HAHAHAHA this was a great read! When I built my 75 gall stand, my father and I built it to be high enough that I wasnt wiping prints off and to help keep my boy out of the tank. He was 1 year then, now hes 9 and has 2 little sisters. Thankfully the only hitch i have had is my 4 yo daughter taking the lid off the top off barrel to play with it! lol Although I ahve to almost stand on a ladder to get in the tank< and im am 6'3, It worked out, have lots of room under there for tall skimmer and other goodies!