To the original question-
An anemone is dead/dying when:
1. Pieces come off of it/ it starts dissolving in the water
2. The smell....
Please try to listen and learn from these guys trying to help you, they have many years of experience and have done countless hours of hard work learning and keeping their tanks. I remember when I first joined RC, Todd was a big help for me, he has great advice.
Also, I would find another lfs in your area and have them test your water, see if the results match your friend's. Some times test kits are old, mistakes made, or other things happen. Over my six years in the saltwater water hobby, I have become good friends with my lfs owners, nice guys. But as stated before, they own a business and they rely on sales to make a living. I quickly came to recognize this and, even though I'm still friends with them, I research everything on my own and rely on everything I have learned. One of the lfs owners is still set in the "old" ways of the hobby and is not very up-to-date with the modern tech and the other one is only into the "new" things. So it's very important for you to do your own research and make your own, informed decision.
Purely from a consumer stand point, it's like buying a car. Your not just going to go to a dealership, look at the first cool car you see, and buy it on the spot, are you? No, you're going to research before you make a decision.