ATTN: LFS employees

[phish guy]

i had a good one today. im scrubbing algae in tank.

Lady: wheres your copy machine?
me: we dont have one
lady: What? why not?
me: we dont really need one i guess.
lady: i thought you had ones for customers to use.
me: are you looking for staples ma'am?
she looks around "o my " and walks out.

granted we are next door to staples but she walked right by our display tanks, to me in the center of our aquatics section, surrounded by fish.

 

[ccorpse27]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=12399516#post12399516 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by widmer
It's ironic, this whole thread is based on peoples' misconceptions. Ecstasy is nowhere near being a narcotic, let alone a "schedule fill-in-the-blank narcotic". If you have a schedule II and schedule III narcotic, do you know which one is more heavily controlled? Anyways, narcotics are opiate derivatives, ecstasy is a synthetic variant of methamphetamine and its (psychological) effects are nothing like any of a narcotics' effects which btw it sounds like you are implying are like marijuana's effects. Moral of the story: no matter the subject, there's always someone out there who might think you sound like you're talking out of your a....I'm a biology bs w/ chem & biochem minors, researching drug delivery systems and working in hospital inpatient pharmacy and you just wandered into my LFS btw... Lol I don't mean to sound so hardcore, but it is indeed all relative.

That was an entertaining story though, peace.

Man if all that's true... nice pwnage!

 

[Slakker]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=12247028#post12247028 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by mcbaes72

(Recently)

1) I currently have an 8 yr old false perc, I asked the LFS if it's okay to add another clownfish in there. He told me my older perc would most likely injure or kill the new clownfish since "she" has been alone for so long. Glad I asked.

Clownfish DO turn female after being alone for a while. They ARE capable and do kill new additions if proper care isn't taken when attempting to pair them.

You got excellent advice from your LFS. At least one of you did some research on your pet

 

[D to the P]

Ultra mega internet burn. Slakker: You are winner of Internets. You are the internet burn master.

More importantly you're correct.

 

[A.T.T.R]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=12599939#post12599939 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by D to the P
Oh god, I've been there. One lady had a betta with dropsy. I asked her what it looked like and she said a pine cone and I said, well it's kinda too late for the betta. Medications for dropsy aren't really effective unless you catch it early. I showed her the medications it would take, which cost about 8 dollars, and told her she could buy 2 new bettas for the price of the medications (not that she should buy two obviously they shouldn't be put together). She says well I have to try, and she buys they meds. Betta was dead the next day.

is that really bad?

hey guess what

my kid is sick..
ehh screw it i can make a new one for free and its fun



hmmmm i dont think some one should work at a lfs



now she has the meds atleast and cna treat early if it happens again

 

[widmer]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=12602341#post12602341 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by ccorpse27
Man if all that's true... nice pwnage!

Between my highschool days and pursuit of a career in pharmacy, I'm always so surprised at peoples' (lack of) comprehension when it comes to drugs illegal and otherwise. I guess that's how it is for many people with their own respective interest vs the uninterested general public, hence the purpose of this thread.

 

[D to the P]

Well a fish isn't exactly the fruit of someone's loins. But if you want to treat your kids like your pet $3 fish than go for it :rolleye1:
Why would I lie to the lady and make her buy stuff that isn't going to work? :lol:

 

[tkeracer619]

Me and a buddy go to the local petco for laughs... there is an older couple looking at a clownfish. I tell them that all the fish in the tanks have diseases and since their current fish are healthy I tell them they should skip purchasing the fish.... She says "I just love nemo, do you have a nemo fish?"

My buddy replies "Yes he has a 150 gallon tank with several clowns and about 4 RBTA anemones."

She perks up and gets very excited says "I love anemones, I have one myself. There are all sorts of things going on in my tank and I would love to have a clown for my anemone."

