trial and error, oldest but most reliable method. just like reefing it can be costly too. lol
Reef Tank or Wife
- Thread starter fishkeeprian
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trial and error, oldest but most reliable method. just like reefing it can be costly too. lol
Sonyardo
New member
It almost sounded to me like she was giving you the go ahead for a larger tank. Then She can have the fish in it that she likes. Win/Win.
I would choose the Wife over the tank any day. However, I would have a problem with anybody that put me in a position to make a decision like that. Now if she's the primary bread winner and your ****ing away her earning and working part time at walmart. Then she might as well kick your lazy arse out
The point is that there is always two sides to a story.
I would choose the Wife over the tank any day. However, I would have a problem with anybody that put me in a position to make a decision like that. Now if she's the primary bread winner and your ****ing away her earning and working part time at walmart. Then she might as well kick your lazy arse out
The point is that there is always two sides to a story.
lm still on the fence ... lets see ... shes jealous of my reef tanks, hmm ok. shes jealous of my guitars ,.. hmm not ok. i have found that if i keep telling her that she is still my favorite toy she leaves me be. but its getting tougher to convince her of that when i sit in front of my zeo reef playin da blues while she is trying to watch the hallmark channel....zsu
ThRoewer
New member
While I was single I had an empty 20 long in the garage, but never filled it.
Then I got married and my wife suggested to set it up because it would be good for feng shui. What she didn't knew then was that tanks have the habit of growing and multiplying like rabbits: that one 20 gallon freshwater tank produced 6 more saltwater tanks between 100 and 20 gallons (not counting refugia, QTs or food cultures).
So while she is sometimes complaining I can always respond "it was your idea"
Then I got married and my wife suggested to set it up because it would be good for feng shui. What she didn't knew then was that tanks have the habit of growing and multiplying like rabbits: that one 20 gallon freshwater tank produced 6 more saltwater tanks between 100 and 20 gallons (not counting refugia, QTs or food cultures).
So while she is sometimes complaining I can always respond "it was your idea"
monkeysee1
Member
I guess that in our household, I have the OPPOSITE problem of most of my fellow posters here!
I'M the one who introduced the idea of a fish tank for a hobby to do together. Hubby likes our tank, but not nearly as much as I do!!
If I had my way, there'd be a 900 Gallon IN WALL tank in our house, never mind a stand alone 90!!!
My hubby always asks: " Why? We have only a frigging 1000 square foot house!!"
Lol!!
I'M the one who introduced the idea of a fish tank for a hobby to do together. Hubby likes our tank, but not nearly as much as I do!!
If I had my way, there'd be a 900 Gallon IN WALL tank in our house, never mind a stand alone 90!!!
My hubby always asks: " Why? We have only a frigging 1000 square foot house!!"
Lol!!
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burgerchow1
New member
why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male?
to me, it's because men always still feel a need to take care of beautiful things.
after 2 trophy ex wives, I've still got my saltwater reefs, my African cichlid tank, and my turtle tank. Already told current gf that not going to marry again.
I think I know why I like my tanks so much. Tanks are beautiful, but
DON'T TALK BACK!!! LOL
to me, it's because men always still feel a need to take care of beautiful things.
after 2 trophy ex wives, I've still got my saltwater reefs, my African cichlid tank, and my turtle tank. Already told current gf that not going to marry again.
I think I know why I like my tanks so much. Tanks are beautiful, but
DON'T TALK BACK!!! LOL
burgerchow1
New member
Cheeselady
New member
That's a good question, and something I've wondered myself.
It's been my observation that many hobbies are dominated by men.
Cars, brewing, fish, trains, model planes, etc.
I'm curious why more women aren't getting into these things.
jccaclimber
Member
Find a way to put your fish stuff away. Personally there's always a taken apart something or other, a water change bucket, step ladder, or something fish related out in that room. That said, I recognize that long term I'm going to need to find a way to make all the maintenance invisible, have a woodworker make a nice stand, etc. While my wife has no attraction to tanks, she isn't opposed to them either. She is opposed to it looking like a construction zone rather than living picture.
JamesHolt
Active member
Wife's #1 complaint about the tanks..
Mine enjoys the tanks but not what they cost sometimes, still trying to convince her that we need one in the living room..
I always used to argue with my wife that women don't actually have hobbies. It's not true, of course, but I used to enjoy arguing the point. Maybe that's why she's an ex-wife ..... hmmn!
I do think the techy aspect of the hobby appeals to the male psychy though.
My wife is fine with it. We have 3 checking accounts (ours, hers and mine). Ours pays the bills and living essentials. Mine gets used on fish, toys and gifts for her. Hers is used for nails, pedicures, beauty salons, purses, shoes and occasionally a gift for me. Works real well for us that way. I honestly think she spends more on her list than I do on mine but we dont look or ask about eachothers "RatHole" of money.
