Anyone tired of people that "just don't get it"?

[Cdodge1]

Hard to explain things to people who don't get it... Kinda like the guy who buys a Ferrari and has the Chevy guy talking about wasted money... He just doesn't get it

Good point

That's part of having a hobby that is not mainstream. Most people are not going to get it. I collect fossils. I get all sorts of smart arse comments. Who cares, I enjoy it. That's what matters. Same with reef-keeping. I stopped trying to educate people a long time ago. (Except for my job, I teach psychology).

"Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig." Lazarus Long

Awesome quote. I know it's not for everyone, and I get plenty of smart a** comments from my friends about my tank.

I rarely get that! It's almost always a jaw dropping, holy cow kind of reaction. But I'm old and so are my friends and acquaintances. Nothing like the wisdom gained with age.

Ah, I wish I had more friends like that haha!

I understand, I get all kinds of crap from my in-laws about my tanks. the money, time, you can't travel, ect. I generally have a snappy response about their expensive hobbies. Some people can only see their point of view. Everyone has a hobby, most good, some not so good, I mean, you could be doing something a lot worse than reefing.

I'm sorry you go through it but I'm glad I'm not the only one going through a similar experience.. and indeed, there are a lot worse things than reefing!

 

[Cdodge1]

People don't really understand why I spend so much on reefing, but they don't have to...

Haters gonna hate. I've never had a negative comment on my tank. At worst they ignore it, at best they are glued to it asking questions. The only one that hated it was my ex wife. haha.

That's true! hahaha I see why she became your "ex" wife lol.

If you personally like/love your reefing hobby then that is all that matters...Sometimes theres too much "Grade School Economics" some so called adults play..
Life is too short to listen let alone be bothered by negative people..
My wife loves the reef hobby/tank as much as I do,,, now your talking about something really deadly,,,LOLOL
Just not the maintinance part though..

Amazing to share something that you love with a person you love

Life is short. Do what you love. Just try to do whatever you love as well as you can. (I have been doing aquaria for over 50 years)

This is probably one of the most profound statements I've heard in a while. Thank you for the encouragement, fellow reefer.

 

[Sk8r]

Sometimes people attempt to open a conversation with the skill of a bulldozer. These mean well. Others are trying to score a point. These don't. You may have some of each. Try to talk to the ones who WILL listen, and clear your social dance card of the ones who won't. You don't have to be enemies of the 'don't's,' but just let it be a social sorting device.

 

[jrp1588]

That's true! hahaha I see why she became your "ex" wife lol.

Haha, a minor reason among a myriad of others. She hated any spending that wasn't on her. She hated my car hobby even more. My new girlfriend likes the tank. She likes my car hobby even more. Haha

 

[Cdodge1]

The most annoying comments are those about people wanting to eat my large FW angelfish or my fresh and saltwater shrimp :/

ಠ__ಠ

Hey, you should add a treasure chest with bubble going up from it!
And why are Nemo and Doris fighting??? It just doesn't make any sense!

Keep on doing what you love. Ignore the ones that don't get it. Share your passion with the ones that do.

Almost verbatim conversation with every lady friend I've shown my tank to save 1 or 2...

 

[mfaso24]

College students suck man (the majority of them at least). I just graduated last May and they're all just self centered and obnoxious. (When I say all I don't really mean all). My point is, I feel like after school you'll start to meet people who are more mature and may not have the same appreciation for your hobby, but they they most Likely won't bash it either (with the exception of close family friends that do it in a joking manner)

 

[mpderksen]

If I understand your first post, you're in the middle of a build, right? When I built a 1967 jeep I got similar reactions, even from close friends, "you spent HOW much on that pile of #%^!?!?!?!" But when it was done, everyone had a different reaction. My guess is that, once you've got it looking as it currently is in your mind, and the time investment tapers off, things may change. Or not. Doesn't really make your roommates anything other than lacking in tact. Your time, your money, nuf said, right?
If you want some positive feedback, everyone here would LOVE if you would share pictures along your journey. The good, the bad, even the boring (ever seen pictures when someone gets a new skimmer and posts a picture of the BOX?). Hook up with a local club. Learn a lot and enjoy it.

