Our significant others and our reef tanks

[justinr2k]

How many of you guys/gals have a significant other who complains about your tank/reef hobby?

My girlfriend used to complain constantly about how much time and money I spend on my tanks. Nowadays she just mentions it here and there. Mostly when I finally sit down at 9pm to spend some time with her. It's not always 9pm. But I barely ever make it done with whatever I'm doing by 8pm. I get off work at 5 and am home by 5:15 or so, then it's tank time. I'm either cleaning, rearranging, changing water, testing water, feeding, fixing, or misc other things. It's like I have to have a project. Last weekend I ran pipes in the attic from laundry room to behind tank to somewhat automate water changes.

It's always one little thing I need to do. Then it's another and another. Or sometimes the little thing turns out to be a big thing. But I can honestly say that I love it. It's my favorite thing to do. My girlfriend just doesn't seem to like me spending so much time on it. Or should I say more time on it than on her. We finally came to the agreement that I be done by 8pm every night. She realized I was going to do something to my tank every evening so the compromise was that she gets 8-bedtime. Most of the time I'm done by 8 and we go to bed between 11-12. It's a great and fun hobby for most of us. It just takes up a lot of our time.

Just figured others out there had similar issues.

 

[NastyZ]

When I was first setting up my tank my wife loved the idea of a tank and actually pushed me to get one but soon realized that it was taking a lot if my free time I would spend countless hours reading and tinkering she expensed her concern and i realized that I was spending to much time on my tank but as my tank became more mature and things became more automated (controllers and ATO) my tink time went down and now I can actually enjoy my tank and look at it with wanting to change something more importantly spending time with my wife and kids couple of thing I did is alway include my wife in decisions: pick a fish, pick a coral, do you like this color combo ect and I got my kids involved with water changes mostly letting them hole the hose, fill my ATO and feeding the fish my wife loves the tank she alway showing it off and posting pics of it so it worked out you have to look at from her point of view how would you like it all she did was stay in the bathroom all night and do her hair and you only saw for an hour or so you wouldn't like it would you

 

[scott3569]

Well, I am not sure my input is much good here because one I don't have my tank up, and two I don't have anyone else in my life..

That being said..If I did, I would maybe try to include them in the things that I did with my tank..Maybe they are not interested, but they seemed to be interested in having one..so why not include them in what needs to be done and learn together

 

[HumbleFish]

My wife has a love/hate relationship with my involvement in this hobby. She loves looking at the tanks, and has even named all of my fish. She likes telling me where I should move a rock to, will sometimes want me to buy a certain fish/coral (usually not compatible :headwalls when we go to a LFS, etc. etc.

But she doesn't like all the time I spend working on my tanks or posting on here. She would rather I worship the ground she walks on 24/7.

 

[Paul B]

I had my fish long before I met my wife and she knows that it is not going anywhere. I buy fish, she buys shoes.

 

[houstonhobby]

One thing I do is to never ever complain about the money my wife spends on anything, no matter how much I might think it was a waste of money. Of course, to my wife all of the money I spend on the tank is a waste of money, and I probably average $1000 a month or even more. Never keep track of money in this hobby. Not a happy thing.

 

[triggreef]

One thing I do is to never ever complain about the money my wife spends on anything, no matter how much I might think it was a waste of money. Of course, to my wife all of the money I spend on the tank is a waste of money, and I probably average $1000 a month or even more. Never keep track of money in this hobby. Not a happy thing.

+1 here. Anytime you complain about something she buys, you open yourself up to be questioned. I consider myself a fairly honest husband, but when it comes to the tank the less she knows the better lol. We came to somewhat of an agreement about not bashing what the other buys but sometimes there's still words exchanged. I usually plan shipments for arrival when she works which helps.

I also got her a little more involved by getting a good camera. Sometimes I catch her taking tank pics. Either cuz she likes it or she's proving a basis for divorce I'm not sure. Lol but she generally would never notice something new. Every now& then she thinks she saw something new, I just say c'mon, that's been there for a year. It's just now starting to grow. Lol

Also, an apex controller really does help. Everything is automated. Most I do is fill the auto top off now and then. Qt keeps me very busy though sometimes. Like when a fish med requires 25 water change every day. Yuck

 

[meisel1]

I seem to be in the same position as Paul. Have had tanks in one form or another for 41 yrs and a wife for 25 ...mind you i only spend about 2 to 3 hrs a week on the two I have now.

 

[clay12340]

Wait till you have kids...

That said make a budget. You've got X dollars/hours that fall into both of your personal entertainment funds. You don't spend more than that and no one questions where the money/time goes since it is simply meant for stupid expenditures. If you don't budget your time and money it's always going to be lacking.

If that sounds like too much work trade the girlfriend/wife in for a dog. They'll love spending time with you while you work on the tanks. They always seem to be a lot happier to see you when you come home too.

 

[M4rz]

Our significant others and our reef tanks

I don't have an issue with either. She likes the hobby as well.

 

[IdahoCindy]

My husband seems to enjoy the "view" when I'm leaning into the tank! He hasn't complained yet. He knows this endeavor is one which helps me relax after work. Fortunately, the tank is right in the living room.

 

[ALH]

My husband is also very supportive and he never complains about money I spend. When I had my 180 gallon tank I could have bought a gem tang and he would've been cool with that. But we're not rich and I don't spend money like that. I'm setting up a 34 gallon tank now. I already had most of the equipment so money output will be minimal. Unless I decide to buy a candy basslet

 

[KafudaFish]

No I have never had my wife complain about this hobby.

If all the bills are paid off and the kids are taken care of why should she? I don't care what she does with our money any more than she cares what I do with it.

Why be with someone who complains about you being happy about something in life?

 

[Paul B]

and I probably average $1000 a month or even more

I don't spend a thousand dollars a year on my tank.

Wait till you have kids...

Been there, done that. My Daughter went to Fordham. One year there costs more than what I spent in the last 43 years with my reef tank. :hmm4:

 

[MondoBongo]

One thing I do is to never ever complain about the money my wife spends on anything, no matter how much I might think it was a waste of money.

sage like wisdom.

my girlfriend doesn't complain when i buy AI Vegas or an MP40, i don't complain when she buys a Coach purse, or gets her hair done.

like any other hobby, it is a money pit. lord knows the untold piles of cash i "wasted" racing my car. but at the end of the day, it's all about doing something you enjoy to blow off steam.

it helps that my girlfriend legitimately likes the hobby. even if she doesn't want any more tanks in our current house.

she very much enjoys looking for fish and corals, or coming home after a long day, sitting in the dedicated "tank chair" and just relaxing to the rhythm of the reef.

 

[terrypercula]

My girlfriend might even enjoy the tank more than I do...that being said she's a fish lover and I'm a coral addict so that's what our reef related battles are about. I buy a coral and she's mad I didn't buy a fish ha

 

[HiImSean]

My wife enjoys my tanks. We keep spending pretty fair in our household so no complaints from her. She does most of her studying in the room where the tank is. When I'm out of town for a few days she tells me I need to clean the glass lol

 

[imkelz]

Never had a problem with this. My husband loves the tank more then I do lol.

 

[aroundtown]

Wife hates the time and money I spend. I try to include her but she wants nothing to do with it. I guess I am a pain with three tanks...what can I say

 

[RVANANO]

My wife hated the 120 when I was setting it up but now she can't wait for the 300. Until I really start setting it up :lol: