sorry to hear about all your issues. I just wanted to share my jawfish experience.
I originally had a black cap on my stocking list. I was at a LFS about 2 weeks ago and saw the yellow headed and had to have him right then and there. I was with some family and they thought it was the weirdest looking ugliest fish there. Now they absolutely love the little guy. He is tied with my clowns as favorite fish in the tank.
I bought "sugar sized" argonite when I setup the tank and have not added anything larger, He burrowed under a long flat piece of rock. I think I should add some larger pieces for him but not sure on what sizes and how that would affect a sand sifting goby when I get him.
any input?
Certainly...
I finally got one of the jawfish to build a burrow in the open sand (like they do in the wild) rather than under a rock about 2 months ago. I had to add at least 5 cups of Course and Extra Course ARM media. I just threw it in a single pile in the corner. Over the course of a couple nights one of the jawfish dug a pit in the center of the tank at least 10" in diameter and almost to the bottom glass about 5" deep. Then "brick by brick" it built its den using ALL of the ARM media from the bottom up, back filling along the way with the finer sand. Now you can't even tell that there is a fist sized burrow under there. The other two jawfish are still content with their homes under the rock work though. I’m probably going to throw some more ARM media in there again to see what happens.