You should see how I handle the young men that come to call on the older girls -
Me: "Who are you?"
Young Man: "My name is ____. I'm here to see Amber."
Me: "Do come in. I'm a commercial diver for a living. Do you know what that means?"
Young Man: "That sounds pretty cool... Not really - do you scuba dive for a living?"
Me: "Yes, I do. Do you know how easy it is to dispose of a body offshore? I generally use a wood chipper and a crab trap... That is, if I can keep the sharks away from the corpse. Here, let me show you my speargun collection. This is a triple prong. This is a powerhead - essentially an underwater shotgun shell mounted on the end of a spear. It pretty much blows a big hole in whatever it hits. This - this is my own invention. It's a triple power head - a triple prong with three powerheads. I invented it myself using a little duct tape. Pretty ingenious, wouldn't you say? Never underestimate a redneck with a six pack of beer and a good idea!
Say, how long can you hold your breath? What time did you say you were going to have my daughter home tonight?"
Young Man: "What time would you like her home, sir?"
Me: "Good answer."