Dumb things you've overheard customers say at the LFS
- Thread starter TANGBOY5000
- Start date
Al G Blenny
New member
Aquarium maintanance companies go to your aquarium (home or business) and take care of the tank. I own such a company and some tank don't even need to fed by the owners. We just put automatic feeders on them and check the feeders regularly.
Mr Neutron
Aquarium Cleaner-Upper
Rikko said:
Most will see the price and say 'yeah it's a good book but I'll get it another day', then turn around and try to buy $100 in fish or coral they have no clue about.
"How many koi can I put in my whiskey barrel pond?" For anyone that doesn't know, koi will easily reach 8" in a year, and a whiskey barrel pond is about 35 gallons. Also common is how many koi can I put in a 55 gallon tank.
My favorite is always about water in the bag with fish. "Doesn't it need more water in the bag?" After explaining that they breath oxygen just like humans and water only holds so much oxygen blah blah blah, "Ok, will you put more water in the bag?"
I had one lady come in during lunch and buy 6 cardinal tetras (FW) and ask that I put 5 in one bag and 1 in a bag by itself. Curious as I knew she had a 55 gallon angel tank, I asked why the 1 was by himself... "I like to take one to work with me." :eek1: "You mean you take 5 of them home, put them in the tank, and take the other one back to work with you, then put him in the tank when you get home in the evening?" "Yes" "Don't you think that's cruel to the fish? I mean it's a pretty big world out there to him, and he's only got so much air, the pH will change, and he poops and pees in the water he's living in..." "I've only had a few die."
My favorite is always about water in the bag with fish. "Doesn't it need more water in the bag?" After explaining that they breath oxygen just like humans and water only holds so much oxygen blah blah blah, "Ok, will you put more water in the bag?"
I had one lady come in during lunch and buy 6 cardinal tetras (FW) and ask that I put 5 in one bag and 1 in a bag by itself. Curious as I knew she had a 55 gallon angel tank, I asked why the 1 was by himself... "I like to take one to work with me." :eek1: "You mean you take 5 of them home, put them in the tank, and take the other one back to work with you, then put him in the tank when you get home in the evening?" "Yes" "Don't you think that's cruel to the fish? I mean it's a pretty big world out there to him, and he's only got so much air, the pH will change, and he poops and pees in the water he's living in..." "I've only had a few die."
bboyin4lyf
New member
that just makes me cringe!!!!!!! although seeing a lady walking around work holding a fish in a bag all day would look pretty funny.
Al G Blenny " As we reached THE OCEAN! one girl looks at me and asks " is this salt water?" -- this ones deffinatly winning so far. im still trying to wipe the tears from my eyes
Al G Blenny " As we reached THE OCEAN! one girl looks at me and asks " is this salt water?" -- this ones deffinatly winning so far. im still trying to wipe the tears from my eyes
I can only assume a nemo home is an anenome.
My favorite was a lady who came in to my store and asked me why her clownfish always kept dying after only a couple hours...she blantantly told me that we were scam artists selling unhealthy fish (they were captive bred clowns btw...nice and healthy)...so I probed a bit, how big is your tank, filter, etc...then I asked what type of skimmer she had...she gave me that blank look that any LFS employee knows quite well...so the bells and whistles start going off in my head....so I ask her what her salinity is at...again, blank stare..."you do know that clownfish are saltwater fish right?" Open the flood gates, here come the tears.
I worked at LFS's for 5 years...it's a love hate relationship...you want to choke some customers, but there are a select few that keep you going.
My favorite was a lady who came in to my store and asked me why her clownfish always kept dying after only a couple hours...she blantantly told me that we were scam artists selling unhealthy fish (they were captive bred clowns btw...nice and healthy)...so I probed a bit, how big is your tank, filter, etc...then I asked what type of skimmer she had...she gave me that blank look that any LFS employee knows quite well...so the bells and whistles start going off in my head....so I ask her what her salinity is at...again, blank stare..."you do know that clownfish are saltwater fish right?" Open the flood gates, here come the tears.
I worked at LFS's for 5 years...it's a love hate relationship...you want to choke some customers, but there are a select few that keep you going.
bswedenburg
New member
6.5 billion friggin' idiots and counting...
somedays i'm so embarrassed to be human...
sigh.
somedays i'm so embarrassed to be human...
sigh.