 

[mfaso24]

If I understand your first post, you're in the middle of a build, right? When I built a 1967 jeep I got similar reactions, even from close friends, "you spent HOW much on that pile of #%^!?!?!?!" But when it was done, everyone had a different reaction. My guess is that, once you've got it looking as it currently is in your mind, and the time investment tapers off, things may change. Or not. Doesn't really make your roommates anything other than lacking in tact. Your time, your money, nuf said, right?
If you want some positive feedback, everyone here would LOVE if you would share pictures along your journey. The good, the bad, even the boring (ever seen pictures when someone gets a new skimmer and posts a picture of the BOX?). Hook up with a local club. Learn a lot and enjoy it.

I actually really agree with that. I forgot you were in the middle of a build.

 

[DaveMorris]

When I had my 300g tank running in my living room I had everyone that walked into the house, including fellow reefers, stand and look in awe at it. Not because it was some spectacular example of a reef tank as much as it was just plain huge. I do feel it was a very nice display but I have certainly seen much nicer. Still, an 8' long 30" tall tank is quite a conversation piece.

Why do I say all of this? Simple, just get yourself a ginormous tank and that will get them to be too busy admiring it to complain or tease you about it.

 

[igot2gats]

I just have to say that I don't know how you college peeps do it.
More power to ya!

COLLEGE?! LOL. You have more time, and money in College, than people like us with real jobs, kids, other pets, etc. College peeps don't have real world bills yet. I wish I would've started this back then....I think it's a great idea.

Agreed with above. There's haters for whatever anyone does. People love to hate, because they love to get a rise out of people. Period, end of story.

Keep reefing as it keeps you happy, and don't worry about the haters.

The best advice to haters is: ignore them. If you ignore them, they're talking to a wall, and will eventually stop.

Kill 'em with kindness, is what I say.

 

[FraggledRock]

no matter what you're into, you're always going to find people who disagree, find no worth or just don't understand the point of it.

do what you love, and forget everyone else.

Most people tease when they aren't able to comprehend and try to diminish other peoples spirits. its called bullying...

 

[Willistein]

Kinda strange - I started reefing in college and never had anybody give me negative comments. I learned about reefing from a guy who had just set up a 90 gallon and all he had in it was live rock and a couple fish, and I would sit and stare at all the little life crawling around. I had 1000 questions about it, and he would laugh and say don't get hooked, it's friggin expensive. Well, of course, I was hooked.

If your friends make stupid comments, maybe you need to evaluate who your friends are...

Imagine if some of the amazing people in history had simply listened to advice to be more normal.

 

[woodnaquanut]

If your friends make stupid comments, maybe you need to evaluate who your friends are...

+1

Almost exactly what I was going to say. Get new friends!

Join a fish club.

 

[lespaul339]

My dad is the worst at giving me crap about my tank. And let me state that I'm 32 years old and haven't lived at home since I was 19. He still comments on how I should "save my money", or "look at how much time and money you spend on your hobby". "You could put that money towards something else""¦the list goes on. But when my parents come over to my house they sure like to look at my tank. It's real easy for others to judge the hobby because they just don't get the amount of passion and dedication that goes into keeping a reef tank. And some people just show no interest at all. I have some friends that don't even bat an eye at my tank. To each their own.

I'm just glad my girlfriend is really into my tank and likes the fact that I'm very passionate about it as a hobby. She gets just as much enjoyment out of watching my tank as I do. And she hasn't complained yet about how much time I spend on my tank.

 

[mfaso24]

I'm just glad my girlfriend is really into my tank and likes the fact that I'm very passionate about it as a hobby. She gets just as much enjoyment out of watching my tank as I do. And she hasn't complained yet about how much time I spend on my tank.[/QUOTE]


I actually got my girlfriend interested in tanks. Although she somehow likes planted tanks better than reefs. Well, at least she likes them...she's marriage material! Haha. Looks like we'll be having two tanks in our home.

 

[KafudaFish]

Man I remember playing D&D for 7 hours at a time at a friend's when I was younger. Good times.

When I got my Pittsburgh Steelers bike I could playing an extra 10 minutes and 15 if I put baseball cards in the wheels for extra speed.

