Etiquette

[LatinoHeatCHI]

I don't want this thread to be a bash fest on fellow reefers BUT an education on what is sometimes considered an unspoken rule or ETIQUETTE when meeting or dealing with each other. For instance, is it proper etiquette to invite another reefer in your home when they come over from picking up anything their buying or that is given away? Do you guys have any other pet peeves or things that you would to help everyone understand that might be automatic for you but someone else might not be aware their actually offending you.

 

[badazztealcobra]

My biggest pet peeve is people saying they want something or will take something only to never be heard from again..... :furious:

Dont tell me you want something and then decide you don't want it and vanish. Atleast have the common courtesy to tell me you don't want something so I can move on to other people and I'm not holding onto it for no reason....

I always let people into my house when they come over.... It's not a big deal to me....

 

[lex211]

Removed

 

[ostrow]

Ya people that sell stuff and want to meat you in Egypt to pick it up hand you a couple of bags and say see ya if your selling stuff than a person should be able to see it come from the tank other wise you can keep your crap

Sometimes that doesn't work. Depending on the time, if kids are going to bed or sleeping -- there are scenarios I have been in when I have had to meet people on the front porch with bags.

But it is not my preferred situation, and I do tell people in advance if that will happen.

 

[sugartooth]

I'm opposite of Lex. I like to meet people at a convenient location for both parties. I don't necessarily want to have people to come to the house if I have never met them before. Also, it's just easier for me since I travel a lot during the weekend. If they meet me, they want it enough to do so, which gives me a little more confidence it will go to a good home.


I also agree with Badazz.....a courtesy note is always expected to confirm if they intend to meet you or not. If I don't get one, I usually try not to deal with them again.

 

[lex211]

Sometimes that doesn't work. Depending on the time, if kids are going to bed or sleeping -- there are scenarios I have been in when I have had to meet people on the front porch with bags.

But it is not my preferred situation, and I do tell people in advance if that will happen.

Ya can under stand that. But that isn't the situation that I'm speaking about. short story i got burn ,meet me here ,here you go, see ya , bye ,got home and most of the stuff was crap.so then there was someone else that had some really nice corals for sale it was a good drive but i was willing to make the drive so i ask for his address he said I'll meet you down the road from my house (once bitten twice shy) his loss Probably would have taken most of what he was selling

 

[rocke_reef]

I will not buy or trade if i can't see where it come from..

 

[Dana19620]

Ditto on the no show.

Having people come into my home is no problem, since people are from the forum, its not likely anyone would pose a threat.

I also have no problem meeting someone somewhere if it makes things easier.

I've also dropped stuff off at peoples homes when we've done group buys if I happen to be in the area they live - or have met them part way so they would not have to drive as far. The last group buy from ccritters, I picked up the stuff from Ruth in Marengo and brought several orders back to Aurora as well as dropped one off in Elgin on my way through. It made no sense that several people would have had to drive an hour one way.

I've also met people someplace to pick up an item, because it made sense travel wise.

However, that being said, if someone was absolutely adamant that they did not want me to come to their house to pick something up, then I would be worried.

 

[nullcable]

I personally would be too worried to invite some random person on this or any forum. A person who is a reefer might not mean they are safe to bring to my house. If it is someone you know from a frag swap and have gotten to meet them, that is one thing. But, inviting complete online strangers home would be too nerve racking.

 

[Rizup]

I can see both sides of the coin. Us reefers are a pretty motley crew

I do agree that people backing out without the common courtesy of letting you know is rude and is a cause for not dealing with a person again.

 

[LatinoHeatCHI]

I know I've been guilty of not getting back with someone about a purchase but only because work & family life plus 2 of my kids live an hour away I do get distracted but not intentionally. Those that know me know my crazy work hours & family life! Lol BUT I do try to stay in contact with people. I know there's two people I still have to get up with recently that I wrote down so I wouldn't forget anymore.

 

[LatinoHeatCHI]

As for not letting someone on here into my home - My Philosophy Is Simple: I'm Not Money Hungry Or Greedy! SO If I'm that adamant about not showing you my tank I won't buy from you! I can't imagine not sharing stories with fellow reefers! I've spent hours a fellow reefers houses & made friendships from people openly showing me their tanks as I have let them into my home. I couldn't give someone I didn't trust my address but not let them in my home? Just me?! :lol: I've given stuff away & people have blown me off too! Go figure?

 

[aiko670]

If any of you have ever let Beefy in your home then you'll understand why I don't always invite people in.

 

[skunkmere]

sometimes i don't have the time to show my tanks, my house is messy, or my i just am too tired. so i lately have been just giving my stuff away to friends or just tossing it.

 

[reef4mat]

@Skunkmere...what are you giving away?

btw..I'm considering that situation now. Even though I had my tank crash a couple months ago, some of the softies are making a comeback. I have a couple plugs of these palys that I'm thinking of trading or giving away. I'll try to post a pic later. I've only met two people that I met immediately outside home and the rest were kind enough to invite me in. This makes me inclined to also let someone into my home.

 

[skunkmere]

@Skunkmere...what are you giving away?

btw..I'm considering that situation now. Even though I had my tank crash a couple months ago, some of the softies are making a comeback. I have a couple plugs of these palys that I'm thinking of trading or giving away. I'll try to post a pic later. I've only met two people that I met immediately outside home and the rest were kind enough to invite me in. This makes me inclined to also let someone into my home.

im giving away cheato, and i got two nice colonies of purple and green montiporas. ill trade the montis for something. but im leaving for texas tomorrow afternoon.

 

[Dana19620]

Latino, you were one of the first people that I met form the forum when I came over for a handful of sand to seed my tank. You and your family were wonderful to meet.

There were a couple other people who also gave me some seed sand, and they too graciously let me into their homes and shared their knowledge and beautiful tanks.

I'll gladly invite you into my home, even though my tank doesn't compare with many that I've seen. And in the winter, when we bring in almost 20 plants from outside, my house is jungle and a mess.

 

[LatinoHeatCHI]

I didn't know what was proper before I came to CMAS. I know the 1st people I've met on here from craigslist set the tone for what I felt I should at least do. Since then I've met nothing but great people on here. I've only tried to match the generosity I've been given. Dana my family enjoyed your visit especially the kids :lol: I've learned from everyone I've encountered.

 

[N3gative Cr33p]

Don't tell me you want something and then decide you don't want it and vanish. At least have the common courtesy to tell me you don't want something so I can move on to other people and I'm not holding onto it for no reason....

Agreed! You took the words right out of my mouth, brutha. Although luckily enough, this has never happened to me. But I know it's happened to you in the past, and I could tell by your expression how upsetting it was.

The two people that have stopped by to pickup frags I had no problem letting in, since they both sounded decent enough through "speaking" with them via PM. I let them inside to chat fish tank stuff while I bagged up their frags. Truth be told, I've never met nicer strangers before. It's probably the shared hobby that helps.

 

[nixer]

no call no shows.
im not a delivery service. you want my stuff well then come get it, unless were meeting half way on a trade or something.