WatDatThing
New member
My wife doesn't mind and doesn't get involve with my new hobby. She never ask me how much I spent because I"m the frugal one. When she complains about me spending too much time going to the lfs, I asked "would you rather I hangout with my guy friends and get drunk?" Sometimes her family gossip about some guy cheating on his wife and such. She asked me if I have a girl friend on the side. I said yeap and point my finger at the fish tank. LOL.
Seriously, you gotta put women in their place. Let them chose. I can be drinking, doing drug, gambling, smoking, cheating, or having a fish tank. Everyone gotta have a hobby. Reefing is a pretty healthy one.
My wife used to cook when she feels like it. One day I started talking about a girl I met at work and how well she cooks. My wife started cooking more regularly and pack my lunch. LOL.
Seriously, you gotta put women in their place. Let them chose. I can be drinking, doing drug, gambling, smoking, cheating, or having a fish tank. Everyone gotta have a hobby. Reefing is a pretty healthy one.
My wife used to cook when she feels like it. One day I started talking about a girl I met at work and how well she cooks. My wife started cooking more regularly and pack my lunch. LOL.
madducks42
New member
Threads like these for one, lol. I breed boa constrictors, love cars, and know enough about brewing that I'm too lazy to do it but will happily drink what my friends make. There are plenty of women already into these things. They just don't always join a forum because it may be awesome and you might get to have conversations with others who share your interests and are respectful. Or you'll bounce back and forth between mansplainers and creepers.
deputydawg88
New member
Can't say I struggle too much but the wife calls my tank my 'true love' and complains that I sit staring at it. Sometimes when I come downstairs she jokes that I've come down to check on the tank and not her.
I often talk at her about what I'm doing with the tank and why I'm doing it and she just smiles and nods, while not really interested. I let her name the fish in my tank; I had a bicolour blenny, who unfortunately jumped while we were out at a pub quiz and managed to get through the small clearance between the glass cover and the tank walls, that she named "James T. Franco" (James T for short), I have a Mandarin named "Zorn" and the bicolour blenny was replaced with a lawnmower blenny named Ian McKellen as he bears a striking resemblance to Gandalf.
DancingShark
New member
I will have to admit it was a slow process of my wife opening up to me spending money on equipment for the tank. With out the omg, or that chuckle that tells you well if you want it buy it but I am not on board. The more she learned about it the more she learned about the equipment and what everything did the more she accepted the cost associated with having a reef tank.
At first she would not let go of the fact that live rock cost so much. She simply saw them as rocks. She told me once we have enought rocks out side you could have pick up. She saw that is just sand and nothing more.
But once every individual equipment started working together she started seeing Beauty in my childhood fascination with tanks especially marine tanks She slowly started showing her interest and inputting suggestions of what kind of corals for fishes she wanted to see in the tank.
At the time she did not understand that not every animal could coexist in such a small place so it was struggle when I first had to say no and then deal with her disappointment of what she thought was me just saying no her. I slowly very slowly started educating her about the different types of fishes, corals, what can and can't coexist.
I even printed out a chart for her so she could double check what kind of fishes are compatible with each other.
Something like this helps a lot.
now now days I am the one that has to stop her from spending too much when we go to Frag swaps or local fish stores. I still need to remind her that she needs to introduce livestock very slowly and that the quarantine process is very important.
This is her purchase about 2 weekends ago.
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Over all she never has tried to tell me what to do. Whether it be cars, electronic or anything else. As long as you do your job in maintaining your house hold and saving momey i dont see why anyone should tell someone how to live. And for that I thank her.
At first she would not let go of the fact that live rock cost so much. She simply saw them as rocks. She told me once we have enought rocks out side you could have pick up. She saw that is just sand and nothing more.
But once every individual equipment started working together she started seeing Beauty in my childhood fascination with tanks especially marine tanks She slowly started showing her interest and inputting suggestions of what kind of corals for fishes she wanted to see in the tank.
At the time she did not understand that not every animal could coexist in such a small place so it was struggle when I first had to say no and then deal with her disappointment of what she thought was me just saying no her. I slowly very slowly started educating her about the different types of fishes, corals, what can and can't coexist.
I even printed out a chart for her so she could double check what kind of fishes are compatible with each other.
Something like this helps a lot.
now now days I am the one that has to stop her from spending too much when we go to Frag swaps or local fish stores. I still need to remind her that she needs to introduce livestock very slowly and that the quarantine process is very important.
This is her purchase about 2 weekends ago.
Over all she never has tried to tell me what to do. Whether it be cars, electronic or anything else. As long as you do your job in maintaining your house hold and saving momey i dont see why anyone should tell someone how to live. And for that I thank her.
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