VolitanLioness
New member
LOL That's Funny !:lol:
I have been to many LFS and I will say I have heard more dumb customers than Dumb employees!
I seen a lady walk out of a LFS because they wouldnt sell her 8 SW fish for her new tank, she was mad and just walked out.
No matter what LFS I go to I see clueless customers!!! And no I dont work at a fish store.
Kaye
TANGBOY5000
Premium Member
Me: Wearing our store shirt and cleaning a tank.
Customer: Do you work here?
Me: Nope.
Customer: Do you work here?
Me: Nope.
Jeremy Blaze
Former Reef Addict
TANGBOY5000 said:
I have gone into LFS wearing work clothes from other job, that say AutoZOne or DNR (depending on which job)
And have people come up to me, and ask " do you have any dogs?" or just the other day, " how much would a 40 gallon set up cost?"
It amazes me how some people can go through life so stupid.
Rikko
New member
TANGBOY5000 said:
My favourite reply to that is "No, I'm just a fan."
It happened a couple more times today so I figured I'd post this one..
Ok, long spine diadema urchins.. You know the one. Aren't their eyes so coooooool?
Sometimes I tell them. Sometimes I don't.
A clownfish is a common name for an anemonefish. A clownfish is a not-so-common name for a clown loach, a freshwater botia. You can imagine the arguments I've gotten into before somebody realized it was a semantic problem.
What I really hate are the question you're asked that are both yes and no answers.. Ie. We have a 72 bowfront display in the store with a Prizm hanging off it and then a whack of powerheads inside it. *pointing at the Prizm* "Is this the only filter on this tank?"
Well.. Yes.. No.. A skimmer is technically the only filter a system can have since it's the only thing that physically removes waste.. But the LR is "filtering" the water through chemical action... But then the powerheads aren't technically "filtering" anything but they're aiding the LR through currents...
The blank look usually comes up long before I start hurting myself.
I love this one:
"Is saltwater really that hard to do?"
"No, it's actually pretty damn easy."
"Then why do people always say it's so hard?"
"It needs a little more care, but as long as you know what you're doing it's easy."
*frightened look* "I'll stick with freshwater"
DaddyJax
New member
I had a customer come in and said " I cant keep the algae off my tank and only a few fish alive" I a sked the normal Q's like setup and whats in the tank and what kind of fish...! " 55gal and a needle fish and catfish"??? And I asked where did you get those? His response" Caught them myself from the Bay"
!!!! Took a deep breath and asked how much LR and what kind (sneeky suscpicion) He responds " About 75lbs we took from the Keys while on vacation!! Man it was so pretty we had to have it":mad2: :mad2: :mad2:
My manager ,overhearing this and knowing how VERY illegall it is to take that rock,jumped in front of me and asked the customer to leave.
!!!! Took a deep breath and asked how much LR and what kind (sneeky suscpicion) He responds " About 75lbs we took from the Keys while on vacation!! Man it was so pretty we had to have it":mad2: :mad2: :mad2: My manager ,overhearing this and knowing how VERY illegall it is to take that rock,jumped in front of me and asked the customer to leave.
Worked in a petsmart for a summer and some... I think I was more frustrated at the company's policies than the customers, but I have a few experiences of the latter worth sharing:
Woman: I'd like 10 goldfish please.
Me: Okay. What size of tank are you going to put them in?
Woman: A 10-gallon.
Me: Um, adult goldfish need 10-20 gallons of water each. That's a bad idea.
Woman: My husband is the head of a fishery [don't remember exactly what she said but her implication was that he oversaw a trout farm or something], so we have it all squared away.
And the crown jewel of my petsmart experience, a phone call. Parts of it I remember verbatim, and the rest is approximated.
Me: "Speciality, how can I help you?"
Customer: (after a 2-second pause. There was always a 2-second pause before this guy said anything) "Yeah, do you all have fish for ponds?"
"Yeah, we've koi."
Customer: "Koi? How many of them do you have?"
"Probably about a dozen. We're running low right now."
Customer: "Do you have anything else?"