I ask her what lighting she has and if the nem moves around a lot. Her reply was pretty mind boggling..... "Oh, no, how would it move... it's taped to the back... and I have a single fluorescent bulb, thats enough right" She wants a clown to host her background.. :lol: .. doesn't end there. LOL, the petco guy goes over to the t8 light bulbs and picks on that says "reef". Comes back and looks at me with the comment "This is a great bulb for anemones" Apparently taping nems is common at petco :lol:

I say, "Clowns won't host a picture, you will need a real anemone and bright lights not these regular ones"

Her husband talks for the first time, kind of mumbly "I baught a tank like that from some guy a few years ago but she (looking at his wife) didn't bond with it and made me get this smaller tank." His wife smiles and says "Yeah I don't know why I just didn't bond with it"

At that point we decided things were getting to weird, and we walked away. As she baught the clown with ich and fin rot.

 

[reefnut2790]

Well not fish related but stupid people related! I have been in the car business for around 6 years now. A few years back I am showing a couple a car. After disscussing the equipment on the vehicle the customer asked to take a test drive. No problem I say, I just need to make a copy of your Drivers License. At this the customer looks at me like I am nuts. "I am not letting you take a copy of my DL. You guys are going to put me under surveillance." he says. Trying not to loose it I let him know it is company policy that we must make a copy. He goes nuts asking for my boss. Well I have been at this dealer for almost 2 years with the same managers so I run up front and fill my manager in. We both walk out to the customer and my manager once again tells him that we must have a copy of his DL to let him drive. Well at this point he tells his wife that they are leaving. Gets in his car and starts cussing me and my manager out from his window calling us communists and peels off. The whole time his wife is shaking her head like she has seen him do this before lol. You think Pet shops are bad lol car lots are hilarious. Thank god im not selling live creatures to some of these people. lol

 

[whatcaneyedo]

This thread is horrifying... I could never work in a LFS. I'd snap and go postal the first week.

 

[D to the P]

Happened to my friend at work today:
My pH is 8.2 and I keep trying to get it down to 7 but it never works out. What should I do?

Oh, and uh... yeah it was a salt water tank.

 

[A.T.T.R]

lady on somthing brings her two kids to the store 2 times a week to hold random things.. ( we never let her anymore.. she NEVER buys anyhting bsides 10 crickets ) and waste about 3 hours sometimes..

well she always ask if her kid can hold the nile monitor... awnser NO he is mean and will bite

her response " but my kid has a gift with animals" .... no no your 6 year old does not lmao

 

[m.gumbert]

One time we had a bunch of guys that came in from the exotic club next door. Well, they explain to us that is has been a tradition that they come and buy a goldfish for the guy getting married so he could eat it. So, they pick out a little oscar and I was like you're not going to eat this are you? And the anwser was yea. So I directed them over to the feeder tank. Don't ya know they go right out into the parking lot and the guy swallows it! They must have had a crowd of fifteen people standing around them. I thought there was a fight in the parking lot there were so many people watching!

 

[m.gumbert]

We also always seem to get Direct Tv phone calls. This lady calls like 5 time in 10 min. Our number is the same except ours starts with 888 and thiers starts with 800. The last time I picked up the phone and had to explain to her slowley that we don't sell tuners and you have to dial 800 instead of 888.

 

[greatXss]

wow...some very entertaining stories here!

I dont work at a LFS, but im in all of em a couple times a week so i see lots of this sorta stuff while browsing...I thought about applying at one of them after what happened yesterday. They were (not just one employee) trying to sell this woman two fancy goldfish....and an African chiclid. said they would all do great together and that the chiclid would stay its size (one inch)

She asked what she needed to remove the chlorine, etc from the water and his response "don't worry, we don't have chlorine in OUR water" pointing to the wall of tanks. When she said, no, MY water at home, he started clumsily pointing at PH up and PH down, saying "these might work" I had enough at that point and pointed to the Prime, and informed everyone about the chiclids.

Come on people! If your going to work there, at least know SOMETHING about fish keeping. This is the same store that i bought 5 neon tetras, 4 of which died at the counter, before i got to pay for them. I only go there for the cheap equipment now...

 

[HummerH3Chick]

A few years ago when i worked for petco (sad but true) a lady asks me if i can order 20 "nemo" fish for her. Kinda scared why anyone would ask for that many I replied yes but why so many? She explained her daughter is having a birthday party and the theme is "Finding Nemo" and she will be giving out clowns as party favors. I was horrified at this point, explained to her that the only way that would work is to buy a full setup for every clownfish. She then asks if she could get a "dory" instead and give them away ( duh also saltwater). After my long explaination she still asks why they cant go into a betta bowl instead. I told her if she really wanted to give away fish then go for a betta instead and she replied no her daughter wants nemo and walked away.

