Forum Rules...
- Thread starter P.Kelly
- Start date
kevin95695
Member of the Registry
Dude, you got the RC fuzz on high alert. Back down NOW.
Right up front RC is billed as "Reef Central is an on line COMMUNITY" Remember that.
I say this as someone that has been banned and spent MANY moons paying penance to re-join this voluntary and PRIVATELY OWNED community.
You are publicly addressing men, women, and children all over the world in a forum that is monitored and governed by a subjective body. This is not a personal playground.
Watch yourself.
Right up front RC is billed as "Reef Central is an on line COMMUNITY" Remember that.
I say this as someone that has been banned and spent MANY moons paying penance to re-join this voluntary and PRIVATELY OWNED community.
You are publicly addressing men, women, and children all over the world in a forum that is monitored and governed by a subjective body. This is not a personal playground.
Watch yourself.
dots
Premium Member
A little dry in the idea and bouncing department is what worries me.
I see a lot of potential if we can ever get on the same page, we have a lot of resources and knowlegable people here who constribute in many ways.
I think people can see why we were trying to establish an unoffical policy of keeping things positive, because unofficial is all your going to get. Its the easiest and most straight forward.........but will only work if we do it as a group, together.
If we had just one common goal such as that, (which is as simple as it can be), I bet that would lead to better things. In fact, when everyone was practicing it, everyone commented on how enjoyable things were.
Is this our forum to dictate and regulate? No, and the landlords do have strict guidelines that are in place for the good of the community. However, I could strongly argue that this forum is MARS, and that more interaction can take place in a few hours than in all of the meetings combined in a year. Being on RC is vital to MARS as you have access to one another nearly 24/7 and is essential to foster new members and be part of the greater reefing community.
I spend a great deal of time here. Because of that, I take pride in what goes on here and am so in hopes to make it fun and educational not only for myself but you as well. Because there is no united front against BS, its a free for all and we are divided and conquered and may as well just hang out in the general disscussion forums.
Here are your rules:
Just be cool to one another and don't post in anger or spite, don't do it for ego or to be malicous or petty. Always ask yourself "what do I hope to acomplish by posting this?" and reread it from a 3rd person view. As well, give people the benifit of the doubt and be patient not to jump to conclusions before jumping on someone. Be empathetic or "put yourself in thier shoes", reread and rewrite your posts to ensure YOUR ideas are getting across to others clearly. Elaborate them if needed, (who does that more than I?), Encourage positive change and lead by example. Find creative ways and use analogy to example your ideas. Constantly try to push the limits of your knowledge and don't be afraid to be wrong. Admit humility and recognize when you are wrong. But most important, be fair to your fellow reefer as we sink or swim together here.
I see a lot of potential if we can ever get on the same page, we have a lot of resources and knowlegable people here who constribute in many ways.
I think people can see why we were trying to establish an unoffical policy of keeping things positive, because unofficial is all your going to get. Its the easiest and most straight forward.........but will only work if we do it as a group, together.
If we had just one common goal such as that, (which is as simple as it can be), I bet that would lead to better things. In fact, when everyone was practicing it, everyone commented on how enjoyable things were.
Is this our forum to dictate and regulate? No, and the landlords do have strict guidelines that are in place for the good of the community. However, I could strongly argue that this forum is MARS, and that more interaction can take place in a few hours than in all of the meetings combined in a year. Being on RC is vital to MARS as you have access to one another nearly 24/7 and is essential to foster new members and be part of the greater reefing community.
I spend a great deal of time here. Because of that, I take pride in what goes on here and am so in hopes to make it fun and educational not only for myself but you as well. Because there is no united front against BS, its a free for all and we are divided and conquered and may as well just hang out in the general disscussion forums.
Here are your rules:
Just be cool to one another and don't post in anger or spite, don't do it for ego or to be malicous or petty. Always ask yourself "what do I hope to acomplish by posting this?" and reread it from a 3rd person view. As well, give people the benifit of the doubt and be patient not to jump to conclusions before jumping on someone. Be empathetic or "put yourself in thier shoes", reread and rewrite your posts to ensure YOUR ideas are getting across to others clearly. Elaborate them if needed, (who does that more than I?), Encourage positive change and lead by example. Find creative ways and use analogy to example your ideas. Constantly try to push the limits of your knowledge and don't be afraid to be wrong. Admit humility and recognize when you are wrong. But most important, be fair to your fellow reefer as we sink or swim together here.
Last edited:
bored4long
New member
Will everyone please read this outloud to yourself 3 times?
I can't tell you how many posts I have edited or completely deleted from rereading it and admitting to myself it offers no value to the thread. People need to turn on their internal filters and learn to respect each other. If one post is disrespectful (perceived or actual), why do others feel its then ok for them to be equally disrespectful. You must LEAD, not follow.
I greatly appreciate Dots' and Mark's endless efforts to keep everyone cool. I've been at disagreement with them in the past, but can still appreciate their goal at trying to keep the peace.
