The key to sebae(probably H. crispa) anemones (all anemones actually) is to make sure it is healthy. In this case it means long tentacles (over 1"), tacky tentacles (they should stick gently to the hand that tries to remove the anemone), base attached to what ever substate the tank has, and a closed mouth.
IME, moderate light is OK. In tanks less than 17" tall, 2 - 65 watt PCs or 1-150 watt de MH per 2' of tank is enough. If your 40 gal. tall is more than 18" tall you would probably want to go with 250 watt MH.
As far as flow, I would say, soft coral / LPS type flow. No need for SPS type flow. Depending on the size of your return pump, if you are using the 40 gal tank, the return plus a Maxi-jet 900 or something similar would likely be enough. Warning!- Cover the intakes of all powerheads with a sponge!