1. Structural: if you're building the house, make sure to add extra joists or columns to support the tank. Much easier to do upfront, but not impossible as a retrofit. I'm in the process of adding 2 steel I-beams to my floor to support my new 250g tank.
Add a utility sink (and obviously a water source) into your fishroom.
Add a floor drain and sump pump in your fish room. When the eventual flood happens (and it will) you'll be soooo happy that you did , and your wife will be even happier. You can drain your RO waste water and utility sink into it too. Oh yeah, plumb your sump so that you can flip a valve and drain your tank water into it for a water change too.
Reactors are not really that bad. I run carbon and GFO in a BRS reactor. They're pretty cheap ($50 or so) and do a great job. I'm not sure why you sound hesitant to use reactors. Calcium reactors are a little more expensive upfront, but cheaper in the long run than 2 part dosing.
Unless you have a sealed sump, add a humidistat controlled vent fan (venting outdoors) to the fish room to control humidity. You'll need it. Trust me. If you live in a cold climate, consider an ERV (heat exchanger).
For another $100 you can get a dosing pump for vodka. Well worth it. I buy a $15 gallon of vodka, drop the feed tube into it and ignore it for a few months.
Other than that, everything said above is pretty spot on.