abuse. Try watching "Nanny 911". I'm not saying that you can't spank your child, I do and have given my son a swat or two in the past, but never so loud to hear it in the next room with open doors let alone a wall!
If you are so scared of what this woman would do to you, what do U think she can and will do this this little girl?? And you are an Adult. A force to be reckon with?? That's scary & sad.
zt444a
New member
I mentioned what I said (talk to them about being a bit more quiet) because you cannot be fully aware of what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe their family dynamic is just different. I know my wife and I argue, and at times it might seem extreme to some, but we never do hit anybody.
Let's not convict anyone here yet. If they are giulty of any sort of abuse, then of course straight to hell with them, but right now it is just loud neighbors.
Unless you are afraid of them, and only Chelsey and possibly Chad know how the neighbors really are, I'd ask them to please try and be a bit more quiet. If that doesn't work then the police and the landlord. If you suspect child abuse, DFS and the cops. Better safe than sorry in that sort of situation any day.
By asking her neighbors to be a little quieter, I don't think Chelsey is "stepping in" anything, just trying to be a decent neighbor. If she doesn't feel safe at all doing that, then by all means call the cops. She lives alone and her safety is paramount.
Chelsey if you call or say anything, it would behoove you to have your renter's insurance and your auto insurance paid up. Problem is most policies don't cover things like broken windows and flat tires.
Be safe please....
Let's not convict anyone here yet. If they are giulty of any sort of abuse, then of course straight to hell with them, but right now it is just loud neighbors.
Unless you are afraid of them, and only Chelsey and possibly Chad know how the neighbors really are, I'd ask them to please try and be a bit more quiet. If that doesn't work then the police and the landlord. If you suspect child abuse, DFS and the cops. Better safe than sorry in that sort of situation any day.
By asking her neighbors to be a little quieter, I don't think Chelsey is "stepping in" anything, just trying to be a decent neighbor. If she doesn't feel safe at all doing that, then by all means call the cops. She lives alone and her safety is paramount.
Chelsey if you call or say anything, it would behoove you to have your renter's insurance and your auto insurance paid up. Problem is most policies don't cover things like broken windows and flat tires.
Be safe please....
Lost His Marbles Name
In Memoriam
Buy a gun, call the landlord, call cops. If they come over to complain shoot them in your self defence. There will be a prexisting condition that was noted by the cops anyway. Dead people can't sue you.
Sorry, I have a different outlook but you will feel saffer with a gun. They tend to stop mostly anything but some big bears.
Sorry, I have a different outlook but you will feel saffer with a gun. They tend to stop mostly anything but some big bears.
scbadiver
New member
Chelsey, I have similar situation across the street from me. My advice, look for a new place. We, my other nieghbors and I, have called DFS, cops and the landlord NUMEROUS times. It realy does no good. DFS is all but worthless unless there is a dead body. (this is based on this situation and personal experience in the past!) The cops have little they can or will actually do. My best freind is a copper and he would tell you, they hate "domestics" and they can't do a lot about them in the long term. I would definately call DFS, cops and landlord for the childs sake. At least you did what you could, and move. Just being honest here folks. It's a no win situation for Chelsey and the little girl.
Fade
New member
<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=9239288#post9239288 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Lost Marbles
Buy a gun, call the landlord, call cops. If they come over to complain shoot them in your self defence. There will be a prexisting condition that was noted by the cops anyway. Dead people can't sue you.
Sorry, I have a different outlook but you will feel saffer with a gun. They tend to stop mostly anything but some big bears.
Sounds to me Dave that you need a bigger gun.:uzi:
ncox38
New member
I know someone that works for the St. Charles County DFS, and he works his @ss off. To say they are "worthless", without seeing the cr@p they have to deal with everyday is ignorant (definition: not aware, uninformed). Someone hitting a kid is only the tip of the iceberg, as far as what DFS workers have to deal with. I could tell you stories that would make you physically sick. The fact of the matter is that DFS can't do anything but file reports and make recommendations. The police or medical doctors are the only ones who can take kids away from their parents/ gaurdians. DFS then finds a foster home for them.
I am new to RC and am not trying to tick anyone off, but this struck a nerve. I have seen what working for DFS does to a person. It ruins their spirit, leads to depression, and an overall change of their look at life. To call them worthless, IMO, is unwarranted and disrespectful. These people deal with the scum of society for horrible pay and the have to deal with the fact that they aren't changing anything.
Thats my 2 cents, sorry.
And he is constantly looking for a different job.
I am new to RC and am not trying to tick anyone off, but this struck a nerve. I have seen what working for DFS does to a person. It ruins their spirit, leads to depression, and an overall change of their look at life. To call them worthless, IMO, is unwarranted and disrespectful. These people deal with the scum of society for horrible pay and the have to deal with the fact that they aren't changing anything.
Thats my 2 cents, sorry.
And he is constantly looking for a different job.
I'm not speaking for Robbie but I suspect that he was frustrated that DFS couldn't help in his particular situation and used a word that expressed that frustration.