"We've got tropicals, but they won't survive in an outdoor pond."
Customer: "Oh. Well, could I come in and look at them before I buy them?"
"Yessss....." (some slight incredulity leaks into my voice at this point...OF COURSE you can look at livestock before you buy it! Duh!)
Customer: "And, these koi will survive in my pond?"
"Yeah, as long as it doesn't freeze solid. I've never known a pond to freeze solid here in Oklahoma."
Customer: "Is that so? How cold does it get here in Oklahoma?"
"I've seen it get down to 0 degrees Farenheit, but if your pond is deep enough, you will only get ice on the surface. How deep is your pond?"
Customer: "*long pause* um, *short pause*, well, um, I can walk across it with out going under... it's 40 feet long..."
"Well, is it one foot deep, three feet deep, what?"
Customer: "*short pause* um, I'd say about four feet."
"Nah, it won't freeze solid. They'll be fine."
And the next thing out of his mouth blew my mind:
Customer: "What happens when it freezes solid?"
"They die." The 'what the hell do you think they do when it freezes solid, idiot?' effect has definately altered my voice here.
Customer: "Oh. Well, what about bird cages, do you sell bird cages?"
"Yeah, we have all different kinds of bird cages."
Customer: "Okay. What about reptiles? If I was going to buy a reptile, what should I get?"
"Have you ever kept reptiles before?"
Customer: "No..."
"Well, then I'd get an anole. They are small, easy to care for, and only cost about $4 or $5."
Customer: "Do you have anoles?"
"Yes."
Customer: "What other kinds of reptiles do you have?"
"We have geckos and Chinese water dragons."
Customer: "Do you have anything that changes color?"
"Nope. If you want something that changes colors, I'd try for one of the local pet stores that sells reptiles. Just look in the phone book, there are several that sell fish and reptiles, and some of them have birds too."
Customer: "Do I have to go to one that sells fish and reptiles, or can it just be reptiles?"
"It doesn't matter. There are stores with birds and reptiles too, and some stores that sell all three."
Customer: "Well...won't birds and reptiles eat each other?"
I pause a moment to prevent myself from hanging up on this guy.
"Not if you don't keep them in the same cage." I am getting somewhat ****ed off now.
Customer: "Oh. Well, so what kind of bedding would I need for an anole?"
"I don't know off the top of my head. You could just come in the store and ask one of the associates, and they'd help you."
Customer: "Why don't you know?"
"Look, I've got 10 years of fishkeeping experience, but I've never kept a lizard in my life."
Customer: "Then why am I talking to you?"
"Because I'm the one who answered the phone."
Customer: "Well, how would I know if you told me something wrong?"
"Look, sir, if I didn't know the answer to one of your questions, then I'd tell you I didn't know, like with the lizard bedding."
Customer: "Well, then, how would you know if I told you something wrong?"
"Like what?"
Customer: "Like the number of lizards." (I swear to god this is what he said)
"What?"
Customer: "Like the number of lizards."
"Like the number of lizards where? Look, sir, I've got customers waiting, so unless you have any more questions..."
Customer: "Yeah, I've got more lizard questions."
"Well do you want me to connect you with someone who knows more about lizards?"
Customer: "No, I want to talk to you."
"Alright, what are your questions?"
He hung up.
I'm pretty satisfied with the way I balanced the line between not calling the guy an idiot to his face and still trying to answer his questions. I partly think it was a prank call... that no one could really be that stupid.
Woman: I'd like 10 goldfish please.
Me: Okay. What size of tank are you going to put them in?
Woman: A 10-gallon.
Me: Um, adult goldfish need 10-20 gallons of water each. That's a bad idea.
Woman: My husband is the head of a fishery [don't remember exactly what she said but her implication was that he oversaw a trout farm or something], so we have it all squared away.
And the crown jewel of my petsmart experience, a phone call. Parts of it I remember verbatim, and the rest is approximated.
Me: "Speciality, how can I help you?"
Customer: (after a 2-second pause. There was always a 2-second pause before this guy said anything) "Yeah, do you all have fish for ponds?"
"Yeah, we've koi."
Customer: "Koi? How many of them do you have?"
"Probably about a dozen. We're running low right now."
