I remember being quite cold many times but once in particular sticks in my mind. It was 1970 and I was a Sargent in the Army in Colorado before I went to Nam. I did my jungle training in Colorado in the winter and in Colorado if it doesn't snow at least 5' deep, they don't even notice it or take out a snow shovel.
We were doing war games which is totally stupid. I had to ride in a small "roofless" Jeep across these plains which stretch almost to Vermont with this skinny second Lieutenant who was not to bright.
We had to lay out this COMMO wire for a few miles by ourselves. We started out and the wire was going out the back. It was snowing. And snowing, and snowing. Eventually it was a foot deep and we didn't know where we were or why we were there.
Remember this is decades before cell phones or even credit cards. We didn't even have a working radio or a pen to write a post card.
Now we were covered in about 18" of snow and it was cold. The Army "Cold Weather Gear" at the time was about as good as Lycra that Nadia Cominich wore on her Olympic trials.
I was shivering, scared and disgusted. The snow was getting deeper.
The LT. tells me he is going to climb on top of a hill and see if he can tell where we are.
I said, "Good Idea because we are going to die"
So he gets out and leaves me there. Now it is getting dark and the snow is picking up as is the wind.
After a few minutes I hear: "HHHHhhhhhhhhooooWWWWWWWlllllllllll".
I am a New York City boy and the only thing we have in New York that howls are rats and roaches.
I must have been thinking "Big Foot", wolf, or the very strong Russian Cossack girl I was dating.
The Lt. is no where to be seen. I yelled for him but it was drowned out by:
"HHHHhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooWWWWWWWWlllll. HHHHHHhhhhhhooooooWWWWWllllll."
And, It, or THEM was getting closer. HHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhoooooWWWWWllll.
Then CLOSER.
I remembered, I have a weapon. An M-16. Yeah. But wait, I idon't have any bullets. I was praying for at least one bullet so I could blow my brains out before whatever it was that was going to kill and eat me any second and wouldn't have the satisfaction of hearing me scream. Or cry, maybe wimper. OK beg for my life.
I got out of the Jeep and climbed on the hood. Now I am at least two feet off the ground and we all know that Big Foot and wolves can't climb that high.
I held my rifle by the barrel and was ready to smash the first thing that came close.
My visibility was very limited by the snow so I waited until I could smell freshly killed accountant on his breath and I would strike. The cold was completely through the Lycra thin clothing I was wearing.
Suddenly and without warning, I HEAR:.....................................................
"Sargent Baldassino What are you doing?"
So we were lost and I had to walk in front of the Jeep a couple of miles while picking up the wire until we found our way back.
I