I also suspect, that your friend is equally frustrated for the exact same reason. Like you said, all they can do is file reports and make recommendations. I can't imagine wanting to help a kid and then get held up by legal red tape.....I think I would go insane.
I just wanted to make sure that everyone understands everyone else so there's no hurt feelings.
I also suspect, that your friend is equally frustrated for the exact same reason. Like you said, all they can do is file reports and make recommendations. I can't imagine wanting to help a kid and then get held up by legal red tape.....I think I would go insane.
I just wanted to make sure that everyone understands everyone else so there's no hurt feelings.
scbadiver
New member
I'll preface this with, My feelings are not hurt! I think when it comes to this topic I've lost all feelings so they can't be hurt anymore! 
I was afraid that my comment may upset the fruit car tbut honestly. I'll stand by my statement. No reflection on your buddy, he as a job and boss and bills like the rest of us. DFS is an all but worthless assembling of out tax dollars because of exactly what you said. Thet cannot, or will not do anything to in a bad situation. I'll air a little family laundry here. My son has a verbally and very physically abusive mother, my lovely xwife. For about the last 12 years of his 14 year life I have fought with DFS, the courts and her. He has been beaten and bruised by her several times and and other me, and my freinds, nobody in "the system" really gives a dam
. I spent over $15k trying to get him away from here to no avail. On more than one occasion I have called DFS and they flat out tell me call the cops, thay can't help. OK, I'll go with that. So what do they do? they supposedly handle family support payments albiet not well. I fought with them for over a year about them intecepting my tax refund for back child support, thought it was straight until the next year. guess what? they took a second tax refund check! All this time my support was, (and always has been!) current. I took off several days of work. wrote letters. visted my case worker personally and got oh yeah, NOWHERE. I finally ended up contacting the the Governers office and speaking with Mel Carnahan before I could get my account straight and get me money back. Jump ahead a few years. I now, Finally, have full custody of my kid. Thank God, he was the only one that possibly could have helped here LOL. So, I contact my case worker, explain the deal, write the letters, jump the hoops, etc etc and now they still say I'm behind on child support. I have now secured my attorney to handle it. That will cost me quite a bit for something that DFS can and should handle. So, yeah, I'm a little jaded on the whole system. This was not a personal attack on your freind or anybody in particular. Just a crappy system that never seems to get better. Sorry for the rant, I apparently DO have strong feelings on this huh? Peace and now back to regular reef programming......
I was afraid that my comment may upset the fruit car tbut honestly. I'll stand by my statement. No reflection on your buddy, he as a job and boss and bills like the rest of us. DFS is an all but worthless assembling of out tax dollars because of exactly what you said. Thet cannot, or will not do anything to in a bad situation. I'll air a little family laundry here. My son has a verbally and very physically abusive mother, my lovely xwife. For about the last 12 years of his 14 year life I have fought with DFS, the courts and her. He has been beaten and bruised by her several times and and other me, and my freinds, nobody in "the system" really gives a dam. I spent over $15k trying to get him away from here to no avail. On more than one occasion I have called DFS and they flat out tell me call the cops, thay can't help. OK, I'll go with that. So what do they do? they supposedly handle family support payments albiet not well. I fought with them for over a year about them intecepting my tax refund for back child support, thought it was straight until the next year. guess what? they took a second tax refund check! All this time my support was, (and always has been!) current. I took off several days of work. wrote letters. visted my case worker personally and got oh yeah, NOWHERE. I finally ended up contacting the the Governers office and speaking with Mel Carnahan before I could get my account straight and get me money back. Jump ahead a few years. I now, Finally, have full custody of my kid. Thank God, he was the only one that possibly could have helped here LOL. So, I contact my case worker, explain the deal, write the letters, jump the hoops, etc etc and now they still say I'm behind on child support. I have now secured my attorney to handle it. That will cost me quite a bit for something that DFS can and should handle. So, yeah, I'm a little jaded on the whole system. This was not a personal attack on your freind or anybody in particular. Just a crappy system that never seems to get better. Sorry for the rant, I apparently DO have strong feelings on this huh? Peace and now back to regular reef programming......
ncox38
New member
Sorry, I know he didn't mean anything personal. Don't hate the player, hate the game. The system is a joke. Unless the are signs of physical abuse nothing will happen, unless there is a credible witness. Otherwise, its just he said, she said. People abuse the system to try to get the upper hand in custody battles and it gets to the point where it makes it hard for the workers to believe anyone unless there is proof.
There are no hard feelings, I just blew up. I wish this thing had a waiting period before it lets you post. Just like you have to wait to buy a handgun....Sorry everyone.
There are no hard feelings, I just blew up. I wish this thing had a waiting period before it lets you post. Just like you have to wait to buy a handgun....Sorry everyone.
DrBDC
Active member
You are all too nice, it will never fix it. I think a few guys need to walk over, knock on the door and tell them that if they ever hear that child being hit like that again, they'll beat them to a pulp. Then finish by reminding them that if they call to press charges for assault, they'll get a beating from someone else as well as go to jail for child abuse. Then if the cops do question the anyone in the goon squad, just ask them who they believe, a child abuser or them.