Customer: "Do you have anything else?"
"We've got tropicals, but they won't survive in an outdoor pond."
Customer: "Oh. Well, could I come in and look at them before I buy them?"
"Yessss....." (some slight incredulity leaks into my voice at this point...OF COURSE you can look at livestock before you buy it! Duh!)
Customer: "And, these koi will survive in my pond?"
"Yeah, as long as it doesn't freeze solid. I've never known a pond to freeze solid here in Oklahoma."
Customer: "Is that so? How cold does it get here in Oklahoma?"
"I've seen it get down to 0 degrees Farenheit, but if your pond is deep enough, you will only get ice on the surface. How deep is your pond?"
Customer: "*long pause* um, *short pause*, well, um, I can walk across it with out going under... it's 40 feet long..."
"Well, is it one foot deep, three feet deep, what?"
Customer: "*short pause* um, I'd say about four feet."
"Nah, it won't freeze solid. They'll be fine."
And the next thing out of his mouth blew my mind:
Customer: "What happens when it freezes solid?"
"They die." The 'what the hell do you think they do when it freezes solid, idiot?' effect has definately altered my voice here.
Customer: "Oh. Well, what about bird cages, do you sell bird cages?"
"Yeah, we have all different kinds of bird cages."
Customer: "Okay. What about reptiles? If I was going to buy a reptile, what should I get?"
"Have you ever kept reptiles before?"
Customer: "No..."
"Well, then I'd get an anole. They are small, easy to care for, and only cost about $4 or $5."
Customer: "Do you have anoles?"
"Yes."
Customer: "What other kinds of reptiles do you have?"
"We have geckos and Chinese water dragons."
Customer: "Do you have anything that changes color?"
"Nope. If you want something that changes colors, I'd try for one of the local pet stores that sells reptiles. Just look in the phone book, there are several that sell fish and reptiles, and some of them have birds too."
Customer: "Do I have to go to one that sells fish and reptiles, or can it just be reptiles?"
"It doesn't matter. There are stores with birds and reptiles too, and some stores that sell all three."
Customer: "Well...won't birds and reptiles eat each other?"
I pause a moment to prevent myself from hanging up on this guy.
"Not if you don't keep them in the same cage." I am getting somewhat ****ed off now.
Customer: "Oh. Well, so what kind of bedding would I need for an anole?"
"I don't know off the top of my head. You could just come in the store and ask one of the associates, and they'd help you."
Customer: "Why don't you know?"
"Look, I've got 10 years of fishkeeping experience, but I've never kept a lizard in my life."
Customer: "Then why am I talking to you?"
"Because I'm the one who answered the phone."
Customer: "Well, how would I know if you told me something wrong?"
"Look, sir, if I didn't know the answer to one of your questions, then I'd tell you I didn't know, like with the lizard bedding."
Customer: "Well, then, how would you know if I told you something wrong?"
"Like what?"
Customer: "Like the number of lizards." (I swear to god this is what he said)
"What?"
Customer: "Like the number of lizards."
"Like the number of lizards where? Look, sir, I've got customers waiting, so unless you have any more questions..."
Customer: "Yeah, I've got more lizard questions."
"Well do you want me to connect you with someone who knows more about lizards?"
Customer: "No, I want to talk to you."
"Alright, what are your questions?"
He hung up.
I'm pretty satisfied with the way I balanced the line between not calling the guy an idiot to his face and still trying to answer his questions. I partly think it was a prank call... that no one could really be that stupid.
acropora1981
New member
This fellow comes into our store raging mad, and stinking of booze. He's slurring and swearing that the fish he just bought is dead, its a Koi. He had bought the fish about 2 hours earlier. Anyway, he hands me the bag and its about 100 degrees. The drunk had leaft it in his car, which of coarse he was driving. We had to call the cops to get him to leave, after he threatened to harm the manager.
acropora1981
New member
"The worst customer by far though, is the "experienced" saltwater hobbyist who asks you questions even though they think they know the answers. They will grill you then proceed to argue with you about the information you just gave them until you show them in the numerous books in the store that they are in fact, utterly oblivious."
LOL, I HATE that guy!!!
LOL, I HATE that guy!!!
