ATTN: LFS employees

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"hey kid, stick your hand in the live rock tank, i dare ya". At that time a stonefish lunges up and grabs his hand. Then you say, "too bad kid, youre gonna have to let that thing let go by itself, cuz i aint touchin it....oh by the way did you know they have a sting capable of killing a person? Good luck though!"


probably enough to make him pee his pants and have his GF dump him :D
 
See, that's the trouble with the world today. Not enough danger to kill off stupid people before they get old enough to breed.
Bring back lawn darts!
 
So true.


<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10196989#post10196989 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by PrivateJoker64
See, that's the trouble with the world today. Not enough danger to kill off stupid people before they get old enough to breed.
Bring back lawn darts!
Click to expand...
 
I agree

I agree

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=10196793#post10196793 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Lytehouse
that may be my favorite so far. No words, no interaction, just walk over and feed the tank like you were on your way to do it anyway. Classic.
Click to expand...

I heard a couple browsers cometing on the LR I was comming up out of the office to say hello. I looked grabed some food and walked over to the LR bin and though some food in. turned and said hello can I help you? What's in those tanks LR I said the look of bewilderment on there face was priceless. I could tell they were afraid to ask more questions.
 
I worked in a SW LFS a while ago. We somehow got this one customer - he was definitely a little mentally handicapped - who would call up on average once a day and have a conversation like this with whoever answered:

Him: "Heloo, this is Steve, do you have any turtles?"
Us: "Hi Steve, we don't sell turtles. (You know that, you just called yesterday....etc.)"
Him: *click*

And some days, a few minutes later, he would call up and do the same thing. Sometimes he asked multiple times on the same call, or would be insistent and ask "Why don't you have any turtles."

It was hard to be mean, because there was clearly not much going on upstairs, but come on, did he really need to call every day, and sometimes up to 10 times?!?
 
Yesterday I had a phone call.

Me - Southwest Reef
Her - I just got a tank do you think it will be okay if I used that water in the bottles? You know distilled cause I don't want to put minerals in my tank.
Me - Well you can use distilled if you have no other choice and dont want to use tap water. RO is preferred.
Her - What's RO?
Me - Have you seen those Culligan water machines outside of grocery stores?
Her - Yes
Me - That is RO, we sell an RO unit that is 100 GPD and is $200, it will be cheaper to buy an RO unit than spend $0.50 per gallon on water over the course of your reef tank.
Her - Oh really? My tank is fresh water.
*Click*
 
I dont work in a LFS but .....
My sisters friend came over to ask me a few questions as he heard I had several reef aquariums and needed some advice.
For four years he had been trying to keep corals with no success, everything in his aquarium was wonderful, his fishes and macro algae was thriving beautifully, never a sign of ich .........
But everytime he placed a coral, within weeks it would die.
He did daily water tests for phosphate, nitrite, nitrate and so on - all was perfect to keep corals....
I asked him if he ever medicated his aquarium - he said he never needed to as his fish were never ill.
Well I couldnt help then as I was clueless.
Anyway, three months later he decided to sell his aquarium to me as he got fed up - he only ever wanted a reef tank not fish only...so off I went to pick it up.
When I got to his home he had already striped the tank down - sold all his LR and fish, so we started loading the aquarium into the van. Then he passed me a huge box of pipes - in which I asked him with a horrified look 'what did you use these pipes for?' he answered for the sump and overflow...I answered ' you know these are copper pipes !'
 
LOL! One of the best Ive heard, leggy.
After 10 years in the industry, Ive plenty of stories to tell.. but am still employeed, so best keep my mouth shut (none of them are about any of you who read RC.... lol)
 
Standing at a display tank watching a blue ribbon eel swim around, a woman walks up with her boyfriend/husband and says (in my best southern, redneck slang) "OH LOOK Hunnnnny!! it's uh snake!! can I have it??!!" She looks at me and asks, "Is that snake for sale?" I said yes, and it's not a snake it's a saltwater eel. She then says, "OH, is that saltwater that it's swimmen in?" I just shook my head and walked away. I was glad that I didn't work in the store.
 
I forgot one.....it wasn't a stupid customer but an angry one...and i wasn't there but this is how it was told to me: one friday a guy comes in to look at filters, sees one he likes and gets the store to hold it........well like twice a year the store changes prices and it just so happen that saturday night that filter was increased by five bucks........he come in sunday to get the filter and sees it went up five bucks and accuses the manager of price gouging (sp?).....the manager explains the situation to him but he is still mad and demands for the owners number......the manager says 555-6382 and the guy calls that number from his cell phone standing at the front counter.....the guy is expecting to give the owner a peice of his mind but what the manager did was give him the store number.....so the store phone rings and the manager picks it up and says "XYZ fish store, can i help you".......remember they are like 10 feet apart......the customer says "I'd like to speak to the owner" and the manager says "he's not here, but i'm the manager can i help you?" and waves at the guy........the customer looks up, realizes what is going on and flips out, leaving the store cusing and yelling...........absolute best manager revenge story ever
 
I have a story...Not form a LFS but along the same lines. I live in Vancouver, Canada, so right at the pacific but a bit cooler than tropic waters! I called a guy about some livestock he had on craigslist...

Me:Hey I was wondering if you still have the clowns or tangs, maybe some corals?
Him: Oh no sorry, they are all gone.
Me: Oh man too bad...
Him: It really is too bad, I would have given them to you for nothing, I ended up just returning them to the ocean so I could get rid of the equipment.
Me: What? Like OUR ocean???
Him: Yeah just down at the beach...

It went on a bit more...basically me trying to figure out how he could be so stupid! Apparently he thought the fish, LR, corals, ect. were all from local waters...Poor fish and corals. Froze to death.
 
I was also just thinking of a time when I was in a LFS and overheard a guy who was trying to buying a bunch of tangs for a tank he was buying that day!!! They explained the cycle and told him he needed to wait. He explained that his family was coming and he needed to make his place look nice. He said he would just buy new ones after these ones die! i was shocked. They refused and then all of a sudden he magically already has a different older tank at home that he will put them in instead...Yeah right. They still say no, so of course he begins screaming about how much money they will be loosing if he walks out the door. The employee asks him to please leave and that they don't want a dollar of his money, that the fish are much more important to them...I like this story even more because the employee was my brother! I still cant believe how people can just "replace" fish after killing them basically knowingly.
 
I’m sure this is very common but people come in with their kids all the time trying to buy “nemo”. First thing I always ask is do you have a freshwater or saltwater tank, simple question right? I generally get the “I don’t know”. My next comment is usually, “if you don’t know then it’s probably freshwater and nemo is saltwater, if you like to buy nemo then let me show you this bio cube”.
 
How often do you guys get people trying to buy fish to feed to your other fish? Or how often do you guys get kids coming in trying to buy a fish because their buddies dared them to eat it? What about people coming in to buy tubing to make a bear bong?
 
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