Hi guys,
When you set up your reactor, you need to rinse the media (Phosban, Rowaphos, Pura Phoslock, Silphos, etc). What I do is hook it up to my tank, and put the output tubing in a bucket near my tank. Let it push out the red / rust-colored liquid into the bucket. Once it is clear, and the water in the reactor is clear, it is safe to put the tubing in your tank or sump. Replace whatever water drained out with new saltwater. Think of it as a mini-water change.
To dial in the flow, take a sample of the effluent (the water coming out of the reactor). Test it for phosphates. It should read 0. If it is anything higher than 0, you need to decrease the flow, and test it again.
The media's life will vary based on your tank. Test the effluent weekly. Once you see the phosphate appear in the effluent, the media is consumed and needs to be replaced.
When it comes to filling up the reactor, I put a wooden fork (or spoon) in the center tube, and use a canning funnel to keep the media from pouring everywhere.
Your goal is 0 phosphate in the output. Don't worry about how the water flows through the reactor nor how the media moves in the reactor. According to TLF, you no longer want the media tumbling.
The reactor may remove phosphate for 30 days in some tanks, and 90 days in another. I have two reactors on my 280g reef, even though one could do the job. Each reactor has about 1" of media in it. I have a third reactor solely to run carbon actively in the reef.
Let me know if you have any more questions.