Yep 6th grade was a hard school year because of that.


Yep good times indeed.


Who cares what they think.

 

[billdogg]

The earliest I can remember having a fish tank in the house was at about age 3 or 4, so just about 50 years for me too. Marine only for over 25. I even had a tank in the barracks at Ft Leonard Wood when I was stationed there. It would distract my CO from the actual reason why he was there (another inspection). We'd talk fish for a few minutes and then he'd move on to the next room.

Now, everyone who comes over has nice things to say. At Christmas, we spent well over an hour just standing in front of the tank with everybody finding "new" things all the time.

My wife wasn't too interested in the tanks at first, but now is to the point where I can't take her to the LFS, much less a swap meet, because she wants at least one of everything she sees! I expect to start a new build in the near future - my wife wants a 150 of her own for softies and zoanthids, maybe an anemone or 5.

Life really is too short - do what you want with it. I, for one, don't want to be one of the "sure wish I woulda when I coulda" people at the old folks home!!!

 

[Mishri]

My dad is the worst at giving me crap about my tank. And let me state that I'm 32 years old and haven't lived at home since I was 19. He still comments on how I should "save my money", or "look at how much time and money you spend on your hobby". "You could put that money towards something else"…the list goes on. But when my parents come over to my house they sure like to look at my tank. It's real easy for others to judge the hobby because they just don't get the amount of passion and dedication that goes into keeping a reef tank. And some people just show no interest at all. I have some friends that don't even bat an eye at my tank. To each their own.

I'm just glad my girlfriend is really into my tank and likes the fact that I'm very passionate about it as a hobby. She gets just as much enjoyment out of watching my tank as I do. And she hasn't complained yet about how much time I spend on my tank.

My dad was bad about saying "What do you need that for?" "save your money" until I finally bought a house.. Now he doesn't bother me about all of my hobbies..I have most of the expensive hobbies covered, not into boats though... Drag racing, camping/hunting/fishing, home theater, computers, games(magic, warhammer, board games, gambling) reef tanks... is probably the order for how much i've spent on them over the years... Yeah, reef tanks are actually one of my least expensive hobbies.. Although I could move it up the list..... heheh.. only limit to the size of my tank is the size of my budget.... I do have a place in my basement that would make a great concrete tank.. do some sharks...

 

[kurfer]

Mild Rant:
I've been in the hobby for approximately 7-8 years now and the entire time I have had to deal with people that just do not get the reef keeping hobby.

Currently am in college, sharing an apartment with two other roommates and their girlfriends. I am constantly teased and bothered about my aquarium. I'm in the middle of a build and I constantly hear comments such as " oh are you getting a gold fish for that aquarium?", " you spend way too much time on that thing" or "that seems like too much money/ work just for a fish"...

Even from parental figures I hear " don't spend money on that thing" & "save your money for other things"

Well first, It's not a thing, it's a hobby & a passion. Secondly, no one bats an eye at people for spending 7 plus hours a day playing dungeons and dragons (in the case of my roommates), yet my hobby is viewed as too expensive and time consuming. It is this way with anyone that see's my aquarium.

I love explaining every aspect of reef keeping, and I even use laymen terms when explaining so as not to confuse people. However no one see's the massive rewards and gratification received from having a healthy reef. Then after explaining all that I love about reef keeping, I get nonsensical questions or comments to the effect of: "You should put a sunken ship decoration in there" or"...wait, those corals are real??". It drives me nuts sometimes.

There has to be other aquarists that deal with this on a regular basis...

I guess I'm just glad I have this awesome community that does understand how awesome this hobby is...it's just a shame others aren't so easily convinced.

-Chris

You could always take my approach and blast them with such a sudden and hateful comment they will no longer send subtle jabs your way...

The last random person that told me "They would never waste money on a fish tank" just respond with a "You can't waste money you don't have, and you're not smart enough to handle it anyway" response.

 

[coralsnaked]

I enjoy doing something my friends can't do HA Like Chemistry, Biology, Mechanical Engineering, Arts and Crafts, Architecture and a whole array of other skills it takes to run a reef tank.