Another store : Phone rings I pick up a woman asks what time do you close, I reply 6pm. She asks how much is admission for a adult and a child, kinda confused if I heard her correctly I say I'm sorry can you repeat that. She asks again and I heard her correct I explain we are a saltwater fish store not a aquarium she hangs up.

Guy comes in and buys a Tang, he comes in a few days later saying how wonderful its doing etc. 2 weeks later comes in with the dead fish in the bag and says he wants a refund I explain our policy is only 24hrs. He is annoyed and bad mouths our store saying all our fish die. Obviously it was a problem with his tank.

2 guys come in to the store asking for the most aggressive fish we have. I show them our aggressive fish and ask how big is your tank, they say we dont have 1 but we will set 1 up. Then they tell me they will be taking bets on who kills the other 1st. I refuse the sale.

A couple comes in and buys a fish ( dont remember what kind) a month later the fish gets ick they say it gave all their fish ick. I explain how to treat ick etc and how its easy to treat. They say 2 weeks later all their fish are dead and want us to replace all the fish that died. We of course refuse because you had the fish for over a month with no problems and even told you how to treat the problem.

Guy asks me if i can order him a Great White or a Sand Tiger Shark, I couldnt help but laugh. I asked if he was kidding he said nope I have a 500g tank. I told him which sharks would do great in his tank and he replied I dont like them very much.

 

[melev]

"I'd like one Great White, to go. Super-sized, please. " :lol:

Great stuff. I've never worked in a LFS, but I've heard a few stories. This one hasn't be recounted on this thread, so here you go:

A guy in our area was going around to various fish stores to steal products. He had a bucket of saltwater in his truck, and would grab things out of the tanks when no-one was looking, walk out to his vehicle and drop it in the bucket. He probably smoked a cigarette or used a cell phone to justify his in-and-out activity. Several store owners had their suspicions when clams and such just vanished.

However, one day an owner noticed when he bent forward that his loose fitting shirt gave her a peek of something she'd not seen before. He had duct tape on his body, so he could grab stuff and stick it to the tape, then walk out. A couple of MH bulbs vanished from the front counter. When one of the owners confronted him about it, he categorically denied taking them. He yelled and stormed out, swearing he'd never be back because he was so offended. 20 minutes later, he burst back in and slammed down some cold hard cash on the counter for those bulbs he never stole.

That LFS owner called a bunch of other stores to put him on the watch list.

 

[brandon7491]

well i work at a lfs in tampa and here are some of the funniest moments. Well a lady walks in looking for some fish, so i show here the fresh water side and then saltwater side. After some time she goes to the gold fish and looks at them and then asks me if i know what fung-shawaaa(dont know how to spell it) is. I say i have heard about it before. Well she starts explaing it and telling me tht she wants 5 black gold fish and 10 normal ones because the black ones will protect you. She goes on for 20minutes and finally takes the darn fish.

Another one is when a group of drunk men came and started looking at the saltwater fish and coral. They seem interested in them despite the fact they are plastard. So the go to the fresh water side and look at the chilchids saying "Dude its a blue tang in there!" One of their buddies was looking at the coral and asking me questions like,"What happens if a ship hits the coral, like can they defend them selves, or swim away?. I tell him no and then he says are they alive? I say yes.

Last week a lady calls in asking if there is a fish that can live outside in a gallon bucket of water,eat mosquito larva, but wont eat any frog eggs. I told her that she realizes that she should just dump the bucket out but she persists that she cant because of the frog eggs. Then i try telling her, no fish is going to live in there because in tampa florida it gets up to 100degrees in the afternoon.Then she asks if i know anyone else and i tell her call my buddies place. An hour later my buddy calls me up and says,"Why,Why would you send her to meeee!" I start laughing and hang up

 

[melev]

ROFL!

 

[reefworm]

I know what you mean. No way I could work at an LFS. So I teach high school instead