What is important is not the temperature of RO/DI, but the surface temperature of your refractometer. If you use salinity as opposed to gravity as the basis of your measurement, then the temperature of sample water should not matter.
Moreover, IMO, whether your device was calibrated with sea water or brine at factory is independent of how it should be calibrated by us.
I am sure I read one of RHF's articles in which he recommended RO/DI, but I may be wrong.
I'm positive that Randy never recommended using RODI to calibrate a refractometer.
You are absolutely correct that it is the temperature of the refractometer and not the water that is important. The small amount of water you put on there will very quickly come to match the temp of the crystal on the refrac. That's the reason the instructions usually say to wait a few seconds between putting the water on there and taking the measurement.
The reason the manufacturers say to do it with DI is because they don't know what you are going to measure, so that is the most sure point they can give you. But it is ALWAYS better to calibrate any instrument that only has a single calibration point as close to the actual measurement you intend.
It's about scaling. I've said this so many times it hurts. Many refractometers are scaled for saltwater and not seawater. Even ones that are sold as seawater refracs. Using a saltwater refrac that is calibrated at zero, a 35ppt seawater would measure 36.5ppt.
But if you calibrate with a 35ppt standard, then no matter what type of refrac you have, as long as it matches that standard you know you have 35ppt. That will always work out. Guaranteed.
Now, imagine the manufacturer said to calibrate to 35ppt, but you intend to use the refrac to measure a brackish tank at 1.010. Guess what, now the 35ppt calibration is as useless if not more useless than the RODI one.
If and ONLY if you check the refrac and it is true at two different values using the same calibration (say 35ppt AND zero) then you can assure yourself that the scale is right and you can calibrate it with anything you want.