ATTN: LFS employees

[jimsta]

Alright I have some stories from servicing tanks and from working in the store.(only sell SW fish)

1. A guy comes in and buys a complete setup, waits for it to cycle and then starts to put fish in. The fish do great so he decides to start putting coral in. Every coral dies that he puts in there. 4 months later he starts talking to a friend of mine thats in the store. Come to find out his chiller was leaking one night so he decided to fix it with some copper pipe.

2. A guy comes in looking for some "tropicals". So I point him in the direction of the fish systems. He leaves with a dottyback. The next day he comes in and says that the fish only lived 12hrs and then died. I told him to bring in his water and have it checked out, he said he took it to another store and they said it was fine. So I gave him a few damsels.He came in the next day with 2 dead fish and a sample. Everything checked out fine until I got to the Specific Gravity. My jaw dropped about as quick as the plastic arm in the hydrometer did.

more to come....

 

[jimsta]

I also had a guy that came in very intoxicated that bought 2 damsels just so he could see me feed them to the Huge lionfish that is kept as a store pet. Easiest customer I ever had to deal with

 

[raskal311]

Here’s another one, I had a guy come in and picked out a few pieces of corals. After bagging he said I’ll be back in a 10 minuets. Well 10-15minuits later he comes back high as hell and spends another $400

 

[HBtank]

But have you ever seen a brain coral.... on weeed?

 

[Aaarrrggg]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10225882#post10225882 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by HBtank
But have you ever seen a brain coral.... on weeed?

Hehehe!
Good reference! :lol:

 

[dwd5813]

red team go! red team go!

 

[reefinmike]

i love when people walk onto a room full of saltwater fish and corals, sees the "nemos" and asks are these all freshwater? that happens to me weekly


me: hello, anything i can help you with today
guy: yes, it seems my fish keep on dieing
me:hows your water test out
guy:havent tested it for a while but last time i did it tested fine
me: how often do you do water changes
guy:about every month i take half the water out, fill it back up with fresh water so you know, its like giving them a freshwater dip, then i dump a bag of salt into the tank
me:rolleye1:

old couple walk in and ask where theyre supposed to sit down... i say what? they said where do we sit down to eat at... i said this is a fish store... not a place to eat


me: hello, do you need help with anything
customer: are all of these corals freshwater?
me: NO!

 

[reefinmike]

another good one, a lady spends like $500 on fish for her 180 which we advise her its not a good idea at all to add that many fish at once. its a newly setup tank so i ask her if she has any food... she said WHAT you have to feed them... i dont want them if you have to feed them

bye!

 

[melev]

 

[on3ofak1nd]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10210095#post10210095 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by nyvp
Heeeereees you sign

Omg I was reading through these hilarious posts and I was thinking that the whole time... I'm sad someone beat me to it! lol

I have a small story kind of similar to some of the LFS experiences.

I have friends over frequently, not long ago one guy was telling me how cool everything was and how he wanted a saltwater tank but it was "WAY too much work". After he said that he asked me "are all the fish in here saltwater or just the corals?"

I actually took a moment to think about my response but ultimately decided "Yes" was the most appropriate response.

Heres your sign.

 

[Serioussnaps]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10189177#post10189177 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Moonstream
Okay, I am not an employee or anything, but I like to give dumbish people in the LFS edvice.
lady "honey look at that nemo fish, he's stuck!"
kid "poor fish, we should help him"
I look at the lady like she has lost her mind. Smile, "oh that fish is fine, thats his host nem, he lives there"
mom looks at me like I am the one talking (no offense) BS, "oh really"
me "yeah, he is just scared"
mom "oh, honey, the fish is fine"
kid dashes off

I have also had people I am friends with ask me count less times "how long LR lives, and why it is called that"!!!

edvice?????? If you are going to call people dumb in a thread like this you better be on your p's and q's!

 

[honda2sk]

HERES YOUR SIGN?

HEEEREEES YOUR SIGN?

WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS MEAN?

 

[virginiadiver69]

Hobby Experience: 1

WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS MEAN?

1 day, 1 year, 1 minute ?

 

[on3ofak1nd]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10227224#post10227224 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by honda2sk
HERES YOUR SIGN?

HEEEREEES YOUR SIGN?

WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS MEAN?

Not to get OT but its a skit Bill Engvall does...
His most famous routine is "Here's Your Sign" in which he proposes hanging signs on people who are stupid, so others would know not to rely on them for anything and not to sell them anything dangerous. Engvall's criteria for getting signed is asking something stupid or obvious, to which he replies with a sarcastic remark and a "Here's your sign."

Here is an example of one of his skits:

"A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey y'all catch all them fish?" I replied "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign.""

Not the funniest one but the whole routine is pretty good.