JJ4417
New member
...and along those lines...
Why don't people use more of this? (Just another random thought.) Copied from the faq...
Ignore lists are used for those people who's messages you wish not to read. By adding someone to your ignore list, those messages posted by these individuals will be hidden when you read a thread.
If someone torques you, just turn em off. Everyone will be happier. Ignored folks rotate to dead threads, you don't get spun up by stuff that really means nothing in the grand scheme of life. Works in the MMO world, why would it not work here? Trolls don't get responses, nor would they get the help they need.
And I'll echo the comment about Dots...seen a couple of times where a return salvo would have been well within reason, but Dots' post is calm and back to the point.
Why don't people use more of this? (Just another random thought.) Copied from the faq...
Ignore lists are used for those people who's messages you wish not to read. By adding someone to your ignore list, those messages posted by these individuals will be hidden when you read a thread.
If someone torques you, just turn em off. Everyone will be happier. Ignored folks rotate to dead threads, you don't get spun up by stuff that really means nothing in the grand scheme of life. Works in the MMO world, why would it not work here? Trolls don't get responses, nor would they get the help they need.
And I'll echo the comment about Dots...seen a couple of times where a return salvo would have been well within reason, but Dots' post is calm and back to the point.
airinhere
New member
I think its important for everyone here to remember that we all know each other. This is very unusual for an internet forum. We see each other every month.
Personal issues trickle over onto this public forum when they have little to do with the topic at hand. Often the real underlying animosity is left out. To all the world, these sorts of posts look incredibly agressive. Nobody viewing this would consider that the people arguing actually know each other in the real world.
This is very normal in a social group. However, it still is in bad form, and all parties involved should realize that their differences should be dealt with in a real life situation.
First, because the possibility for misunderstanding is removed when you can actually talk to the other person.
Second, because the permanent record of these arguments just serves to strengthen the reasons for continuing the hostility.
As for people posting negative things about stores or vendors.
Its going to happen.
We all need to stop overreacting to the incidents. The original poster is obviously not entirely reasonable in the first place or they would take a more constructive route for dealing with their issue. Plus, the OP is probably still miffed in general and looking for arguments about their recent situation. Why give them an outlet for their frustration.
Same applies for anyone who regularly is hostile to reasonable input. Or to anyone who gives inconsiderate "advice".
Do not respond to them.
Do not argue with them.
We are not their parents. They do not have to change because we would like them to.
But they do not have to be our friends either. Or, we do not have to be their friends.
And like it or not, this club is a group of friends.
Stores and vendors will quickly realize that some negative posts are being made from time to time, but those posts are doomed to a single voice.
If someone says something you disagree about, let them know.
But, remember that the other person deserves your respect and is in no way whatsoever obligated to agree with you no matter how "right" you think you are.
And to adress the new line of provoking comments about appeasing stores to give us free stuff for our tanks by refusing to say bad things about them.
Do not buy any more raffle tickets please.
And refusal to make libelous statements against stores truly has nothing to do with the raffles or anything else. It is to repair the image of a bunch of whiny, geeky, know-it-alls who want everything at a discount. It is to undo the damage done by thoughtless members who feel obligated to be treated special by our local stores regardless of their behavior while at those stores.
Want to know what any business hates in a customer? Come in and stay for three hours, talking to every employee so they dont get anything done. Price shop everything and then haggle for the absolute cheapest things the store sells. Ask for a discount based on being part of a group that openly defames the store and then tell everyhone in a public forum what a terrible experience you had there.
Dont be that guy.
Merry Christmas.
Personal issues trickle over onto this public forum when they have little to do with the topic at hand. Often the real underlying animosity is left out. To all the world, these sorts of posts look incredibly agressive. Nobody viewing this would consider that the people arguing actually know each other in the real world.
This is very normal in a social group. However, it still is in bad form, and all parties involved should realize that their differences should be dealt with in a real life situation.
First, because the possibility for misunderstanding is removed when you can actually talk to the other person.
Second, because the permanent record of these arguments just serves to strengthen the reasons for continuing the hostility.
As for people posting negative things about stores or vendors.
Its going to happen.
We all need to stop overreacting to the incidents. The original poster is obviously not entirely reasonable in the first place or they would take a more constructive route for dealing with their issue. Plus, the OP is probably still miffed in general and looking for arguments about their recent situation. Why give them an outlet for their frustration.
Same applies for anyone who regularly is hostile to reasonable input. Or to anyone who gives inconsiderate "advice".
Do not respond to them.
Do not argue with them.
We are not their parents. They do not have to change because we would like them to.
But they do not have to be our friends either. Or, we do not have to be their friends.
And like it or not, this club is a group of friends.
Stores and vendors will quickly realize that some negative posts are being made from time to time, but those posts are doomed to a single voice.
If someone says something you disagree about, let them know.
But, remember that the other person deserves your respect and is in no way whatsoever obligated to agree with you no matter how "right" you think you are.
And to adress the new line of provoking comments about appeasing stores to give us free stuff for our tanks by refusing to say bad things about them.
Do not buy any more raffle tickets please.
And refusal to make libelous statements against stores truly has nothing to do with the raffles or anything else. It is to repair the image of a bunch of whiny, geeky, know-it-alls who want everything at a discount. It is to undo the damage done by thoughtless members who feel obligated to be treated special by our local stores regardless of their behavior while at those stores.
Want to know what any business hates in a customer? Come in and stay for three hours, talking to every employee so they dont get anything done. Price shop everything and then haggle for the absolute cheapest things the store sells. Ask for a discount based on being part of a group that openly defames the store and then tell everyhone in a public forum what a terrible experience you had there.
Dont be that guy.
Merry Christmas.
pbetito
New member
The majority of the members are getting it and the "positive" push has been doing wonders to our reputation. When I started this new campaign and got us back some of our discounts at the LFS, I made promises to do all that I could to improve things such as the forum allowing people to slam the local stores without reprocussion. While some argue that it is censorship or sucking up for donations, what the point really is, is that these stores are our friends and share our enthusiasm in a hobby. I talk with the various employees of all the stores on a fairly regular basis and can say firsthand they all have their plusses and their minuses, just as the rest of us do. These are small self owned shops, not major corporations. When you attack them you do harm to not only their buisnesses but you insult them directly. Would you want your negatives aired out by perfect strangers in a local gossip shop where no one is accountable for their own actions? I know I wouldn't. These people who own the LFS are all good people locally and this is our clubs forum. The majority of the club is all on the same page and would like to see this club continue to move forward. The few that don't will eventually be forced to get it by the policing of the whole. It is OUR club and OUR responsibility to do what we can to protect it and clean it up. I have seen the club do some serious repairing of burned bridges over the last 4 months and it is going to undoubtedly make this abetter place for all. While sometimes there is a need to look the other way and take the high road, other times call for standing up for what is right. This club is a great place that is definitely on an upswing right now and we all need to work as dilligently as possible to keep it that way. Look forward to seeing everyone at the xmas party and thank you for taking the time to read this and considerimg my opinions.
-Paul
-Paul
MrMikeB
New member
Preach on brotha!
Personally I am too cynical to see things through rose colored glasses all the time, but I am huge on respect. People will disagree, have dissenting views, and the works. I do not believe all posts have to have a positive message, nor is it reasonable to expect they would if they are mere representations of real world experiences where you get the bad with the good. I actually enjoy a good argument that can be articulated in such a way where differing thoughts are presented in a respectable fashion.
The key is simple... respect others. There are many ways to say, "you are full of sh$%" where people will actually go away with a smile because you at least acknowledged them and their ideas. Speaking of that... I think I will just on that note.
Personally I am too cynical to see things through rose colored glasses all the time, but I am huge on respect. People will disagree, have dissenting views, and the works. I do not believe all posts have to have a positive message, nor is it reasonable to expect they would if they are mere representations of real world experiences where you get the bad with the good. I actually enjoy a good argument that can be articulated in such a way where differing thoughts are presented in a respectable fashion.
The key is simple... respect others. There are many ways to say, "you are full of sh$%" where people will actually go away with a smile because you at least acknowledged them and their ideas. Speaking of that... I think I will just on that note.
dots
Premium Member
Though it has been a very rough couple of days here, I am glad that people DO care and are wanting to make it a better enviroment. But it's not going to be easy as it is always easier to destroy than create.
I was looking at some other club sites tonight. Did you know that we have one of the largest post and thread counts? Excluding, large regional forums like Arizona and SoCal, we are right up there. With that much activity that rivals even forums like the "LPS" forum, we need to exemplify and demonstrate how it should be done.
How to go about gently reminding ourselves and tactfully avoiding situations while looking at the bigger picture is something we should touch on, as we needed the other night.
Unfortunatly, this is not going to be something to be solved in a day and will take some stewing in order to get everyones input and observations as well as determine the best course of action to benifit the greater good. I think we are heading in the right direction.
Go Team!!
I was looking at some other club sites tonight. Did you know that we have one of the largest post and thread counts? Excluding, large regional forums like Arizona and SoCal, we are right up there. With that much activity that rivals even forums like the "LPS" forum, we need to exemplify and demonstrate how it should be done.
How to go about gently reminding ourselves and tactfully avoiding situations while looking at the bigger picture is something we should touch on, as we needed the other night.
Unfortunatly, this is not going to be something to be solved in a day and will take some stewing in order to get everyones input and observations as well as determine the best course of action to benifit the greater good. I think we are heading in the right direction.
Go Team!!
bored4long
New member
Agreed. 1000x agreed.
I think this is the true cause of the drama we see from time to time on here. People will post comments that may be disagreeable to others. That is life. Get over it. There is no need to post a response that attacks the OP.