 

[kolokefalo]

Customer walks in asking for a cure for "white spots". I sell him a small bottle of "DIP-AWAY". I read him the instructions (1 cap full for a gallon)....you can see where I am going right...

He dosed the whole bottle into the tank. He called back when everything died and when I explained to him, as I told him when I read the instructions, you were supposed to dose it OUTSIDE the tank he says and I will never forget this:

"awwwwww crap...well at least I only had a couple fish. Now lemme ask you one more thing......is there anything to get the orange stain out of the silicone?"

I had to hold the phone away as I almost lost my water at that point.

 

[JJ21]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10226631#post10226631 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by reefinmike
another good one, a lady spends like $500 on fish for her 180 which we advise her its not a good idea at all to add that many fish at once. its a newly setup tank so i ask her if she has any food... she said WHAT you have to feed them... i dont want them if you have to feed them

bye!

what did she expect????

 

[Sarcophyton874]

Alright since this thread is cool, I'll go ahead and add my third story. The only difference is this one has to do with LFS employees farting around while the boss is gone.

So it was a Sunday and for some reason - probably just by extreme coincidence - there was NOBODY in the store while the boss was out to run errands. The only people in the store was me, my close friend, and another older, "more" mature adult :rolleye1: :lol:. We were standing next to a fairly large koi pond and the older employee was just eyeballing this monster of a Plecostomus.

"I bet you I could get him." He said.

"What are you talking about?" I repied.

Before I could even hear a response, he starts taking his shoes and socks off and rolling up his pants. He hops into the pond and starts trying to Steve Irwin this poor fish :lol:. After a few tries, he finally catches the thing. He pulled it out of the water and then my friend and I proceeded to take cell phone pics of it. Too bad I deleted them .

 

[Monti]

After having worked in LFSs for years I can tell you one thing for sure... everyone in America is apparently under the assumption that if you keep a small juvenile "big" fish (ie tang, grouper, or especially an oscar) in a little tank "it will only grow to the size of the tank." I cringed every time I heard those words. It was always spoken with such a matter-of-fact air, like it was just so obviously true. After various forms of explanation as to why this wasn't necessarily the case and that it was cruel, I decided on this one: "Yeah, you can lock up a little kid in a closet for his whole life... slightly starve him to slow down his growth... let his muscles atrophy and get bone deformities... let him wallow in his own waste accumulation... but the little bugger is still gonna grow. He may be a little "funny" or die a premature death, but odds are good that after a few years he's not gonna walk out perfectly closet-sized." Somehow that seemed to finally get the point across. I'd like to find the guy that started the myth and lock HIM in a closet...


Yeah, I guess you could say that question is a pet peeve of mine.

Guy comes in, "My nemo fish died after just a few hours and I want my money back." After some questioning, come to find out that his saltwater tank consisted of a goldfish bowl with a few spoonfuls of table salt. He was really POd that he didn't get a refund.
Most stores offer a guarantee because of people like that guy that states that you have to bring back the dead fish and a water sample in order to get a refund on a dead fish. It felt like one out of three people always brought in their dead fish in a bag of water, and when questioned as to where their water sample for testing was replied "the water I brought the fish back in." Many people had trouble with the idea that having a rotting dead fish in their water sample might screw up the results a bit.

 

[kathainbowen]

I used to work in an LFS in Atlanta, Georgia. It is important to note the weather of late June / early July. Hot. Hot as sin. So hot, it can only be described as "Satan's armpit," especially since it's generally a damp hot. You go outside and are instantly sweating like a pig. But, if you need me to be more accurate about it, I'm talking a daily average low of 80-82.

So, I get a call one day from this woman who, knowing my luck is about to read this and is going to go yell at my old manager. She would call up EVERY day and keep you on the phone for at least 30 minutes or more about stupid stuff. One day, she got me on the phone for an hour asking about starfish before she informed me she never had any intention of going saltwater.

Lady : Do you sell battery operated heaters?

Me : No, but if you're really in a bind, I'm certain you could go to your local Radio Shack or specialty elecronics store and pick up a d/c to a/c 12V converter. Although, with it being so warm out, if you power goes out, I'd be more concerned with the tank overheating. Your best option is to keep the home buttoned up to keep as much cold, air conditioned air in, and, if it takes Georgia Power so long to get the power cut on that your home temp starts to rise pretty high, open all windows and try to keep airflow moving over the tank if possible.

Lady : Oh, I was worried if the power went out my betta bowl would freeze.





..... yes.... you heard that right. "Will it freeze?" In the middle of a heat wave... At that point, I had to take the portable up front to look out the windows and make sure I wasn't missing something. I though that maybe I was having a really high fever and was just convinced it was really hot when it was snowing and blizzarding outside, like in that one episode of the old Twilight Zone.

 

[waverider17]

loving this thread more please!!!!!!!!!!!